I am Zebedee, Lord of the Woods!

[Dark_Jester]

BOW DOWN SNAIL! I have dominion here...
Bow down to spring-boy, king of the roundabout!

 

[rahvin]

it's going to be a very long day.

 

[Dark_Jester]

It reeks of vanity.
Yes, that matches my vision.

 

[rahvin]

tell us more about your vision.
*aside* let's keep him busy until they've brought the tigers in...

 

[Dark_Jester]

Beautiful ladies
In emergency situations
Beautiful ladies are lovely
But sometimes they don't take care
They're too busy with their makeup
Or combing their lovely hair
To take basic safety precautions.

But I will protect them
I will save the pretty ones
With their smiles and their sparkling eyes,
But I'll let the ugly ones die.
I have no place for them in my new world order,
I will not waste my seed on hideous trolls.
Kill kill kill kill kill the trolls,
There shall be no clemency.

 

[JackhammerRape]

Look under the bridges!!! thats where they hide....

 

[rahvin]

there's no one else here. we're the only one having fun with this, and with "we" i probably mean "you".

and who are those beautiful ladies you would like to save from harm?

 

[Dark_Jester]

You're not having fun Rahvin? Not even a tiny bit?

 

[rahvin]

You're not having fun Rahvin? Not even a tiny bit?

it's just my mood. you should try harder. and answer my questions.

 

[JackhammerRape]

A cat cries out in the night.....

 

[Dark_Jester]

Well, the place was looking a little dead, and you DO need cheering up, so I thought, what better way than random nonsensicality?

My vision? I often dream of huge numb building, jet black sinister architecture, then remember my eyes are closed and I'm awake. I have 60/60 vision in my good eye, and 'yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar, shiver me timbers' in the other. Apart from that, my vision is fine.
And the beautiful ladies? Ask Chris De Burgh, I'm sure he knows.

 

[rahvin]

ok, first things first: let's stop ignoring jackhammer rape, who's probably been lurking on this board for three years before deciding that this thread was so totally silly he might as well write something on it himself.

jackhammer rape! welcome aboard.

 

[Dark_Jester]

Jackhammer rape is a friend of mine, I'm ignoring him because I'm Chris De Burgh, and he is not a beautiful lady.

A weasle cries out in the night!

 

[rahvin]

is this going to end like all the other times you brought a friend over and we had to kill him and feed him to the alligators? because i'm telling you, ben, it's the last time i'm letting any friend of yours in, those poor beasts are already stuffed!

 

[JackhammerRape]

Much obliged Rahvin!

You are pretty much correct on all accounts,

and yes Mr Jester de burgh ignores me, because i am not a beautiful lady.

though thinking about it.. it never stopped him before...

 

[rahvin]

though thinking about it.. it never stopped him before...

he gets unusually pickish when he's sober. but just try the pirate talk. he can't resist the pirate talk anyway.

 

[JackhammerRape]

ah, yes, the pirate talk, we've been there.

thats why he calls me the Cap'n!

 

[Child of Time]

there's no one else here. we're the only one having fun with this, and with "we" i probably mean "you".

and who are those beautiful ladies you would like to save from harm?

I'm enjoying it too!

*throws in random pirate phrases*

Aaaarr! That's a fine vessel!
Fill your bellies with rum, lads! Tomorrow we're of to Treasure Island! (Aaaarr!)

 

[rahvin]

Mr. Bones is fighting 'Black Dog'
He want to split him to the chine
'Blind Pew' the bringer of the spot
Horse-hooves trampling his spine
We have the map to start our trip
The 'Squire' has the ship and the sailors
'Long John' is the man with the grip
No one knows he will raid us

The yell of the slain
The waves on the rocks
Captain Flint's raising hell
He's calling my name
To drive me insane

Treasure Island
Where the brave fell
A one-legged devil
From the pit of hell
A greedy demon on his treasury
Cursed the island, oh, eternally

'Long John' is spreading his law
Hatching a death bringing plot
I show up in a council of war
What I heard in the barrel from this toad

The yell of the slain
The waves on the rocks
Captain Flint's raising hell
He's calling my name
To drive me insane
But I'll never return to

Treasure Island
Where the brave fell
A one-legged devil
From the pit of hell
A greedy demon on his treasury
Cursed the island, oh, eternally

We see the land, shining sand
But it can be our grave
I jump the boat, overload
Trying to be too brave
Burning sun, find 'Ben Gunn'
Assassins claim the ship
I cut the rope, I try to cope
To free it from 'Hand's' grip

Bulling row, cannon law
The jolly-boats last trip
Killing tried, stockade fight
'Silver's' villains quit
Abandonment, to 'Silver's' hand
A cunning pack is made
Trick or treat, make scoundrels
Bleed, their dullness will be paid

I stumble to the stockade
The sweat drips form my brow
No one keeps a lockout, oh no!
The rabble owns it now
'Silver' tries to shield me
The 'Black spot' comes again
He throws the map onto the ground
He plays a tricky game

Pickaxe, rope and shovel
The dead-man marks the way
No chest, no gold, no silver
2 guineas is their pay
Musket cracks like thunder
The blood is running red
'Ben Gunn' kept the treasure
From beginning to end

When we put back to the sea
'Silver's' chains are doubly tight
'Long John' and his counterfeit key
Sidle away through the night

The yell of the slain
The waves on the rocks
Captain Flint's raising hell
He's calling my name
To drive me insane
But I'll never return to

Treasure Island
Where the brave fell
A one-legged devil
From the pit of hell
A greedy demon on his treasury
Cursed the island, oh, eternally

Treasure Island
Where the brave fell
A one-legged devil
From the pit of hell
A greedy demon on his treasury
Cursed the island, oh, eternally

 

[Dark_Jester]

I can play treasure island, mwah ha ha ha