HOW DO YOU WANNA LEAVE......
- Thread starter nik
- Start date
Hell_Awaits
One more for the road
Jurched
Ask&YoullBeSorry
SPOT ON
"How to die = mean to be fun"
Ha! Thanks Nik! That's why I always look to the isles for all my humour needs!
If I may wax with more philosophy than hilarity...
I should probably perish from exposure to cold and wet conditions while nursing broken ribs with a folded piece of duct tape.
I should be in a prison cell awaiting final sentencing after a long, arduous trial in which I was accused of attempting to bait a riot against the government, and for insulting the name of Madame President, our leader for life, whose "Crisis management team" saw to bringing order to our cities and punishment to all opponents of her Just Regime.
The accused was locked in a clear glass cell while thousands of charges were levied by an increasingly raging court reader. The accused bore no signs of the secret police's rubber bat or cold bath treatments--a full body suit covered evidence of a forced confession.
During this trial, the servers of a computer system in California were seized and presented as evidence. In its memory were several thousand pages of documents signed by the accused. All were declared HIGH TREASON by the court.
The accused remained stoneyfaced as key passages referring to the evisceration of Madame President and her closest associates were read aloud, all of which had to be suspended as the audience voiced its shock louder than the court reader.
Live witnesses were called forth, some of whom recognised the accused's user name "Jurched" and eagerly condemned the accused as one of the worst blasphemers of the president's glorious name.
Among them was a laid off heroine-abusing school teacher who, shortly thereafter, was promised a position "with thanks from Madame President" on the promise that he wouldn't ply his habit on unsuspecting students.
Another was a moslem member of the liquidated intelligentsia, who, facing charges for a series of insults, offered to testify against the accused, in exchange for hard labour in Alaska. Madame President's secret police permitted the wretched traitor to live in bondage in order to make an example out of the accused.
However, before the gears of justice could grind another opponent of Madame President into the grave, unfortunately a bout of pneunomia stole away the Just Regime's glory...
That's how I'd prefer to go.
Jurched
Evil Dead
Hail to the King baby
Hell_Awaits
One more for the road
Catharsis70
Member
- Apr 28, 2005
- 832
- 1
- 18
Dont care much how I go. Deads dead. However I really dont want to be buried. Burn me, cut me into little pieces and feed me down the disposal. Toss my rotting ass into the wood chipper or feed my corpse to hungry pigs. Just dont put me in a rental hole. Lets face it, at some point and time they will need that space back either for another dead guy or more condos. I do not want my shit disturbed. Once Im done on this rock I wanna be truly done.
johnnieCzech
Your favourite Czech
gaschamber
check out my dumb band
its kinda funny to think that pretty soon there will be actual 90 year olds listenting to slayer...but on the flip side, there will be 90 year old wiggers soon too.
gaschamber
check out my dumb band
hahaha there is a place near me with a 6 pound gyro...i was considering the challenge until i ate one regular one and realised i would need to eat 5 more.
Evil Dead
Hail to the King baby
ah man I love gyros!! In Greece, you get them with fucking french fries stuffed in the bottom! Its weird, but still good.
I could easily eat an assload of gyros.
Evil Dead
Hail to the King baby
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