Female Rants

[Valerie]

So, does anyone have any ideas for other things I can do to subtly fuck with her?

Start by taking some money and going to a hardware store. Buy a sledge hammer, an exacto knife, and one of those vices that you put on tables. Go to work, put the vice on your desk, take your pants off, put your penis in it, and make sure the vice is really tight. Take the sledge hammer and slam it down on your penis as hard as you can. Then take out the exacto knife and cut off your penis, and cut it in half. Take one half and put it up your butt, then take the other half and put it in an envelope and send it to her desk with a note that says: "I'm way more gay than you think I am."

Yeah, that'll show her.

 

[Rabid Headbanger]

She has more money than you? How is that BAD?

 

[False Joe]

Fuck dude.

Just live on her settee buying stuff with her money.

There's fuck all wrong with being a toyboy.

 

[Life Sucks]

Start by taking some money and going to a hardware store. Buy a sledge hammer, an exacto knife, and one of those vices that you put on tables. Go to work, put the vice on your desk, take your pants off, put your penis in it, and make sure the vice is really tight. Take the sledge hammer and slam it down on your penis as hard as you can. Then take out the exacto knife and cut off your penis, and cut it in half. Take one half and put it up your butt, then take the other half and put it in an envelope and send it to her desk with a note that says: "I'm way more gay than you think I am."

Yeah, that'll show her.

Uh. ok. :Smug:


I seriously don't get why everyone seems to think I'm the antagonist in this situation with my coworker. The antagonist is HER. And all the stuff both her and I do is meant in fun. I'm not an asshole.

 

[The Heartbreak Kid]

Fuck dude.

Just live on her settee buying stuff with her money.

There's fuck all wrong with being a toyboy.

.

She can buy her own fucking diamond bracelet for her birthday.

 

[Cythraul]

Would anyone here date a girl that makes more than them? Right now, one of the women that likes me is a doctor. I'm still somewhat apprehensive about dating a woman that makes a lot more than me. I have a good job myself, but I'm no doctor.

Dude, I can't believe this is even an issue for you. That attitude is screwed up on so many levels.

 

[ThisIsACoolName]

Hey, would anyone else consider dating a woman who can read better than them? I can read but I'm no book master or nothing.

 

[rms]

Is this a joke?

 

[cookiecutter]

Would anyone date a girl who has a bigger penis than them? I have a pretty big penis but I'm no 6-8 black dude

 

[rfe]

Would anyone date a girl with a bigger nose than them? I have a pretty big nose but i'm no Jew.

 

[The Ozzman]

I pity Life Sucks right now.

 

[Life Sucks]

Would you date a girl who can bench more than you?
Would you date a girl who knows more about sports than you?
Would you date a girl who is taller than you?
Would you date a girl who can drink more than you?
Would you date a girl who listens to more extreme metal than you?
Would you date a girl who has a deeper voice than you?
Would you date a girl who is smarter than you?
Would you date a girl who is more talented than you?
Would you date a girl who is older than you?
Would you date a girl who eats more than you?
Would you date a girl who weights more than you?
Would you date a girl who has shorter hair than you?
Would you date a girl who is more athletic than you?
Would you date a girl who is cooler than you?

hahahaha

As for the bitch at work, I know I'm being childish, but so is she. She started our little war, and failed to realize me not calling a few years back had anything to do with her and should have in no way been insulting.

 

[BlackMetalWhiteGuy]

As a psychology major, I'm pretty much screwed unless my girlfriend has more money than me.

Also, LifeSucks, if you really want to fuck with her, next time you see her on the elevator, don't pussy out and take the stairs, get right in there with her like a real man and start talking to her. If she really doesn't like you, nothing will make her more uncomfortable than this.

EDIT: Nothing legal will make her more uncomfortable than that.

 

[Life Sucks]

As a psychology major, I'm pretty much screwed unless my girlfriend has more money than me.

Also, LifeSucks, if you really want to fuck with her, next time you see her on the elevator, don't pussy out and take the stairs, get right in there with her like a real man and start talking to her. If she really doesn't like you, nothing will make her more uncomfortable than this.

EDIT: Nothing legal will make her more uncomfortable than that.

Or it may really piss her off. I can tell that she hates me, and perhaps I can understand why, though I really meant no ill will towards her with my never calling.

 

[Vilden]

Those are probably retorical questions but I'm bored so I'll answer them anyway.

Would you date a girl who can bench more than you?

Yes, I think every girl I've ever dated bench more then me, at least they've all beat me in arm wrestling.

Would you date a girl who knows more about sports than you?

I don't know shit about sports so who cares?

Would you date a girl who is taller than you?

depends, not ultratall but a few cm, sure. I'm not ultratall either so it all works out.

Would you date a girl who can drink more than you?

Most girls can, so I don't really have a choice.

Would you date a girl who listens to more extreme metal than you?

Why not? Then I have something to discuss with her.

Would you date a girl who has a deeper voice than you?

Dunno, if she sounds like a guy then probably not.

Would you date a girl who is smarter than you?

That would be impossible so ofcourse not.

Would you date a girl who is more talented than you?

Well she is probably more talented at something so yes ofcourse?

Would you date a girl who is older than you?

Yes, that would rule.

Would you date a girl who eats more than you?

Most girls do, so again no choice really.

Would you date a girl who weights more than you?

Most girls do, so again, no choice really.

Would you date a girl who has shorter hair than you?

Yes, short hair on girls (not ubershort) is hot and I have pretty long hair.

Would you date a girl who is more athletic than you?

Most girls are so I wouldn't care.

Would you date a girl who is cooler than you?

Never heard of anybody who is cooler then me but if I meet someone she would probably be pretty cool so that would rule.

 

[Life Sucks]

Wow. I can't believe you answered all those questions. I was just making fun of how people were making fun of me.

 

[Vilden]

Yes I know. I was bored.

 

[False Joe]

And correct.

 

[Life Sucks]

Yes I know. I was bored.

Don't take this as a flame or insult, but you must be a pretty small guy if, as you say, most girls are bigger, stronger, more athletic, and able to drink more. I can't imagine dating a woman taller, heavier, or stronger than me, since then she would either be fat or a complete manbeast.

 

[Vilden]

Heh, well I weight ~50kg and am 176cm, that's large underweight. Not lots of room for muscles then.