Funny, rare and stupid things you have heard in a session

S

SymbolicSV

Member
Dec 8, 2004
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El Salvador
www.dreamlore.net
Hi to everybody,
just want to share some things i've heard in some sessions ¡¡¡

case 1: recording clean guitars
guitar: Fender Squier
amp: Fender rockpro
kind of sound: obviously something like a fender ¡¡¡
so this guy came to me and said: ...."hey i like the way it sounds........but....can you make it sound like a Ernie Ball guitar into a Mesa ????????? :Smug: :Smug: :Smug:

Case 2: recording some vocals
so in the midle of a session we were recording some "whispers" so the guy came to me and said: ..."hey... i would like this to sound......somethind like Loud but soft....i mean ....in Front but Behind" .. ¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡:waah:

Case 3: recording vocals again
the same guy ...again some whispers: ..."o.k i would like this one to sound like a sunray enter through my window in a lovely summer mornig" ¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡:goggly: :goggly:

so share your Experience ¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡
 
Recording our album:
The bass player has this "bassball" kind of sound, he listened the track he recorded and ask the engineer to get a slap kind of sound cause "protools is said to be capable of everything" :lol:
 
Vocal session: Drummer shows up. I ask "Where's the singer?" He replies, "I fired him yesterday. I'm doing the vocals now." Six weeks of auto-tune symphony begin.

-0z-
 
i tell my guitar player "hey man you're outa tune"
he says " what do you mean....it's on the guitar aint it"....dont know what he meant but had to just play with him outa tune
 
In between songs at a jam I played bass in, the guitar player said something about doing the chick at the gym, and the singer said "If you tap dat, let me smell your cock" and everyone started laughing and I just thought they were the most ignorant morons ever.
 
I was recording metal vocals with a hung-over low life, whose name I will not mention.. ....(Rick Swartz)...

He screamed so hard into the mic LITERALLY shit himself. Funniest, most disgusting thing I think I've ever witnessed. He had shorts on too.

:rock: :Puke: :zombie:
 
"can you make me really loud in my headphones, like... so loud that i can't hear the music that much?"

do you want a click track or something?

"no, just make me really really loud"

... ok [record]

"i can't hear the music"

:erk:
 
a few years ago i was recording this really shitty 311 type band. the guitar player shows up with no amp, refuses to use my marshall DSL100, 5051 or duel rectifier then insists that i have to rent him a mid 80's JCM 800, so i call the back line company that i rent from every once and a wile, and get them to send over the most killer marshall JCM i've ever heard, then this retard pulls a Line 6 pod out of his back pack, and plugs it into the 800 sets it to tread plate then complains that the set up doesn't sound "boogie" enough. i wanted to snap his fuck'n neck
 
MIC FIEND said:
a few years ago i was recording this really shitty 311 type band. the guitar player shows up with no amp, refuses to use my marshall DSL100, 5051 or duel rectifier then insists that i have to rent him a mid 80's JCM 800, so i call the back line company that i rent from every once and a wile, and get them to send over the most killer marshall JCM i've ever heard, then this retard pulls a Line 6 pod out of his back pack, and plugs it into the 800 sets it to tread plate then complains that the set up doesn't sound "boogie" enough. i wanted to snap his fuck'n neck
Click to expand...

sounds like time to open a can whoop-ass. You guys are makin me so happy i decided to persue this path. I thought it was bad being a live engineer.
 
here's one in reverse about a dodgy engineer:

Was at a session with one of my old bands and we're getting drum sounds with an engineer who usually recorded pub-rock like AC/DC. The drummer starts playing a beat.

Engineer comes over the talk back: "there's a weird mistrigger on the snare"
Drummer: "there's no triggers on the snare yet, just a mic".

He goes back to playing the shitty beat......

Engineer shouting over the talk back: "get that fucking trigger off that fucking snare".
Drummer again: "there's no fucking trigger on the snare"

Engineer storms into the room and grabs the drummer by the throat and pins him against the wall

Engineer: "I told you to get that trigger off the fucking snare so fucking do it".
Drummer: "look at the kit yourself and tell me where the fucking trigger is".

The engineer looks at the kit and can't find one and goes back into the control room
Engineer: "play that shitty beat and I'll record it and prove it to you"

So drummer plays the same shitty beat and we all head into the room to have a listen....3 beats in the engineer stops the track.

Engineer: "there! what's that you fucking twat?"...
Drummer: "a ghost note".
 
At a local studio where I used to hang out during sessions, the owner was really proud of some outboard auto-tuning thing he'd got, and he kept telling everyone about it. After that, I heard a couple guitarists/bassists moan about tuning their instruments saying "can't you just tune them afterwards with that thing you got?".

I've heard some weird things from the other side too. As a singer, I was in the studio right after a bout of laryngitis so I was being a bit cautious. Suddenly, the engineer says over the headphones "man, you've got to sing it like you've got a cock in your eye!". After that, every take I did I just got his voice in my head and burst out laughing. I had to take a 30 minute break before I could get another take down.

Steve
 
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