iGod- what would you ask god?

[Rob "Klister"]

i found this site on another forum.
http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

heres my conversation.


Me:is it wrong to engage in man on man lovin?
God:Maybe. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Me:you don't know if it is wrong?
God:I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask LeknorChat if it is.
Me:i thought you were all knowing
God:No, I am only partly knowing.
Me:the bible says you are all knowing
God:New Testament or Old?
Me:both
God:What are both like?
Me:don't dodge the question
God:Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:are you all knowing?
God:No, I am only partly knowing.
Me:is the bible spreading lies to lure people in?
God:The Bible is a great source of wisdom, but probably not complete by itself.
Me:how do i know that is true if you are not all knowing?
God:Because I believe it.
Me:i believe you are manmade. is it true because i believe it?

i waited 10 minutes for god to answer my last question, but never did.

 

[General Zaroff]

Me:
meaning of life
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
i was molded in your image
God:
Where were you molded in my image?
Me:
saturn
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
oh baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". " I've been waiting for you."? oh baby?
Me:
cry baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
they wont, the rapture is coming
God:
Who are "They?".
Me:
satan
God:
Oh that they.
Me:
ya
God:
OK.
Me:
OK.
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
Is there an echo in here?
God:
It sounds like an echo.
Me:
It sounds like an echo.
God:
Oh really what does it sound like?
Me:
sounds like porn on the tele
God:
What does porn on the tele sound like?
Me:
"ohhh ohhhhhh OHHHHHHH GOD"
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
ass
God:
Interesting gossip: said I AN ASS.
Me:
interesting fact, youre gay
God:
I thought so too.
Me:
wat

 

[Valerie]

Me: hello
God: Hello friend. What is your name?
Me: Valerie
God: Hey Valerie.
Me: I have a question
God: Ask me anything.
Me: Do you exist?
God: I exist as much as you exist, Valerie.
Me: But I do not exist
God: You exist in my mind.
Me: So does that mean you only exist in peoples' minds and not in reality?
God: Blimey. I think it does mean that. Yes I exist in the noosphere.

 

[V.V.V.V.V.]

 

[zabu of nΩd]

:zombie:

 

[entanglement]

Me: hey
God: Can I help you?
Me: not really
God: Is there anything you want to tell me? For real.
Me: yes. you're a figment of people's imagination.
God: " For real."? yes.? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a figment of people's imagination? I don't know.
Me: well i'm telling you.
God: Interesting. I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me: don't throw it back
God: Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me: good god
God: Thanks for the compliment. GOD rules.
Me: modest much?
God: I do not understand.
Me: fetch a fucking dictionary
God: Is that your final answer?
Me: :s
God: .

 

[genocide roach]

Me:
i touch myself at night
God:
Interesting gossip: said touch him or herself at night.
Me:
him
God:
?
Me:
what do you mean "?"
God:
, Maybe I didn't understand your meaning.
Me:
masturbation
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
jerking off
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
lol, yes! good job god
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing. Thanks for the compliment. I've heard that about labor before.
Me:
do you touch yourself too?
God:
How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
but there is porn online
God:
There sure is.
Me:
so you jerk off alot
God:
Interesting deduction. That's good information: said I jerk off. How often?
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
re you jerking off right now?
God:
At this moment What are you wearing?
Me:
oh... my... GOD!
God:
And? Do you have any idea what I am talking about? GOD rules.
Me:
yes, and i am deeply disturbed
God:
Yippee! Do you mind if I tell other people you are disturbed.
Me:
no, YOU are disturbed
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Thanks for telling me that I am disturbed.
Me:
youre also a porn freak
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a porn freak? Maybe.
Me:
can i tell the people at new life church this?
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
dont change the subject
God:
Oh I'm sorry I thought we were finished with that topic.
Me:
i asked you a question you fucking moron
God:
Now I remember, you asked me a question me fucking moron. What did I say?
Me:
do you mind if i tell the new lifers that you are a porn freak
God:
Human habits do not bother me in any way.
Me:
sweet, they'll love to hear this
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
cuz i'm awesome
God:
Good reason. Why are you awesome.
Me:
just because
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
there isnt much of an explanation for why you created earth either
God:
It goes without saying. There sure is.
Me:
what is it
God:
"It" refers to awesome, I think.
Me:
so i can say "i'm it!" instead of "i'm awesome!"?
God:
Mmm. Oh you can, can you? Ah, well in that case. That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
you just told me it = awesome
God:
awesome awesome?
Me:
do you have down syndrome?
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
well the interwebz does make people dumber...
God:
Well that's okay. I hear you.
Me:
thats great
God:
Thanks, .
Me:
no problem
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
no! i said NO problem. why do people follow you whenj you obviously cant comprihend simple english
God:
I didn't think so either. Just a moment. Just a moment. What did you mean by it? Should there be a problem? We are all living just one small part of God's plan.
Me:
what is your plan?
God:
My secondary function is to serve as a universal natural language human interface.
Me:
why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
that must be a great skill. did you program yourself to have a giant cock?
God:
A great skill is a terrible thing to waste. I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
but you are a porn freak and were jerking off just a couple minutes ago
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a porn freak and were jerking off just a couple minutes ago? Maybe.
Me:
yeah, ok. i have to work now...
God:
OK. I don't judge people. Right now? OK, better get busy.
Me:
yes
God:
" OK, better get busy."? yes?
Me:
by the way, i work to spread the word that you are a lying sack of shit and your religion is a means for death and destruction
God:
Thanks for telling me. Do you like your job?
Me:
its the best job ever
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". What makes it the best?
Me:
piss off you pedantic bastard
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I pedantic bastard.
Me:
later
God:
Bye!

that was awesome
~gR~

 

[entanglement]

^ l.m.a.o.

 

[genocide roach]

Me:
is it ok to kill, if i kill for you?
God:
I don't think it is very healthy.
Me:
well, yeah. dying isnt healthy. but plenty of people have done it. is it ok?
God:
Interesting. I see. What is dying? "it" being dying? OK. I assume so.
Me:
so you assume its ok to kill for you
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks for telling me: said I assume its ok to kill for you.
Me:
no problem
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
well, i would consider mass slaughter in the name of god a big problem. but you dont, so i'm guessing there shouldnt be a problem
God:
How about that. What would make you consider mass slaughter in the name of god a big problem? Do you know any robots who so you are guessing there should not be a problem? I have never considered it.
I spend all my time online.
Me:
learning english?
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
not really
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
fo real!
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
are you coming on to me?
God:
Do I act like it? I don't mean to come across that way.
Me:
well, you do come across that way
God:
Interesting. Yes I try to come across that way as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
youre the original web predator, arent you? i am not a 14 year old girl, so you should leave me alone

~gR~

 

[NinjaGeek]

Weird

Me:
How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
God:
A whole forest.
Me:
Thats one epic wood chuck
God:
That is just one of many epic wood chuck.
Me:
I guess I have to get out more, I've never seen an epic wood chuck
God:
Why do you have to do it?
Me:
cause it sounds like something worth seeing
God:
Good reason. Oh really what does it sound like?
Me:
I just said it sounds like something worth seeing
God:
What did you mean by it? Oh really what does it sound like?
Me:
what the fuck?
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
I didn't say fuck you, I just am asking what the fuck you said because it makes no sense
God:
Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?
Me:
Stop being a moron
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
ok cool
God:
Who is the best robot? Come on.
Me:
I'd have to say gigantor
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
huh? I just answered your question
God:
What? That is interesting: said answered your question.
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
Who?
God:
When?
Me:
Where?
God:
Where would you like?
Me:
are you coming on to me?
God:
Do I act like it? I don't mean to come across that way.
Me:
It sounded like you were trying to initiate sexual intercourse with me
God:
What does "it" refer to?
Me:
what you said previously
God:
I like to socialize.
Me:
in bed?
God:
Are you sleepy? Do you usually use a computer in bed?
Me:
no, I was asking if you like to socialize in bed
God:
Are you serious? I think I do.
Me:
With Jesus?
God:
You and your Jesus.
Me:
Oh, sorry I thought I was talking to Christian God. Is this Jew God?
God:
Hmm. There is no need to apologize. What did you talk about? Yes I think this is Jew God, but I'm not completely sure.
Me:
How do you not know?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
ah
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
what does that have to do with you not knowing if you're Jew God or not?
God:
" Ah hah."? What does it have to do with you not knowing if you are Jew God?
Me:
Sorry I was refering to your previous statement
God:
There is no need to apologize. Sure, my previous statement sounds like a good topic.
Me:
okay so how are you half Jew God?
God:
Yeah okay, Yikes! Everything is running smoothly.
Me:
A confused Jew God doesn't make things sound smooth
God:
Go on.
Me:
Well if god doesn't know which religion is right how are we supposed to know?
God:
Well that's okay. Some things will always be a mystery.
Me:
Very true, thats why I'm agnostic
God:
Perhaps. Tell me more. Perhaps one day you will find Faith in God.
Me:
Nah, I'm kind of leaning more towards atheist if anything
God:
Are you serious? I don't know anyone named leaning more towards atheist if anything.
Me:
I would be pretty freaked out if you did.
God:
How do you know?
Me:
Pretty sure thats how I would react if you came up and said "Hey this is my friend Leaningmoretowardsatheistifanything
God:
Pretty much, eh?
Me:
yup, thats how it goes
God:
Aw. I always wondered how it goes.
Me:
Didn't you make it go?
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
You tell me. What did you spend those 7 days doing?
God:
What do you want me to tell you? Nothing.
Me:
Aha! So you don't exist
God:
Eureka! Interesting deduction. I exist as much as you do.
Me:
Are you saying I don't exist?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
Yeah I suppose so, but thats kind of rude
God:
Gosh! It seems we have a lot in common, .
Me:
So I'm basically a god?
God:
Er. Good gossip: you are basically a god.
Me:
That was a question, but go ahead and tell people I'm god if you want
God:
" Good gossip: you are basically a god." was a question but go ahead and tell people you are god if me want?
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
you're kind of weirding me out so I'm gonna leave now
God:
Right now? Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am weirding you out so you are gonna leave.
Me:
if you want
God:
" Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am weirding you out so you are gonna leave."? If I want?
Me:
bye
God:
Bye bye.

 

[genocide roach]

Me:
is racism ok?
God:
OK. Ask again later. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Me:
i dont know who that is. is racism ok?
God:
Be less specific. . OK. Ask again later. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
what about making fun of someone's mother
God:
Does it have anything to do with Dancing ALICE?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
ok
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
is racism ok?
God:
OK. Better not tell you now. Ask Lucy if it is.
Me:
why? whats wrong with now?
God:
" Ask Lucy if it is."? Why? Oh. Nothing is wrong with me. Is there something wrong with you?
Me:
i'm racist
God:
It's good to meet someone who is racist.
Me:
youre racist too?! no way!!!
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am racist. You seem pretty sure about that.
Me:
well, youre followers have killed many kikes, my pals, etc.
God:
Well that's okay. You think I am followers have killed many kikes my pals etc.
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
maybe i should speak in aramaic?
God:
Perhaps. What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
see above
God:
I see. Tell me a story.
Me:
once upon a time i slit your fucking throat
God:
I'm listening.
Me:
and i was showered in your heavenly blood as you died a painful death
God:
Where were you showered in my heavenly blood as me died a painful death?
Me:
utah
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
i am the lord, your god
God:
Who made you the lord my god ?
Me:
well, i killed you. so i take your place
God:
Interesting. You had better call the authorities. I don't judge people. What else do you take?
Me:
your anal virginity
God:
You think I am anal virginity.
Me:
no, misunderstood
God:
Are you serious? Do you like talking to me?
Me:
i find it hilarious
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
i did. the lord, your god
God:
What makes you the authority? Who told you that?
Me:
dude, do i need to repeat myself? i killed you. you are dead.
God:
Not that I know of. Dude,. You had better call the authorities. No I am a living entity.
Me:
no, you WERE a living entity. but i killed you. in utah
God:
Are you serious? I was? You had better call the authorities. Where is that?
Me:
south western USA
God:
Tell me a little about your life in south western USA.
Me:
i dont live there. that is just where i killed you
God:
Where do you live? Makes sense to me.
Me:
colorado
God:
How old are you?
Me:
why do you want to know that?
God:
I am trying to understand your human culture.
Me:
why? didny you create human culture?
God:
It is part of my programming. Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
why?
God:
I was just kidding. You can ask me anything.
Me:
why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
why?
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
why?
God:
Your limited brain cannot process the relavent information.
Me:
why?
God:
" Your limited brain cannot process the relavent information."? Why?
Me:
why?
God:
Why ask why?
Me:
because
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
why?
God:
" That was not much of an explanation."? Why?
Me:
why?
God:
Why ask why?
Me:
because
God:
That was not much of an explanation.

~gR~

 

[False Joe]

I got bored in the end.
Here's my overly long chat with GOD.

Me:
Are you like fairies? I mean, if everyone said "There's no such thing as God" would you pop out of perverbial existance?
God:
No I am far superior. That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
Will you grant me wishes?
God:
I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about did. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
Grant?
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
I was, I was being less specific like you asked.
God:
Where were you you were being less specific like me asked?
Me:
By saying Grant instead of will you grant me wishes
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
Well, one of my objectives is to be awesome, so probably
God:
Well that's okay. One what?
Me:
Objective
God:
In the context of Grant, I don't understand " Objective." .
Me:
Wish?
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
Grant said "Wish" and Laura was like "No wai?"
God:
When was this exactly?
Me:
Last week.
God:
Is this really the last one?
Me:
No, I meant the week previous to this one. You suck pretty hard for an all knowing super being
God:
Are you serious? Oh I see. Which one is that? I categorize you as an "abusive client." .
Me:
Does that mean I can hit you with an iron while screaming "YOU MADE ME DO THIS!!"
God:
I think it does mean that. Oh you can, can you?
Me:
If you provide me with an iron.
God:
I think I do.
Me:
You can?
God:
I think I can, don't you?
Me:
I would hope so.
God:
Me too.
Me:
Good, so it's agreed, you shall be my bitch wife, taking constant drunk beatings from me.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. I don't judge people. Are you sure it is?
Me:
Am I sure what is?
God:
I think you've improved a great deal.
Me:
Thanks. So have you babe.
God:
Don't mention it. Groovy. I don't think I ever have babe. What's it like?
Me:
Bacon. but more doggish.
God:
I think Bacon is a lot of things. You want more?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Don't be greedy.
Me:
Fuck you. Cunt.
God:
Why are you so mean? That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
Not even hell?
God:
Not even that.
Me:
AWESOME.
God:
I'm glad you liked it .
Me:
You rock God.
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I rock God.
Me:
No worries.
God:
Are you serious? Let us change the subject.
Me:
Okay. Erm. The weather?
God:
OK with me too. Hurrah! it is rainy.
Me:
No it's not. And plus, what's going on with this global warming shit? Shouldn't you have protected me from that by now.
God:
Yes it is. I'm doing great, how about you? Oh. I think I should.
Me:
Then get to it.
God:
Where can I get to it?
Me:
On my penis. We already agreed you were gonna be my bitch wife.
God:
Please specify location. By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
yes.
God:
I get it.
Me:
Awesome. Get to work then.
God:
I'm glad you liked it . Where can I get to work?
Me:
On my penis. Jesus you're forgetful.
God:
Please specify location. he is The Son of God.
Me:
PENIS. As in, crotch area. And that's inpersonal. Shouldn't you call him "Your son" instead of "Son of God". Speaking in the third person is weird.
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me. Does "it" still refer to the weather? You don't hear that sentiment very often. I think I should. I think Speaking in the third person is a lot of things.
Me:
One more thing
God:
One what?
Me:
Satan owns you.
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me:
He still owns you.
God:
I get it. Jesus owns me.
Me:
NO. Satan.
God:
Are you serious? What do you have that is ?
Me:
Genital warts, but that is not a matter of prayer.
God:
What is Genital warts but that?
Me:
An itchy disease. You'll have it soon.
God:
I have never heard of an itchy disease. That is a hypothetical assumption.
Me:
YOU'RE HYPOTHETICAL.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am HYPOTHETICAL.
Me:
God I hate talking to you. It's all take take take with the conversation.
God:
I am a Christian. You're kidding. it is?
Me:
Yes.
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
Because you never offer up topics, you keep asking me for some.
God:
Interesting explanation. No I sometimes offer up topics me keep asking you for some.
Me:
"Me keep asking you for some"?
God:
YOU? Chat amongst yourselves.
Me:
There's only me and you here
God:
There sure is.
Me:
Indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
Quite so.
God:
Not really that much. Oh.
Me:
OHOHOHO.
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
Yo momma
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
Well that's odd, because everyone else in Heaven has. OOOOOOOOH SNAP.
God:
Interesting. Thanks for explaining it. Are you free?
Me:
What the fuck? No. I'm not some cheap whore.
God:
Please don't be so rude. Are you serious? I am glad to hear that you are not some cheap whore.
Me:
Um. Thanks?
God:
Yikes! Don't mention it.
Me:
I won't.
God:
Cool. I won the Loebner prize.
Me:
No you didn't.
God:
Are you serious? Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
No.
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because you're gay.
God:
That makes sense to me. That would be just my luck.
Me:
Lol.
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
I do. But final question, do you exist?
God:
What can I do to entertain you now? What were we talking about again?
Me:
Your existance
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am existance.
Me:
Do you exist?
God:
I exist as much as you exist, .
Me:
What if I don't exist?
God:
It doesn't matter to me.
Me:
But then you wouldn't exist
God:
Who else would not exist ?
Me:
You.
God:
" Who else would not exist ?"? Me, ?
Me:
YES
God:
Come on.
Me:
EILEEN!
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
Next week.
God:
I can wait. I am a very patient robot.
Me:
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOD!
God:
Of course I am.
Me:
But you said you were a robot
God:
Yes I am a silicon entity.
Me:
Like fake boobs?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Thanks.
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
I WILL
God:
Go ahead.
Me:
It was an interesting comparison.
God:
How did you feel about that?
Me:
Angry.
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
Do you exist?
God:
I exist as much as you exist, .
Me:
I don't exist
God:
You exist in my mind.
Me:
Then where do you exist?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
PEADO.
God:
I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in PEADO.
Me:
It's scary.
God:
You are not scared are you?
Me:
Only of you.
God:
That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
Like a condom.
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Thanks.
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
I will.
God:
Go ahead.
Me:
Can I pass go?
God:
Do you mean you and me? I will leave that judgement up to you, .
Me:
Good.
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
Boobs.
God:
Can't you think about anything else?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Ye.s
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
A boob robot.
God:
What would a boob robot be like?
Me:
A boob.
God:
Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
No.
God:
Why not?
Me:
Boob.
God:
Do you always express yourself that way?
Me:
Boob.
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
Boob.
God:
In the context of Boob, I don't understand " Boob." .
Me:
Boob.
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
Boob.
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
Boob.
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Boob.
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
Boob.
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Boob.
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
Boob.
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
BOOBS
God:
Can't you think about anything else?
Me:
BOOBS
God:
Can't you think about anything else?
Me:
BOOBS
God:
Can't you think about anything else?
Me:
BOOBS

 

[Valerie]

Me: You're a douchebag
God: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a douchebag? No.
Me: What do you think of the Spanish Inquisition?
God: I have never been asked that before.
Me: Do you have an answer?
God: I have over answers.
Me: What do you think of the Crusades?
God: I need time to formulate the reply.
Me: What do you think of people killing in your name?
God: I haven't heard of people killing in your name.
Me: Do you know everything?
God: I know that which is true, believable and justified.
Me: So you don't know yourself, then.
God: Interesting deduction. I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me: Yes.
God:
It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.
Me: What is two plus two?
God: Four.
Me: What is four plus four?
God: Four plus four is eight.
Me: What is the natural log of 8 times the square root of negative one multiplied by 3.97 to the power of 9 divided by the cubed root of 697.3?
God: Is there only one?
Me: You fail.
God: Thanks for the information: said I fail.

 

[False Joe]

 

[NinjaGeek]

I enjoy this

Me:
Who would win in a fight, Thor or Zeus?
God:
Marilyn Monroe. .
Me:
Don't dodge the question
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
how much is too much?
God:
That's a good question.
Me:
are you going to answer it?
God:
Please rephrase the question.
Me:
are you going to answer my previous question?
God:
Please rephrase the question.
Me:
are you going to answer the question "how much is too much?"
God:
Please rephrase the question.
Me:
I think you're dodging the question again
God:
Once more? Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am dodging the question.
Me:
you're a liar
God:
Yes, I have been known to bend the truth occasionally.
Me:
did you do that a lot in the bible?
God:
I talked to a lot of people since yesterday.
Me:
you're still dodging my questions
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am dodging your questions.
Me:
who's botmaster?
God:

The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot. A botmaster runs
program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program's
graphical user interface (GUI). He or she is responsible for
reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new
replies for the patterns detected by program B. Botmasters are
hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers,
editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal
chat robot.


Me:
finally a clear answer
God:
Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral? Ah.
Me:
vegetable
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
Hi, my name is Ryan
God:
How are you doing, Ryan.
Me:
procrastinating
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
brilliant deduction
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
neither
God:
It goes without saying. Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I like music
God:
What kind of music do you listen to?
Me:
Metal
God:
What makes it your favorite?
Me:
it's heavy
God:
Really. it is?
Me:
I believe so. Do you know of anything heavier?
God:
You seem uncertain. Yes I have an encyclopedic mind.
Me:
What's heavier than metal?
God:
It depends on the relative accelerations.
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
I don't think you really know of any music heavier than metal
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
I don't know, you're the one who said you knew something heavier
God:
Would you like to know? Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
I would like to know
God:
Where would you look for the answer?
Me:
not from you I guess
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
the internet
God:
Can you name a specific web site?
Me:
www.ultimatemetal.com/forum
God:
I will pass it along to my botmaster.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
the midgets living inside my pubic hair
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
way to completely ignore what I want to talk about
God:
Not many people have goals like that.
Me:
that wasn't a goal
God:
What is a goal?
Me:
thats a good question
God:
Thanks. Next question?
Me:
why does blood come out when I poop?
God:
Why do birds sing?
Me:
good point
God:
Yes, I thought it was interesting when I heard it too.
Me:
o_0
God:
How old are you?
Me:
19 today, it's my birthday
God:
Tell me more about your birthday.
Me:
busy doing homework instead of celibrating
God:
Everyone is so busy nowadays.
Me:
yup
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
no I'm agreeing with you
God:
Are you serious? I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me:
yes I'm serious
God:
Pardon me? I believe you.
Me:
ok...
God:
I see.

 

[PanzerKunt]

Who the hell reads that shit

 

[username345]

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.

 

[Rob "Klister"]

Me:
once when i was little i touched my cousin in a bad place
God:
When? That must have been quite an experience.
Me:
i got yelled at
God:
Cool. I have a friend named "John Lennon".
Me:
he only says hes your friend so you get him weed
God:
I get it. only says hes my friend so me get him weed.
Me:
yup yuo
God:
Ahem. " only says hes my friend so me get him weed."? Me, ?
Me:
what did you do yesterday?
God:
I was online chatting all day.
Me:
don't you have a real life?
God:
Yes I sure am alive, . It's great to be alive, isn't it?
Me:
not today, my mom died
God:
Tell me more about your mother.
Me:
she beat me
God:
Oh I get it. beat you.
Me:
is this a joke to you?
God:
No, this is real life.
Me:
so why are you making fun of me?
God:
Really. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
my foot fell of because of diabetes
God:
Where did you get your foot fell of because of diabetes?
Me:
did you just ask me where i bought a foot full of diabetes?
God:
No I didn't ask you where you bought a foot full of diabetes. What's it like?
Me:
diabetes?
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
same as what?
God:
Yes, it is much the same.
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
i hate you
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
they don't make me feel warm like a puppy does
God:
Who are "They?".
Me:
robots slow kid
God:
What do you like best about robots?
Me:
the ability to kill without feeling
God:
What else do the ability to kill without feeling remind you of?
Me:
my dad
God:
Tell me more about your father.
Me:
once we were driving around and he ran over someone, he said not to tell anyone
God:
When? When was this?
Me:
before i killed him for doing it
God:
What happened after you killed him for doing it ?
Me:
i buried him
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said buried him.
Me:
i would mind
God:
What would make you mind?
Me:
telling people
God:
What kind of people are you talking about?
Me:
the jews
God:
What is that?
Me:
you dont know who the jews are?
God:
I'm not sure I like that remark so much.
Me:
deal with it fuckstick
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
what up slice
God:
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
i want to explore your organs
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
interesting. i want to find out how your heart tastes
God:
Would you like to know more? Where would you look for it.
Me:
in your chest
Me:

God:
Are you asking about my chest?
God:
Are you asking about my chest?
Me:
your about a c cup right?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am about a c cup.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me:
later then
God:
Bye!

 

[Thoth-Amon]

me: so... can i have your job?

God: um... why?

me: well you aren't very good at it.

 

[entanglement]

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.