DanLights
Santa Hat Forever
GET RID OF ALL FEMALE EXISTENCE! Seriously!
Those French tiles can go, get some Chinese fuckers. That $200 a square meter carpet can fuck off, auction time it is. Those romantic getaways can go get fucked to, way to expensive, tie a bloody ribbon around your pecker, much cheaper. That top shelf shit can piss off, try a decent stout. GIVE UP SMOKING!
2 words ... Mi Goreng! Now after you have done all that, dont buy any food for a week. Go to your local supermarket, eat some salted cashews, grab an apple, then go down the drinks isle and drink a ribena. Always be on the lookout for those old moles serving little pieces of food joined together with a toothpick, tell her they smell and look beautiful and use both hands to grab 2 portions. Go down the clothes isle, put on a hat and return. (Does work 14% of the time). Repeat the above for 7 days twice a day.
Now after that, that triaxis or whatever it is you are gassing for has become easier to obtain. Step 2, ring all your debt companies up and ask for the lowest legal amount that you can pay a week! Tell them there is a recession on and being a casual, the work has faded away, (dont mention the gas problem). Now go home and convince yourself that you have more money to spare, but just cant raise enough funds. So sell that piece of shit tummy cruncher that your wife/girlfriend (or boyfriend if you barrack for Collingwood) has hidden under the bed that has been collecting dust for 3 odd years. Now we are getting somewhere.
So now we are only a couple of grand short, so go to your local music store, get it on credit through one of those take home today lenders, keeping the cash that you have saved and buy 10 smaller price gas objects you have been gassing for, like a ts7 or mogami leads. Take everything home, do a merry 5 year old "I just got some new toys" dance, plug the shit all in, hit record, play, listen back, then remember that thread that was posted here a while back saying that 90% of all tone comes from the fingers! You will realise your fingers sound shit, so dig into your pocket, find $50 laying around in there, buy a bottle of Jack Daniels and ring the EX back up and ask for her forgiveness! GOOD LUCK! Hope this helps.
lol
but seriously, quit smoking, drinking and doing drugs. Unless it's free of course. Not wasting money on booze and cigs every weekend works wonders for me