Grammary help (English, us English)

[villeh]

Hello, i havent seen a topic that could cover some help to us non English speaking. Making lyrics is sometimes quite tricky cause it translates to some other language quite differently.

is it possible to say: Her virtue is her sins

thanks

 

[crillemannen]

English isn't my mother tongue but i would have said: Her virtue is her sin, without the S on sins. But feel free to correct me too ofc

 

[Skinny Viking]

^ correct

 

[villeh]

but if she have many sins and those are her virtue

like she has only one "good" side of her which is her many bad habits

 

[DanLights]

It just sounds a bit weird to say "is her sins", if you really need to emphasize that there are many sins, then I would say "her virtue are her sins", that would be gramatically correct, but I think it sounds "nicer" lyrically speaking to say it as crillemannen said.

Btw, there is a thread for this, I think it was Jevo who made it, I'll search for it.

Edit: here it is.

Edit 2: It's simply "grammar help", that "grammary" thing just sounds awful weird to me.

 

[Skinny Viking]

no that wouldn't make sense .. virtue is singular, "sins" is plural

in the context of that particular lyric it doesn't work to try and make it sound like there are many sins that are equal to just her virtue

"her virtue is her sin" is the only way that works ... if you wish to incorporate the word "sins" in the lyric, you need more than just "virtue" to equate it to

 

[Jind]

You could always pluralize "virtue" to make the statement work - "her virtues are her sins", thus making the statement grammatically correct, multiple virtues = multiple sins. One can have multiple virtues.

 

[DullElysium]

I might be wrong but for my ear it's either:

Her virtue is her sin
Or
Her virtues are her sins

Or do you mean 1 virtue= many sins?

 

[Genius Gone Insane]

It depends on the preceding lines. Provide those and we can let you know for sure if it makes sense.

 

[villeh]

Thanks for everyone for helping, and yes i mean 1virtue, multiple sins

here are lyrics so far:

Her plastic diamond rings
Eyelashes are like wings
Her virtue is her sins
She likes to dress in golden
skirt and jewels and strings
But all she'll ever be
is discounted flesh for free

Don't waste your time on me
(I'm not the the one you waited for)
Don't waste your life on me
(I'm not the one you're looking' for)

2.
She wants to be the queen
Head over heels, she's wannabe
Nothing but a low self-esteem
And all she ever needs:
to put someone on his knees

Don't waste your time on me
(I'm not the the one you waited for)
Don't waste your life on me
(I'm not the one you're looking' for)

 

[Skinny Viking]

her virtues are her sins

her virtue is her sin


those are your only 2 options if you're looking for it to be correct

 

[Loki Laufeyiarson]

What about:
Her virtue is sinning
???

 

[villeh]

Thanks!

 

[egan.]

How about: She puts out and I appreciate that.

Seriously though, I think the guys have put you on the right track but I'll add that lyrics and poetry often ignore grammar. I knew exactly what you meant.

 

[JeffTD]

Thanks for everyone for helping, and yes i mean 1virtue, multiple sins

here are lyrics so far:

Her plastic diamond rings
Eyelashes are like wings
Her virtue is her sins
She likes to dress in golden
skirt and jewels and strings
But all she'll ever be
is discounted flesh for free

Don't waste your time on me
(I'm not the the one you waited for)
Don't waste your life on me
(I'm not the one you're looking' for)

2.
She wants to be the queen
Head over heels, she's wannabe
Nothing but a low self-esteem
And all she ever needs:
to put someone on his knees

Don't waste your time on me
(I'm not the the one you waited for)
Don't waste your life on me
(I'm not the one you're looking' for)

You need "skirt" to be plural (skirts) for it to work with golden.

Discounted flesh for free doesn't make sense; discounted implies there was a cost and now it is lower, free implies that there is no cost.

Wannabe is a noun, so it has to be "she's a wannabe"

low self-esteem can't be preceded by 'a' - it should be "nothing but low self esteem"

All she ever needs/to put someone on his knees is awkward; I'd phrase it's "all she ever needs/is someone on his knees" assuming that's the meaning you're going for.

 

[Keregioz]

Discounted flesh for free doesn't make sense; discounted implies there was a cost and now it is lower, free implies that there is no cost.

I get the impression the word he wanted to use is "discarded".

 

[JeffTD]

I'm not so sure on that - I think he's trying to imply that she's cheap and easy, not that nobody wants her.

 

[Keregioz]

Well either way, I think it's good alternative since "discounted" doesn't make much sense in that sentence. It could mean discarded from society not from men looking for prostitutes.

edit: scratch that, my mistake. I thought the song was about prostitutes but it seems that it's about "easy" women in general.

 

[villeh]

Yeah that discounted flesh for free, stands for an idea that something that is already "cheap" (discounted) and it has lost its value and become absolutely free, it represents more like an idea of body without mind than prostitute.

like if there is some item in discount, but people wont still buy it, seller must thrash it or give it away for free.

these lyrics tries to make a point that all the mtv/celebrity/fashion/makeup thrash what they are feeding has nothing to do with real feminity or life itself

you can find our songs and some studio messing on youtube [ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDs6z5dOU1I&list=TLhBLPF6_r5DE[/ame]

in case someone is wondering, WTF this sh** is