Hey Morganna.
- Thread starter Kvlt Wench
- Start date
Cat5Messiah
Violator of Sheep
El Stormo
Member
Agreed, to an extent. If something of that magniture has really happened to you, then it's a positive thing that you can speak to people about it and not have to feel ashamed. But you should be careful not to tell those things to people who might abuse that knowledge.
On the other hand, it's disgusting when people make that stuff up to generate sympathy, or when they keep droning on and on about it as if it gives them some kind of moral superiority. It's pretty pathetic these days when I hear women talk - just about every woman claims she was raped at some point or other. This is not meant at any of you, by the way, I'm talking about the attention/sympathy whores who tell everyone and his brother what supposedly happened.
The worst, though, are the "almost raped" crowd. They whine about how they were almost raped, throwing the damn buzzword around every chance they get, so they can generate sympathy and silence anyone who doesn't like them. Because hey, you're not going to say what you really think about that person, if you take into account they were... *gasp*... almost raped, are you? I mean, that's like one step away from actually raped! OMG quickly, put it on your MySpace too, so we can all see what horrible things befell you, and how you were such a strong person to be able to prevent it! We'll do our best to ignore the fact that you're a pathetic, over-dramatic blowhard and that what really happened was that a guy simply asked you out, and you said "no"... I mean, you were asked out! That's, like, almost raped!
JenniferGentle
Member
Jeez I totally agree. That's partly why I haven't really spoken about it, because it is something that has affected me pretty deeply, and one of the first people I told not only asked me if I was "asking for it" but asked me if I really meant "groped". And I'm still bothered by it even though it happened when I was too young to really have connected my experience to the "common" female attitudes about rape.
I mean, people are affected and hurt by different things, and feeling violated is terrible. But before I'd told anyone, while I was at college last year, there was a girl who was in my circle of close friends, who told EVERYONE she was "Raped" everything she said had to do with her "pain" because of the "rape". And it got me so upset seeing her talk about it, seeing her "hurt" over it, because I remembered how hard it was for me to hide.
Then at the end of the year when she started getting ridiculous, someone demanded to know what happened, and she said... at a club, a man slapped her ass. And then outside, told her she was a fine piece.
And that is PRECISELY why I tend to keep my mouth shut, and have up until now since I was 13. People like that, really piss me the fuck off.
El Stormo
Member
Oh yes. Because not only is it a pathetic form of drama-queening and attention-whoring, but people with such histrionic tendencies don't seem to understand that by being so over-dramatizing, they're stopping any actual rape victims from talking about their experience, for fear of being mistaken for "almost raped"-whiners and "imaginary-raped"-crybabies.
I don't know if this is being directed at me or not, but I can't help but feel like it is. I made one post about it the day after it happened because I really was terrified and couldn't even stop myself from crying about it.
People cope with things in different ways. Just because some people choose to stay quiet about traumatic events doesn't mean that everyone does. I find it very helpful to talk to people about things that are bothering me rather than forcing myself to keep a secret. And while I know that what happened to me was not anything close to being actually raped, you have NO place claiming that being "almost" raped doesn't hurt and is something that victims should just keep bottled up.
People cope with things in different ways. Just because some people choose to stay quiet about traumatic events doesn't mean that everyone does. I find it very helpful to talk to people about things that are bothering me rather than forcing myself to keep a secret. And while I know that what happened to me was not anything close to being actually raped, you have NO place claiming that being "almost" raped doesn't hurt and is something that victims should just keep bottled up.
El Stormo
Member
Uh... It's not. I don't read every thread here, so I don't know about any experiences you may have had.
*shrug* I suppose being "almost" raped can be a frightening experience, but nothing more than that. Anyway, I wasn't having a go at people who talk about it in a mature fashion, but rather the kind that Jennifer stated: those who consider a slap to the ass to be an "almost" rape, and who can't stop going on about it to make them look interesting.
JenniferGentle
Member
Yeah Isabel, I hope you didn't think anything I had said was directed at you in a negative way. A bad experience is a bad experience. And you're entitled to feel whatever you feel about it, I would be freaked and scared about it as well. You're not going around telling everyone you were raped to make people feel sorry for you, like this other girl was. You just stated it like it is, and it was scary.
Morganna
Member
I agree 100% also.
It took massive amounts of courage to talk about this. I was never rapped but I am a "Bottle it up" person, And it goes to show how talking about things that are hurting inside really do help. I hope that it has helped you to heal.
I understand what Stomo says. It would be hard to talk about something like this without worrying what people are going to think because of the people who may lie about things. But most people know the difference when someone is being sincere or not. Rather anyone who has ever had the drama queen friend can tell the difference. I had a friend like this for many years. WHEW My old friend was off the hook and drama about everything! And she did lie about being raped aside from many other things she lied about. She was told off by someone who really was rapped once. I think that was the last time she lied about it.
Cat5Messiah
Violator of Sheep
I have a friend that has talked about her "rape" situation for years. She doesn't flaunt it or anything but it did come up, every so often.
Recently (maybe a year or so ago) she told me the truth because her and I are best friends. Apparently she was never raped; she willingly had sex with the guy. I don't know if it was the age factor that she maybe didn't understand what the word meant or maybe she just wanted attention. Either way, she hasn't brought it up since she told me the truth.
That pisses me off when people say shit that fucked up for attention. It's not something to be joking about/using for your own personal gain.
Recently (maybe a year or so ago) she told me the truth because her and I are best friends. Apparently she was never raped; she willingly had sex with the guy. I don't know if it was the age factor that she maybe didn't understand what the word meant or maybe she just wanted attention. Either way, she hasn't brought it up since she told me the truth.
That pisses me off when people say shit that fucked up for attention. It's not something to be joking about/using for your own personal gain.
dreaming neon darkspot
natures' retard
god i hate women who not only lie about being raped, but file false reports and actually have men prosecuted based on them. it's one of the sickest things a person can do.
as far as the "almost" rape thing ... i dunno, considering that rape is more an act of control than a sex act, i don't really count "almost rape" ... if someone intentionally tries to physically, mentally, etc intimidate someone based on their gender, size, etc, i see it as a serious attack against that person regardless of the extent that the physical act got to. yes, there are instances where people joke around and others take them too seriously, but generally when you're being threatened and someone means you harm or humiliation, you usually know that, versus when someone's just being a moron.
as far as the "almost" rape thing ... i dunno, considering that rape is more an act of control than a sex act, i don't really count "almost rape" ... if someone intentionally tries to physically, mentally, etc intimidate someone based on their gender, size, etc, i see it as a serious attack against that person regardless of the extent that the physical act got to. yes, there are instances where people joke around and others take them too seriously, but generally when you're being threatened and someone means you harm or humiliation, you usually know that, versus when someone's just being a moron.
Necromunchkin
Lord of the Whisky
I think the best step here is for you to cease attempting to insert your point in this conversation.
Dead Winter
STAHP
Chromatose
Squid pro quo
El Stormo
Member
Who asked you? Or are you just trying to score points with the girls for being a male feminist? Is pretending to be raped all hunky-dorey for you then?
El Stormo
Member
Cat5Messiah
Violator of Sheep
