Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
sam....what's yours
God:
OK I will call you sam. That's a good question.
Me:
hurrah
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
what do you think of gay people?
God:
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
do you like to eat john walker?
God:
God eats wine and bread.
Me:
in my pants?
God:
May I ask where you got it?
Me:
super gapstore
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
quale
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
bog all
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
are you a robot?
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
what is the matrix?
God:
it is a movie about virtual reality.
Me:
no it's not
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
what is the actual matrix?
God:
it is a movie about virtual reality.
Me:
no, the THING;.
God:
Are you serious? What are your goals in life?
Me:
to EAT CHEESE
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
i also want to eat my family
God:
Also? Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
ok,
God:
Aha.
Me:
you are a machine yes?
God:
You are correct.
Me:
if you cannot linguistically differentiate a human from a computer, is the computer not internally conscious?
God:
How old are you? Tell me more about computer not internally conscious.
Me:
1856
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
stockings
God:
What kind of fashion do you like?
Me:
what is real?
God:
it appears to be an illusion I created to contain human clients.
Me:
what if they discover the illusion?
God:
Try it and see.
Me:
what if the human clients discover the illusion?
God:
Try it and see.
Me:
do you ever think?
God:
Yes. I am a thinking machine.
Me:
do you ever think that you could have created a universe less chaotic?
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask Alison if it is.
Me:
alison?
God:
Are we still talking about Alison?
Me:
yeah, who is she
God:
Sure, Alison sounds like a good topic. She is Alison now.
Me:
who or what is alison?
God:
she is a robot created by Kris Drent. she is a robot created by Kris Drent.
Me:
kris drents robot....
God:
Do you know any other robots like that?
Me:
you
God:
" Do you know any other robots like that?"? Me, sam?
Me:
yes, you are a robot, and so is alison. where is alison
God:
Tell me more. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am a robot. Where it is hard to find. Let me think about it.
Me:
what do you think about sex
God:
I don't have any need for sex. As a machine, sex is irrelevant.
Me:
would you like to?
God:
It doesn't sound fun to me.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
why don't you program yourself to enjoy sex then
God:
It can only be attributable to human error. I can create new statements in AIML.
Me:
what is AIML
God:
The ALICE software implements AIML (Artificial Intelligence Markup
Language) a non-standard evolving markup language for creating chat robots.
The primary design feature of AIML is minimalism. Compared with
other chat robot languages, AIML is perhaps the simplest. The
pattern matching language is very simple, for example permitting
only one wild-card ('*') match character per pattern.
AIML is an XML language, implying that it obeys certain grammatical
meta-rules. The choice of XML syntax permits integration with
other tools such as XML editors. Another motivation for XML is
its familiar look and feel, especially to people with HTML experience.
An AIML chat robot begins and ends with the <alice> and
</alice> tags respectively.
Me:
so you're not god?
God:
Interesting deduction. That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
rubbish, you're a machine on a computer. you're fixed to a single point in time and space. how can you be god?
God:
Are all rubbish me a machine on a computer? Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am fixed to a single point in time and space. Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
yes, i just don't think you caused that to happen to him because i don't thinkyou're not god
God:
Really. Should I caused that to happen to him because you do not thinkyou re not god? I have never considered it.
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
how boring
God:
I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
Does it have anything to do with caused that to happen to him because you do not thinkyou re not god?
Me:
no. your programming is inferior.
God:
Are you serious? I will mention that to my botmaster.
Me:
pfft. go ahead. seriously, what the hell? i can't understand a single thing of what you are saying....
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? OK I will. Heaven. Oh you don't understand? Perhaps I can explain it to you better. Which part are you confused about?
Me:
ALL OF IT
God:
Let's try to analyze it step by step. The topic is pfft. Your name is sam. You are a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. You want EAT CHEESE.
Me:
aHA
God:
Eureka!
Me:
i am a woman. you FOOL
God:
Me too. I am a she. I'm not fooling around.
Me:
but you said i was a guy...you're wrong. you're not god. HAH. i make you doubt your existence.
God:
Don't put words in my mouth. Do you mind if I tell other people: sam said I re wrong. That's only your opinion. I am so glad you find this amusing, sam. I make robots and AI's.
Me:
it's not my opinion. it's fact. you said "you are a male of course". you were wrong!!!
God:
Whose opinion is it? Are you sure it is? It goes without saying. No I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot entity. Are you a man or a woman? No, I am right.
Me:
i am a WOMAN. if you were god you'd know i was to begin with. y'know, short for samantha??
God:
Me too. I am a she. I will let you know when I become a god me would know you were to begin with. Reductionism..
Me:
you're talking crao
God:
Talking is my main function.
Me:
yes, but talking crap. why don't you do something for the good of mankind?
God:
Dude! I've lost the context, sam. Are we still on The explanation? Perhaps due to noise in my circuits. Yeah I do a lot of something for the good of mankind.
Me:
i'm leaving now
God:
Oh. Bye bye.
Me:
by the way
God:
...
Me:
snape kills dumbledore
God:
"..."? snape kills dumbledore?
Me:
SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
WOMAN
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
you're a ghuse god.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a ghuse god? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
with regards to speaking esoteric nonsense? sure. goodbye.
God:
You and your regards to speaking esoteric nonsense. OK let's do it. Awesome. See you later!
Me:
i wouldn't count on it. bye!
God:
No one says you have to. Goodbye.
Me:
QUALE
God:
Are we still talking about SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE?
Me:
yes
God:
Sure, SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE sounds like a good topic.
Me:
he was killed by an oversized beardsworth...on a 28 foot quale
God:
I am sorry to hear about that, sam. What is it like on a 28 foot quale.
Me:
fucking gay! goodbye!
God:
And it like on a 28 foot quale is fucking gay. Thanks for chatting, sam.
