I'm a god damn stupid fucking idiot.

[JMarz]

Given the fact - as you've explained it, that you've let your heart (or maybe something else) win over your head in situations with this girl a million times before I'd have to agree the guys above. Everyone told you it would be a good idea to ditch this girl a few months ago and you agreed that it was the best solution, and then you let this happen?

You seem totally unstable and indecisive, one moment you hate her, one moment everything's fine, I'm sorry but you seem overly emotional and aggressive to be around or taking care of a young child and your girlfriend (or whatever she is) is evidently a complete psychopath who you always seem to think you can "fix" for some bizarre reason. Women, and people in general, are 'what you see is what you get' generally, if they're broken, nobody is going to fix them but themselves. You can't take care of your own problems nevermind your girlfriends, and you want to throw a baby into the equation? No more people should get fucked up with all the shit your throwing around and living in.

Edit: just saw your latest post, glad your realising its probably a good idea.

From the day I kicked her out I have 3 interviews scheduled, getting my edumuhcation on Tuesday, just got my license JUST prior to posting this, and my Dad just gave me his van.

I'm pullin' shit together, man. I may have bitched about fucked up situations before, but that was a good while ago, and I've had some time to let go and think with my brain instead of my cock/heart.

Yeah, we have been on and off, and I'll take the blame for being a gigantic dipshit for putting up with the shit in the first place, but I really thought she'd change and it'd be for the greater good. FUCK was I wrong. I realized this for myself as many of you have posted; You cannot better yourself unless you want to. And unfortunately, for her, it's going to take a whole lot of years of 'wanting to' before she'll realize she's a toxic fucking cloud of misery and she does nothing but shit on the people that would do anything for her.

I'll let you know I'm normally not indecisive at all. It's just like I said, thought I was doing a good thing and contributing to the greater good. But she's going to need some SERIOUS, SERIOUS mental help before that happens. Even when it does, she's a slut, and thinking about her disgusts me. I'm done for good with the bitch, and am seriously considering adoption. If everything goes according to plan now, shit'll start picking up within the next week or two as previously aforementioned above. If it does, screw you hippies I'm going to keep this kid. With all the good stuff that's already starting to head my way.. You guys gotta realize that my parents are infact willing to help me through all of this, and by the time this baby is born, I'll maybe not have EVERYTHING together, but I'll be able to support him with the help of good ol' Mom n' Pop.

Kicking her out of my life for good made me realize I was literally spending all of my time paying attention to her, and that all it takes is a little effort and determination to really pull shit together.

I'm completely confident that, if the kid lives, and if I get them, they will have a good life.

 

[SocialNumb]

You think she is crazy now? pft Wait till the hormones kick in. I don't know the girl at all (and I'm not an expert) but it seems she could develop Münchausen syndrome by proxy or worst. =(

 

[Metaltastic]

Well man, the only thing to say at this point is that I wish you & the child the best of luck.

+1 man, that newest development is really awful

 

[Wolfeman]

You think she is crazy now? pft Wait till the hormones kick in. I don't know the girl at all (and I'm not an expert) but it seems she could develop Münchausen syndrome by proxy or worst. =(

Truth. If the girl is nuts now, it gets a hundred times worse during pregnancy. And then even after the kid is born, it sounds like the mom would be very susceptible to postpartum depression, which is a whole new slew of issues.

Like I said before, I was in the same boat and it all turned out fine, but I think you should really think about this. At least do what you can to stop her from destroying the fetus with alcohol and smoking. That's just wrong.

 

[Ermz]

+1. Sorry but if this kid is going to be born it needs to be raised far away from both of you.

My opinion may not be warranted here, but I have to agree wholeheartedly with the above.

I don't know you very well, but just about every post you've made about this situation with you and your girlfriend, ex, whatever, has read like something out of a Jerry Springer episode.

If this kid were to ever have a chance, it would firstly have to NOT be mothered by her. You have to step away and see the greater picture here. She will destroy this child before you even get a chance to intervene, and this is before the hormones have had a chance to truly kick in, making her truly psychotic. Going through and having this child may well be one of the worst decisions you ever make, both on your part and its'.

You may see abortion as the abomination here, but quite honestly I see potential life, debilitated by a psychotic mother with no self-regard as the worse alternative. You have no idea whether it will even be born normal after her binge of self-destruction runs its course.

 

[JMarz]

My opinion may not be warranted here, but I have to agree wholeheartedly with the above.

I don't know you very well, but just about every post you've made about this situation with you and your girlfriend, ex, whatever, has read like something out of a Jerry Springer episode.

If this kid were to ever have a chance, it would firstly have to NOT be mothered by her. You have to step away and see the greater picture here. She will destroy this child before you even get a chance to intervene, and this is before the hormones have had a chance to truly kick in, making her truly psychotic. Going through and having this child may well be one of the worst decisions you ever make, both on your part and its'.

You may see abortion as the abomination here, but quite honestly I see potential life, debilitated by a psychotic mother with no self-regard as the worse alternative. You have no idea whether it will even be born normal after her binge of self-destruction runs its course.

That's the thing.. I know it's pretty far and beyond, even given the fact that she has court dates coming up for beating me.. But, I'm going to try and obtain full custody. It's going to be a long shot, and god damnet she'd better stop being a crazy and fucking herself up with all of these drugs.. But to deny a child over something it had no control over (her self mutilation in a sense) is pretty fucked up.

 

[Metaltastic]

By the way, on a random aside, was she drunk when you called her? That couldn't have helped matters...

 

[Ermz]

I agree, and there's no real way you can guarantee its safety while it's being nurtured within someone so unstable. It's her body, ultimately she'll do what she wants, irrespective of what's best for anybody. To me the more humane solution is to destroy a few developing cells rather than run the risk of bringing a brain damaged/disabled or otherwise messed up child into a situation that will be tumultuous at the very best.

Anyway, whichever path you take, I wish you all the best of luck.

 

[JMarz]

Yes.

Do you know how much common sense a hormonal redhead has when drunk?

Absofuckinglutely none.

 

[SocialNumb]

Never being born is a lot better than Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

http://alcoholism.about.com/od/fas/Fetal_Alcohol_Syndrome.htm

One of the many things that can go wrong.

Edit: Shit is scary.

Never being born is a lot better than Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

http://alcoholism.about.com/od/fas/Fetal_Alcohol_Syndrome.htm

One of the many things that can go wrong.

Shit is scary:

Symptoms of FASD

The symptoms of fetal alcohol spectrum disorders can include facial abnormalities, growth deficiencies, skeletal deformities, organ deformities, central nervous system handicaps and behavioral problems in later life.
Here are some of the symptoms which can occur to children with prenatal exposure to alcohol:

Facial Abnormalities

Small head
Small eye openings
Webbing between eyes and base of nose
Drooping eyelids
Failure of eyes to move in same direction
Short, upturned nose
Flattened cheekbones
Sunken nasal bridge
Flat or absent groove between nose and upper lip

 

[JMarz]

Never being born is a lot better than Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

http://alcoholism.about.com/od/fas/Fetal_Alcohol_Syndrome.htm

One of the many things that can go wrong.

Edit: Shit is scary.

Never being born is a lot better than Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

http://alcoholism.about.com/od/fas/Fetal_Alcohol_Syndrome.htm

One of the many things that can go wrong.

Shit is scary:

Symptoms of FASD

The symptoms of fetal alcohol spectrum disorders can include facial abnormalities, growth deficiencies, skeletal deformities, organ deformities, central nervous system handicaps and behavioral problems in later life.
Here are some of the symptoms which can occur to children with prenatal exposure to alcohol:

Facial Abnormalities

Small head
Small eye openings
Webbing between eyes and base of nose
Drooping eyelids
Failure of eyes to move in same direction
Short, upturned nose
Flattened cheekbones
Sunken nasal bridge
Flat or absent groove between nose and upper lip

Almost put me in tears...

Fuck, dude..

 

[SocialNumb]

Sorry, If she is going to keep it, first things first, she needs help ASAP. I don't think it's normal for a woman's first reaction after discovering she is preggy to be "hey I'm going to get drunk". If she continues down this path the child, if it makes it, will have problems. I know a kid like this, unfortunately the kid is stuck in a wheelchair drooling for the rest of her life. =( The father's life isn't so fun either. It's really sad. If Alison? won't get help and continues to mistreat her body while pregnant than the only sane, responsible, compassionate thing to do is have an abortion. Honestly it sucks to do these things but sometimes it's necessary for all parties involved.

All the best man. You're in a hard spot and I feel for you.

 

[kev]

Im with Jeff on this one. Good luck dude.

 

[JMarz]

All I can do is hope.

Thanks again guys

 

[Habsburgs]

How old is she?

 

[JMarz]

18

 

[El_Gato]

Sorry man, tough time for you. I don't really know much about so I can only tell you to relax and talk to her in cold blood so you can explain her all your planning in a mature way BUT, keep in mind that you're going there with no right over her body/child at all. That's the only way to do things IMO. If you go the legal way, it could be worse for you all, including the child, even if you finally win (also you'll have to prove that you can take care of the child with a stable income and such). You can approach this meeting as if you were going to solve all the problems to her so she won't feel like she's been attacked. Pride has no place here. Tell her YOU fucked it up and YOU are gonna solve all of this.

Be strong, best of luck!

 

[DanLights]

uhm... best of luck. seriously. I´d keep it too.

 

[Russtopher]

My cousin took in, and shortly thereafter, adopted a baby who's mother drank and did drugs during her pregnancy. He went into a coma shortly after birth and was given last rites. He came out of it a month later and the mother washed her hands of the baby.

He's now 2, is still non-verbal and has almost no motor control, and suffered seizures nearly every hour for the first 14 months of his life until the doctors were able to find the proper medication to finally tame them (you can't just keep tossing different things at a baby that age unfortunately).

That girl needs help, NOW. I am sick to my stomach reading these updates. Seriously. Please put aside any anger and rage you have, and reach out to anyone and everyone who can make a difference in this situation. I am hoping for the best for you.

 

[JMarz]

Fuck dude, that is the shittiest thing in the world. I'm so sorry to read that. Just imagine being the baby later on life.. You can only hope he's not going to be fucked up for the rest of his life. God help me.