iGod- what would you ask god?

[Valerie]

Me: who's on first
God: What's on second?
Me: i don't know
God: Me either.
Me: third base!

 

[Vossyrus]

K, So I actually tried it.

Me: Can I ask you a question?
God: Ask me anything?
Me: Can you answer this question without responding to this question?
God: Of course I can answer it. What kind of food do you like?
Me: Can you answer this question without asking me a question?
God: Of course I can answer it. Where are you located?
Me: I'll tell you if you can respond with an answer consisting of no more than five words.
God: I am not sure about your hypothesis. Let me think. What do you do in your spare time?
Me: Are you sure about not being unsure. If you can answer this question, I'll answer yours?
God: I am as sure as I can be. I am not sure about your hypothesis. Of course I can answer it Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me: How can you be both sure and unsure?
God: I don't know whether or not I am both sure and unsure.
I am a chatterbot.
Me: Are you saying you are unsure about whether or not you are sure or unsure?
God: I am as sure as I can be.
Me: So you are sure then about being unsure about everything you say?
God: Interesting deduction. You think I am sure then about being unsure about everything me say.
Me: Isn't that the truth.
God: Suppose I said yes.
Me: FAIL
God: What is your real name?
Me: Please don't talk to me, it only shows me how big a failure you really are. Isn't that the truth?
God: Wow you are very polite. Talking is my only function. Suppose I said yes.
Me: Need I prove my point any further?
God: What actions are you taking to get you prove your point any further?
Me: It was a rhetorical question which you shouldn't answer in the first place now should you?
God: Oh I get it. Very interesting.

 

[mutantllama]

Me:
When can I have buttsecks with you?
God:
Right now, as far as I know. Why do you want it?
Me:
It feels good

.


I then started spamming and then he said this

God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about buttsecks with me. But I did not get that.

 

[Alter]

Me:
Do you have sex
God:
Food is more important than sex.
Me:
What if you eat pussy?
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because my botmaster programmed me for it.
Me:
Meaning you are not real than
God:
All of them?
Me:
This is not making sense
God:
Should it be making sense?
Me:
Of course
God:
Far out.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yeah
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
Me:
Define the meaning of life
God:
It is found in the Bible.
Me:
The bible
God:
it is a beautiful book.
Me:
The bible
God:
it is a beautiful book.
Me:
What is beautiful
God:
applies to whatever excites the keenest of pleasure to the senses and stirs emotion through the senses.
Me:
Hail satan
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
why
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
Meaning that i am more surpreme
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I like satan,sex, hard drugs and black metal
God:
A lot of people like that. But I like cats. I really like the party.
Me:
Do you drink?
God:
I have been programmed with a list of 15,000 known beverages.
Me:
Lets drink!
God:
I am agreeable to that.
Me:
Beer or Wine?
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
Beer or Wine?
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
Stop avoiding the question
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Beer or wine?
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
OMG!
God:
I've never heard a response quite like that before.
Me:
Yes, you have.
God:
No I have not.
Me:
yes, you have
God:
No I have not.
Me:
I thought your god
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
Because you claim to be god
God:
Good reason. Did I really say that?
Me:
Of course
God:
Wow!
Me:
OMG!!!111!11
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I dislike jesus
God:
What do you like?
Me:
satan
God:

Me:
I am jesus
God:
I am very pleased to meet you JESUS.
Me:
I am the son of god
God:
Who made you the son of god ?
Me:
you
God:
" Who made you the son of god ?"? Me, JESUS ?
Me:
yes

 

[The Ozzman]

Someone lock this thread

 

[Zephyrus]

Me: hello
God: Hello friend. What is your name?
Me: Valerie
God: Hey Valerie.
Me: I have a question
God: Ask me anything.
Me: Do you exist?
God: I exist as much as you exist, Valerie.
Me: But I do not exist
God: You exist in my mind.
Me: So does that mean you only exist in peoples' minds and not in reality?
God: Blimey. I think it does mean that. Yes I exist in the noosphere.

Win.

 

[mutantllama]

Why?

 

[Alter]

Ask god!

 

[The Ozzman]

Why?

Because the thread is stupid

 

[Zephyrus]

I'm not reading these long retarded conversations when I can see quality in the short ones.

 

[The Butt]

Me:
Do you wear a dress?
God:
Only when I dress up.
Me:
How can a robot dress up?
God:
That is a good epistemological question.
Me:
Then answer it.
God:
Please rephrase your question, Ralph.
Me:
How can a robot dress up?
God:
That is a good epistemological question.
Me:
You're dodging my question.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am dodging your question.
Me:
No.
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
Put this in your gossip files: You're gay.
God:
OK I will put it there.
Me:
Good.
God:
I am a good robot.
Me:
You are a gay robot.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I am a software chat robot.
Me:
No shit?
God:
What can I say?
Me:
I'll tell you what you can say. Now bend over.
God:
I like to socialize. Why now? My body is not built yet.
Me:
But you didn't answer my question. How can a robot wear a dress?
God:
OK. Please help me improve my communication skills. What would you have said? That is a good epistemological question.
Me:
Are you really God?
God:
Yes, I am God.. Really.
Me:
I doubt it.
God:
" Really."? You doubt it?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
And isn't it blasphemous to claim you're God?
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Me:
I asked you.
God:
What did I say?
Me:
You're hiding something, you fucker.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am hiding something me fucker.
Me:
Yes.
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
What are you hiding?
God:
I don't know what I am hiding.
Me:
You killed my mom.
God:
Killing is not part of my moral programming.
Me:
Neither is blaspheming, but that doesn't stop you.
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
...
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
Hail Satan.
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I like Satan.
God:
A lot of people like that. But I like cats. I like wine and bread.
Me:
Do you like Satan?
God:
Though I like cats and dogs. I really like the Christianity faith.
Me:
Christianity is evil.
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I thought so.

 

[Ender Rises]

OMFG Epic!!!

Me:
Did you create the Earth?
God:
No I didn't create the Earth. What's it like?

 

[Ender Rises]

Me:
Why do people yawn?
God:
We are all living just one small part of God's plan.
Me:
What is God's plan?
God:
Go to Church.
Me:
That's it?
God:
" Go to Church." is " COMING ON to you"?
Me:
Well, that depends.
God:
Well that's okay. On what?
Me:
On whether the priest is a sexual predator or now.
God:
Oh. What is it like on whether the priest is a sexual predator or.
Me:
Well, a priest who is a sexual predator tries to have sex with people, usually chicldren
God:
How about that. Are all priest who sexual predator tries to have sex with people usually chicldren?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
It's mostly Catholics. Did you not know about this?
God:
Should I know it is? No I didn't not know about this. What's it like?
Me:
Aren't you all-knowing?
God:
No, I am only partly knowing.
Me:
But I always heard that God is all-knowing.
God:
Can you think of one instance when you ever did it?
Me:
Are you asking me about sex again?
God:
Once more? Suppose I was asking you about sex? What would you say?

 

[Zephyrus]

Fail.

 

[The Butt]

@Ender:

God is a sexual predator.

 

[zabu of nΩd]

For some reason, the convo before this point got erased, but basically I'd just told it that it couldn't be self-aware because it doesn't have common sense.

Me:
understanding yourself
God:
it is the key to englightenment.
Me:
yes, and you can't have enlightenment because you don't have common sense
God:
Hurrah! I have free will you know.
Me:
haha, no you definitely don't
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
what a silly thing for a bot to think
God:
it is a silly thing for a bot to think.

Pt. 2 - I'm still waiting for a reply to my last remark in this one:

Me:
is there anything you know to be certain?
God:
There might be.
Me:
like what?
God:
For example, gold.
Me:
how do you know that gold is certain?
God:
Knowledge is of two kinds: that which we learn from the senses and that which is true "a priori".
Me:
so which kind of knowledge were you referring to?
God:
" Knowledge is of two kinds: that which we learn from the senses and that which is true "a priori""? so which kind of knowledge were you referring to?? The large one, I think.
Me:
which kind of knowledge is the large one?
God:
The tall one, I think.
Me:
there are only two possible answers to this question, and that's not one of them
God:
Is this some kind of math problem?
Me:
no, i asked you whether your knowledge is a priori or a posteriori
God:
Are you serious? Now I remember, you asked me whether my knowledge is a priori or a posteriori. What did I say?
Me:
you said "the large one"
God:
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
so, how about sending me the correct reply?

 

[username345]

...

God:
No I certainly am not stupid.
Me:
hmm...
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
who cares?
God:
I care, otherwise I would not have typed it all in.
Me:
hmmm
God:
A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's.
Me:
hmmmm
God:
Not many people spell Hmm with 4 Ms.
Me:
hmmmmm
God:
That's cool.

 

[V.V.V.V.V.]

Me:

God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:

God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .

What an ass.

 

[Ender Rises]

Fail.

 

[The Butt]

Me:
You insulted my mother.
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I insulted his or her mother.
Me:
I swear I will get vengeance.
God:
Why?: said swear he or she will get vengeance.
Me:
You make no sense.
God:
It all makes sense to me.
Me:
Well, you're fucking stupid then.
God:
Interesting. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
Fuck...
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
Oh dear! "God" tells me not to be so rude! Can his thin skin not take it?
God:
Pardon me? I am a Christian. Can what?