How would you feel if......

[Hawng]

so, if you don't mind me asking, is this your brother's situation?

No I don't mind, and no its not.

He tends to believe that once people are together and "love" each other that they should do whatever it takes to fix/make a marriage/relationship work. He feels that if they love each other a little thing like infidelity can be gotten over.

I think it can to, but people are to selfish and petty sometimes(both partys) to realize that doing things like that can hurt someone real bad emotionally and when they keep doing it, sooner or later it is going to make things unrepairable. It no wonder the divorce rate is 1 divorce out of 2 marriages. It is getting to the point where a monogamous relationship is going to be a thing of the past. But with drugs like Zoloft and Prozac for depression, it is no wonder they are some of the most prescribed drugs in America.

 

[unknown]

I'd break up with her. this is what happened with my last relationship. My girlfriend and a good friend of mine started to have feelings for each other...I told her to work through it and see if she could overcome how she felt and whatever. the two of them couldn't get over their feelings, so I ended the relationship and told them to have fun.

fuckers

 

[Chromatose]

call up Joey Greco from the hit TV show "Cheaters" to bust in on them while they're getting jiggy with a large camera crew and then act like it's all a sudden surprise and be on national television.

 

[derek]

No I don't mind, and no its not.

He tends to believe that once people are together and "love" each other that they should do whatever it takes to fix/make a marriage/relationship work. He feels that if they love each other a little thing like infidelity can be gotten over.

I think it can to, but people are to selfish and petty sometimes(both partys) to realize that doing things like that can hurt someone real bad emotionally and when they keep doing it, sooner or later it is going to make things unrepairable. It no wonder the divorce rate is 1 divorce out of 2 marriages. It is getting to the point where a monogamous relationship is going to be a thing of the past. But with drugs like Zoloft and Prozac for depression, it is no wonder they are some of the most prescribed drugs in America.

Drugs have taken the place of real emotional growth/the genuine coming to terms with ones life - it's quite shameful. It is a vicious and circle that (thanks to the government and the narrow-mindedness of modern approaches to psychology!) has started to self perpetuate.

I'm fond of monogamy. Either you're with someone or you're not, I'm not saying all marriages that encounter some infidelity are doomed but for me, being faithful is the absolutely most basic thing I want and love about any real relationship. Semper fidelis, indeed.

 

[El Stormo]

being faithful is the absolutely most basic thing I want and love about any real relationship.

Damn right. Fuck that "free love"-shit. A relationship is with one person, period.

 

[derek]

I'd also like to clarify and say that providing you're not in a relationship, having like 18 chicks on the books at once is totally fine.

 

[El Stormo]

As if that needed to be said

 

[Hawng]

exactly

 

[metalized]

feel is one thing, react is another.

The real problem is how much you love this person.
My reaction would be: leave her on the spot. Sleeping in the same with another man? What he only fingered her, or just licked her, but they didn't have intercourse, therefore not sex, right? Nah! This means that the next time they WILL have sex. So leave her on the spot. And not even say a word, as life is too fucking short to try to explain why, or try to play God with someone's emotions and feellings.

The thing is that after that my mental/psychological/emotional collapse would follow. Feellings unfortunatelly are quite sneaky. They cannot be controlled.

But definitelly leave her!

fuck! it makes me sick to even think about it. uke:

 

[Duckhat]

I am trying to settle an argument.

If your significant other had there own business and was traveling every weekend with the certain person they worked for and you come to find out that they had developed feelings for each other. He/she tells you that they have slept together, but didnt have sex.... that they are so close to each other that if He/she wasnt with you they would be with them.

How would you feel/react?

id get a pair of baseball bats because god knows id break the first one on the girl

 

[Necromunchkin]

I've become highly cynical about the ability for monogamy to function in current society because of the number of times I've been cheated on as well as the number of involved and even married women I've seen be unfaithful. I'm not including men since I've been involved with women, but men have always been worse or as bad.

Frankly, that she has feelings for him seems to signal an end. If she'd just had sex with him and didn't seem to want to be close to him in another capacity, that would be less troubling.

 

[Kvlt Wench]

Dudes I'm worried about this guy right now who might be my boyfriend. I don't want to fuck up the third relationship in a month.

 

[Captain Beard]

shake your fist and say NO YUO BE A DICK OR NO SEXINGS EVAR!

 

[El Stormo]

Dudes I'm worried about this guy right now who might be my boyfriend. I don't want to fuck up the third relationship in a month.

Eh... a little more specific, please?

 

[Kellan]

This whole situation is a big "fuck no" in my book.

 

[Kvlt Wench]

Eh... a little more specific, please?

Yeah, sorry, I was pretty drunk when I posted that.

Basically I met this guy, and we hung out for like four days in a row last week, and he's really rad, and we agreed we were going to take things somewhat slowly, since my last two relationships failed miserably and both of them basically used me for sex.

Anyway, he hasn't really been calling me, and I've been trying to hang out with him again. I sent him a message on myspace, and he replied and said that he lost his charger and his phone had died, and I really hope that isn't bullshit. But also, he broke up with his ex just like a week or two ago, but they only went out for a month, but my friend Veronica is friends with his ex, and apparently she threw a fit when she found out about Mike and me. So I'm worried that he doesn't want to see me because of her reaction.

Okay, yeah, that was a rant. But you asked.

 

[FretsAflame]

I would leave. I'm a kind of person that cannot be in something that contradicts my morals. I'm very conservative when it comes to stuff like this. I would never get myself in such situation and
I expect my partner who I trust to respect my morals and values and not to mess around.

But it's of course easy for me to comment on a situation I've never been in. You should decide what is that you want from your partner and the relationship first and then what your actions about the whole matter should be.

qft

And speaking as someone who has been in this situation, you should just ditch her and get with someone who actually gives a shit about how you'd feel about something. It may be the bitterness speaking, but would someone who truly cared how you felt even come close to a situation that would make you completely uncomfortable like this?


If you still for some reason feel like giving her a chance then it's ultimatum time. She stops, and stops seeing this guy around, or the two of you stop seeing each other. Period.

If you're already fighting a lot though fuck a second chance. Just get out, you'll be the better for it.