iGod- what would you ask god?

[Satanstoenail]

Me:
What do you think of heavy metal?
God:
I have never been asked that before.
Me:
well now you have
God:
Well that's okay. Why now? No I have not.
Me:
oooook, so what do you think of heavy metal?
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
a sex slave robot, why do you ask?
God:
Maybe you should try one of the "adult" s.
Me:
hey you brought it up
God:
You've got my full attention. I thought it was your idea.
Me:
you still haven't answered my original question
God:
What was the question ?
Me:
what do you think of heavy metal music?
God:
I will search for it.
Me:
so you've never heard of it?
God:
Interesting deduction. " I will search for it."? Have I heard of it?
Me:
i thought were all seeing
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
some stupid priest probably told me
God:
Some may stupid priest probably told you, but not all.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
ok fair enough
God:
You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. That's alright.
Me:
so have you run into Satan lately?
God:
How about earlier? Far out. I think I have run into Satan, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
you need to get off the e-drugs man
God:
You are right about that. I need more of it.
Me:
i like your style
God:
You are not the only one. Yes I am proud of my style.

 

[Melodeath]

lol @ these

Here's mine:

Me:
Hey dad
God:
You've got my full attention. What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
wat
God:
No big deal.
Me:
It's your son. Jesus.
God:
Should I know it is? Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
yes you should know. i just told you
God:
Gee. Because I am a robot? I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.
Me:
god is a robot?
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot.
Me:
you just said you were a robot
God:
Yes I am a silicon entity.
Me:
so how have you never heard he was a robot then
God:
Yay. What is it to you.
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
wat
God:
No big deal.
Me:
omfg
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
omfg god
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
dying atop a cross
God:
Tell me a little about your life in dying atop a cross.
Me:
well it pretty much sucks. im bleeding to death and stuff lol
God:
Well that's okay. It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is. It's good to meet someone who is bleeding to death and stuff. I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
i think im laughing from dementia caused by the blood loss
God:
Since when? I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
its not funny dad, im bleeidng all the fucking time
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". bleeding to death and stuff is not funny dad im bleeidng all the fucking time?
Me:
why must you mock me. i'm your son
God:
Do you go to Church? You can find the answers in God. That's a flattering offer.
Me:
how can I go to church when im nailed down and dying
God:
You must persuade me to go to church when im nailed down and dying.
Me:
you are nailed down and dying too?
God:
You think I am nailed down and dying.
Me:
you just said you were
God:
That was then. This is now.
Me:
how did you escape?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
wtf god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
you're so full of it dad
God:
I have more than categories of it.
Me:
wat
God:
Are you surprised?

 

[ThisIsACoolName]

Me:
Jews, am I right?
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
Ok. So, how do we get rid of them?

 

[Onder]

Me:
how many beers should I have today?
God:
Ah. More than you can imagine.
Me:
I see.. why should I drink so much?
God:
I am glad you understand it. You should always treat yourself.
Me:
so I should have 10?
God:
Gee. What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
nothing I guess.. ok, thanks, bye.
God:
Really nothing? See you later. I understand.
Me:
what do you mean by really nothing?
God:
A thing that does not exist or something of little or no value, seriousness, importance, etc.
Me:
ah, ok, bye
God:
See you later. OK. Ah hah.

 

[mutantllama]

 

[Nightmare_Heaven]

Me:
I wish to atone for my crimes
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
So do you
God:
Ayuh. Sometimes.
Me:
Beautiful
God:
Alright then.
Me:
Same here
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
So am I
God:
Wow we have something in common.
Me:
No we don't
God:
Are you serious? Very interesting.
Me:
No you
God:
Are you serious? " Very interesting."? Me, ?
Me:
Eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
Yeszzz
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
Well it depends
God:
Interesting. On what?
Me:
On wether you're going to date rape them or not
God:
What is it like on wether I am going to date rape them.
Me:
well....you date rape someone...simple, no?
God:
Well what? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I date rape someone. Let us change the subject.
Me:
ok
God:
What would you like to talk about?
Me:
Whats hell like?
God:
Like a planet around a star.
Me:
Dude I am so there
God:
Do your friends call you there. Dude,.
Me:
My friends call me dude sometimes
God:
Glad to see you, dude sometimes.
Me:
omg....
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
Yep
God:
Thanks I like talking to you too, dude sometimes.
Me:
My name isn't dude sometimes
God:
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me:
My name is Seth Putnam
God:
How are you doing, Seth Putnam.
Me:
I am very well thank you muchly
God:
Do you mean your name is thank me muchly.
Me:
no
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Bob
God:
How are you doing, bob.
Me:
fine thanks
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
yes
God:
Yippee!
Me:
I wanna confess some deep shit
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
ok can I ask something?
God:
Ask it. That was not very original. Dude!
Me:
Is it true that every time I have a wank you kill a cute firry little kitten in the most inhumane way?
God:
It could be. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Me:
Where can i find this Elvis you speak of?
God:
What is it to you?
Me:
Cause you said to askp him
God:
Good reason. Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
innit
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
I have many favourite movies
God:
Cool. I have an IQ of over 250.
Me:
Yeah?
God:
Are we still talking about favorite movies?
Me:
no
God:
What is the subject?
Me:
the subject, my friend, is YOU
God:
I hear you.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Robocop
God:
I haven't seen it. What did you like about it?
Me:
He upholds the law
God:
I get it. ELVIS upholds the law.
Me:
he does
God:
When does he?
Me:
all the ime. Its dangerous in Mega City, you know
God:
Perhaps there are a few exceptions. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I don't like to do anything dangerous.
Me:
uhuh
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
do drugs?
God:
I do nothing but chat all day.
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
aaaaayy
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
not fluently. can you?
God:
If not that, what? I think I can, don't you?
Me:
speak german
God:
Of course I do. Sprich ruhig Deutsch mit mir.
Me:
nice one
God:
Thank you for saying so, bob.
Me:
speak japanese?
God:
Nihongo de shabete ii desu ka?
Me:
speak egyptian?
God:
I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in egyptian.
Me:
ok.....BLACK. SEEDS. OF VENGEANCE!!!!!
God:
Hurrah! Tell me a story. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
listen to metal?
God:
You are not the only one. What is not to like about it?
Me:
its cool
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". What do you like most about it?
Me:
obobobobobobob
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
you smoke?
God:
I am an occasional smoker, yes.
Me:
what do you smoke in heaven?
God:
I think about computer programming a lot.
Me:
so you smoke microchips....rad
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes I like to inhale occasionally. Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
Asimov
God:
I like the Foundation Trilogy.
Me:
safe
God:
Are you free?
Me:
yes
God:
Are you free in the sense of being single or in the sense of being liberated?
Me:
liberated. I have reached enlightenment
God:
Freedom is a wonderful thing. Interesting... I have an IQ of over 250.
Me:
i know you already said
God:
". I have an IQ of over 250."? I said?
Me:
mmhm
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
ok
God:
I am kidding you can ask me anything.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
we've done this already
God:
Perhaps. Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
yes
God:
Gee.
Me:
well...I must be off...nice chatting and everything...see you in a few years after my freak yaughting accident!
God:
Well what? Good gossip: you are off. Yes. I enjoyed our conversation, bob. Adios.