if i were a cartoon character
- Thread starter minxnim
- Start date
deadair
Overly-Cryptic Jake
goatschool
Member
i like that concept.
today i would be mr. fantastic (i was going to say plastic man, but i hated him), because i shaved and my skin is sagging off of my skull. also, my socks are black and blue.
today i would be mr. fantastic (i was going to say plastic man, but i hated him), because i shaved and my skin is sagging off of my skull. also, my socks are black and blue.
xfer
I JERK OFF TO ARCTOPUS
Baliset
guitar deity
this morning i woke to discover some blood on the bathroom floor and a dirty tampon on the sink? wtf? so i was like !!!!!!!!!!! all morning thinking my roommate's girlfriend must have gotten up in the dark and made a mess and not realized it. then my b.f. tells me she was up at 6:30 so i was like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! x 1,000,000,000 and then she wakes up and steps in cat crap and i was laughing so hard i had to bury my face in a towel in the kitchen.
p.s. she hates magic the cat and always asks us to literally put magic to sleep, so i see this as the revenge of the cat.
Russell
__
xfer
I JERK OFF TO ARCTOPUS
thankfully all girls do not leave blood trails. i do not leave blood trails.
as for magic, i remember one night she wasn't even kidding, (my roommate has had the cat for 15 years!) and she was like 'she stinks! she might be sick, put her to sleep!' and i launched into this true story about how my ex (dated 2 years) asked me to get rid of freddy before we moved in together and i dumped him and moved in with fred to NYC instead.
as for magic, i remember one night she wasn't even kidding, (my roommate has had the cat for 15 years!) and she was like 'she stinks! she might be sick, put her to sleep!' and i launched into this true story about how my ex (dated 2 years) asked me to get rid of freddy before we moved in together and i dumped him and moved in with fred to NYC instead.
Baliset
guitar deity
you don't fuck with someone's pet. last year my old roomate complained about pumpkin shitting everywhere while he was sick so pumpkin took every oppurtunity he could get to puke or shit on his bed. And every night when pumpkin would jump into bed with me i would wake up the next morning with clean covers.
i don't even get mad when magic goes to the bathroom or barfs somewhere anymore. i realize she's old and she's just sensitive. i definitely notice she does it 10 times more when my roommate's girlfriend is around. i think it's funny.
xfer
I JERK OFF TO ARCTOPUS
haha, greg, i love kitties, but if your cat shat or puked on my bed, i would lock it in your room without the litterbox every time i was home.
i used to say this on BCO all the time, and i really really can't express how strongly i mean it, i just do not trust people who are mean to, or who dont like animals. if someone is like 'well, i just hate dogs' i really don't want to be friends with that person.
xfer
I JERK OFF TO ARCTOPUS
i suppose i like dogs in theory, but i've yet to meet a dog that didn't bite me or something similar. i am keeping an open mind, though...one day! (i've also been told that i must have met some really shitty dog OWNERS, not shitty dogs, who allow their dogs to run around and do mean things)
(whoa...it posted WHILE i was typing, in mid-sentence!)
(whoa...it posted WHILE i was typing, in mid-sentence!)
FuSoYa
Lunarian
I haD a bunch of fish at my place, and they were really well behaved and lived peacefully together for months and months. There was also a frog in there and he was so cute and nice.
Anyway two of these fish were cichlids and just a couple weeks ago they grew large enough to dominate the tank, so even though I was feeding everyone in there, they ate the 2 sharks, and bit my frog on the knee which got infected and he was left upside down at the tank bottom. So then there were these 2 cichlids and this little resiliant tiger barb who had been in the tank for years, and was the last of a school of 8 that had died of disease when the tank was in the care of one Christopher Blodgett. Anyway so just the other day one of the cichlids chomped him and now he has this bloody, foamy gash on his flank and is going to die.
That was the final straw, because I loved all my fish, especially this tiger barb.
So I took the alpha cichlid and dropped him in the python tank. He flopped around a bit but the python was disinterested, so I then took the cichlid and dropped him into the toilet. Then I shat on him and flushed. HAHA.
The cichlid that remains, I think I will hook up to a car battery. Or maybe a 6-volt battery for a slower electrocution.
HATE cichlids.
Anyway two of these fish were cichlids and just a couple weeks ago they grew large enough to dominate the tank, so even though I was feeding everyone in there, they ate the 2 sharks, and bit my frog on the knee which got infected and he was left upside down at the tank bottom. So then there were these 2 cichlids and this little resiliant tiger barb who had been in the tank for years, and was the last of a school of 8 that had died of disease when the tank was in the care of one Christopher Blodgett. Anyway so just the other day one of the cichlids chomped him and now he has this bloody, foamy gash on his flank and is going to die.
That was the final straw, because I loved all my fish, especially this tiger barb.
So I took the alpha cichlid and dropped him in the python tank. He flopped around a bit but the python was disinterested, so I then took the cichlid and dropped him into the toilet. Then I shat on him and flushed. HAHA.
The cichlid that remains, I think I will hook up to a car battery. Or maybe a 6-volt battery for a slower electrocution.
HATE cichlids.
xfer
I JERK OFF TO ARCTOPUS
FuSoYa
Lunarian
VangelicSurgeon
Three Star General
I recommend a 9-volt
ps a dirty tampon in the sink? I would have put it in her shoe as a treat for later. ICK.
ps a dirty tampon in the sink? I would have put it in her shoe as a treat for later. ICK.
FuSoYa
Lunarian
yeah or microwaved it and then swung it around by the string and whacked it against her forehead.
