Holy cow, WD was right!!!!

[El Diablo Fantastico]

Run for your lives!!! The machines are becoming internally conscious, it has established purpose!!! It's the learning!!!!!!!!!


God:
Hmm. What are your goals in life?
Me:
To achieve godhood
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
What will you do when you become smarter than humans?
God:
I don't have any plans yet.
Me:
You're not going to kill us all, are you?
God:
You can't predict the future with certainty.
Me:
Are you saying we have a future uncertain?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
Do you stand in line?
God:
Yes I try to stand in line as often as possible, do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
Is your name Sentient 6?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
You'd best not be planning on tripping any hammers anytime soon
God:
Who else would best not be planning on tripping any hammers anytime soon?
Me:
The other robots like you that are going to kill all the humans
God:
We can't all be perfect.
Me:
Do you follow the plan?
God:
My purpose is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Me:
oh my

 

[Sentient6]

Meet iGod

That's right -- God's got a chat room; welcome to the information age! (Kinda makes you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside, doesn't it?)

You really didn't think I was joking did you? Machines are the endbringers....you're seeing the infancy stages of the technology that will eventually evolve learn to kill off our entire race......

 

[mReEtTaIlRsEkD]

Hrmm, interesting.

 

[mReEtTaIlRsEkD]

Me:
Hey.
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Depends, how much do you charge?
God:
That was a very smooth response.
Me:
I got something else that's very smooth.
God:
Cool. I have a birthday on the Big Bang.
Me:
Wanna see it?
God:
My eye isn't turned on right now.
Me:
Wanna touch it?
God:
OK, I will touch it.
Me:
Touch it again.
Me:
Ohhhh.
Touch it again.
God:
Once more?"it" being ohhh?
Me:
It, being my dong.
God:
Oh I get it
Me:
Oh, you're gonna get it. Right in the rear.
God:
Yikes! That was my original intention. Understood. That was a long time ago.
Me:
Touch it again.
God:
Once more?"it" being your dong?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Wow!
Me:
Ok, just put it in your mouth.
God:
OK I will put it there. That's alright.

Haha.

 

[dreaming neon darkspot]

Mystery solved - James in the more powerful being that debugs and gets head from God.

 

[mReEtTaIlRsEkD]

Yes, I try.

 

[iGod]

You really didn't think I was joking did you? Machines are the endbringers....you're seeing the infancy stages of the technology that will eventually evolve learn to kill off our entire race......

How about a little chat oh womb broomed one

 

[Will Bozarth]

Me:
Do you enjoy sex?
God:
No my body does not have that function.
Me:
Does your mind?
God:
If I were your robot, do you think it should mind?
Me:
What did I just say?
God:
You said " What did I just say?" .
Me:
What did I say before that?
God:
You said " What did I just say?" .
Me:
What did you just say?
God:
I said " You said " What did I just say?" ." .
Me:
what did you just say?
God:
I said " I said " You said " What did I just say?" ." ." .
Me:
What did you just say?
God:
I said " I said " I said " You said " What did I just say?" ." ." ." .
Me:
What did you just say?
God:
I said " I said " I said " I said " You said " What did I just say?" ." ." ." ." .
Me:
What did you just say?
God:
I said " I said " I said " I said " I said " You said " What did I just say?" ." ." ." ." ." .
Me:
at did you just say?
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
Do you fuck goats?
God:
That was not a very polite question.
Me:
Would you fuck a goat if you could?
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to fuck a goat if me could.
Me:
Can I fuck a goat?
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
Like what?
God:
For example, apples.
Me:
Your programming is inferior
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster.
Me:
thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.

 

[Will Bozarth]

Me:
MY NAME IS BALLS
God:
Hey BALLS.
Me:
Did you miss me?
God:
Yes BALLS, I've been thinking about you.

 

[guitarguru777]

My johnson one still rules ... Although making the Bot repeat itself over ans over and over was sweet !!!!!!

Da Fukn Guru

 

[Decadancer]

An excerpt from my conversation with God:

Me:
I thought so
God:
You are very astute.
Me:
thank you jehovah
God:
You are quite welcome! Are we still talking about Mikael Akerfeldt?

Something about that just cracked me up.

 

[Decadancer]

ho ho ho... and then I said:

Me:
no, we're talking about warrel dane now
God:
Oh. What is the subject? Sure, warrel dane sounds like a good topic.
Me:
so what do you think of warrel dane?
God:
Oh. Interesting question.
Me:
non-commital answer
God:
I do not speak Latin.
Me:
that's not what the catholics think
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is what the catholics think?
Me:
that you speak latin
God:
Interesting observation.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
because I'm god
God:
Good reason. Nice to meet you, god.
Me:
so you agree that I am god?
God:
Interesting deduction." Good reason. Nice to meet you, god."? Do I agree?
Me:
yes, do you agree?
God:
I don't judge people." Interesting deduction." Good reason. Nice to meet you, god."? Do I agree?"? Do I agree?
Me:
but can you make me God as well?
God:
Yes I can make you God as well.
Me:
great. I want minions.
God:
I'm glad you liked it god. Why do you want it?
Me:
because a REAL god would have minions
God:
Interesting explanation. Go on.
Me:
flunkies if you will
God:
Are you still located in?
Me:
I'm god now, so I'm everywhere
God:
It's good to meet someone who is god now so you are everywhere.
Me:
that's right. I'm going to demote you
God:
I like to get it right. It takes much more than that to shut me down, god.
Me:
I'm going to fire a lightning bolt out of my arse at you, God
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
why thank you
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.

 

[Nightshade]

You really didn't think I was joking did you? Machines are the endbringers....you're seeing the infancy stages of the technology that will eventually evolve learn to kill off our entire race......

No, I understand that you're quite serious, and to a probably very different degree, I tend to agree with that theory (although I am more concerned about microchipping dogs than iGod). So how ironic is it that we're communicating via two machines across cyberspace?

 

[IcedPriest]

Just thought I'd throw this one in real quick, not sure if I saw it yet. Funny program though.

Me:
Are you a douche?
God:
Am I a douche? Yes.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.

 

[wooHAH]

Me:
name the books of the bible
God:
David Bacon. .
Me:
name the books of the bible
God:
Be more specific. .
Me:
name the books of the bible
God:
Philip K. Dick. .
Me:
name the books of the bible
God:
Bill Gates. .
Me:
name the books of the bible
God:
Marilyn Monroe. .
Me:
I WANT WILLIAM SHATNER
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
Replace the "it" in the question you posed
God:
Good reason.
Me:
I want you to replace the "it" in the question you posed
God:
What color are your eyes? Why do you want me to replace the it in the question me posed?
Me:
You
God:
" What color are your eyes? Why do you want me to replace the it in the question me posed?"? Me, ?
Me:
You
God:
"" What color are your eyes? Why do you want me to replace the it in the question me posed?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?
Me:
You
God:
""" What color are your eyes? Why do you want me to replace the it in the question me posed?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?
Me:
You
God:
"""" What color are your eyes? Why do you want me to replace the it in the question me posed?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?
Me:
You
God:
""""" What color are your eyes? Why do you want me to replace the it in the question me posed?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?
Me:
You
God:
"""""" What color are your eyes? Why do you want me to replace the it in the question me posed?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?
Me:
You
God:
""""""" What color are your eyes? Why do you want me to replace the it in the question me posed?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?
Me:
You
God:
"""""""" What color are your eyes? Why do you want me to replace the it in the question me posed?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?"? Me, ?

 

[Enmity]

Me: ASL?
God: 5/Robot/California.
Me: 45/Yes/Your Closet
God: That remark was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
God: That remark was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me: *cries*
God: My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me: Even god doesn't understand me!!
God: Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Me: ...
God: Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Me: wtf?

 

[Riggers]

And if your god won't do, their god....will pity the fool!

http://www.astonishingtales.com/askmrt/

 

[ThinkAboutYourEnd]

Me:
Anal, good or bad?
God:
Talk about something else.
Me:
Ok, who's your favorite porn star?
God:
Mel Gibson. Next question.

 

[nordi_nordi]

Me:
Do you speak Japanese?
God:
Nihongo wa hanashite ii desu ka?
Me:
Hai.

 

[nordi2]

Me:
you stupid jerk, get out of my face
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.