how to gain weight

[xfer]

over the course of two days (48 hours), eat...

1. one roasted pepper stuffed with ground turkey, tomatoes, and onions and brushed with olive oil
2. two slices of rye bread
3. one pear
4. one puffed white rice cake
5. one cranberry C odwalla bar
6. one tablespoonful of spinach and garlic
7. two slices of dried mango
8. one slice of garlic bread with butter
9. two large salads containing lettuce, grape tomatoes, cauliflower, red cabbage, and cucumber, and topped with Newman's Own Light! Balsamic Viniagrette


drink:

1. one glass of white cranberry/peach juice
2. two cups of coffee with splenda and skim milk
3. water


you would think this would cause you to lose weight, right? THINK AGAIN! Expect to put on about 1.5 pounds, perhaps more!

 

[minxnim]

sometimes when you eat less than normal you retain water.

 

[xfer]

what does retain water mean? i only know the phrase from ads directed at the female demographic, which i tune completely out.

 

[xfer]

the ads, i mean. i pay attention to women. unless they're nagging me and going on and on about shopping, you know, how women tend to do.

 

[minxnim]

it means that the cells in your body are holding in more water than they normally would, usually due to a sodium/potassium ion imbalance.
if you can, have less salt. this is why a lot of athletes drink gatorade type stuff, to keep their electrolyte balance regulated. (having an imbalance can cause lactic acid buildup and cramps)

 

[xfer]

blargh i like salt!

does it make me fatter or just heavier? is this related to "bloating"? if i keep eating small amounts of food do my cells learn not to retain water? doesn't gatorade have lots of sodium in it?

 

[minxnim]

you can still have salt. your body is probably just adjusting to the new way you're trying to eat? don't worry about it. it's more like bloating than fat. and it'll go away.

 

[minxnim]

btw because of water retention people's weight can fluctuate up to 10 pounds per week up or down.

 

[TheNewChupe]

a guy i knew had a theory for this which he called his Exercise Program:

1) Eat a steak burrito at midnight- extra meat.
2) Go directly to bed.
3) Repeat daily.

 

[mindspell]

Newman's Own Light! Balsamic Viniagrette

I would chek the nutritional info on that and compare it with the non-light. Usually with salad dressing the light version has a shit load more sugar in them compared to the regular version. just a thought.

 

[xfer]

TEN pounds?! so i could wake up tomorrow and be 171?!?!

 

[minxnim]

it's not likely, but some people are like that. the average person will have a fluctuation of 2-3 pounds per week though.

 

[lizard]

Alex, are you experiencing crabbiness?

 

[xfer]

NOW i am.

 

[minxnim]

i hope you dont get your period alex that'd be so weird

 

[avi]

aww, poor fatty

 

[xfer]

avi i'm going to crush you with my bare, flabby hands.

 

[mindspell]

What worries me the most is that you are so concerned about your own weight that you actually weigh yourself everyday...

 

[lizard]

wow this is a battle royale where all the wrestlers pile on one guy!

 

[xfer]

what do you mean? i weigh myself 2x per day. don't most people?