Inspired

[Ryan M.]

-[Night of Discontent]-

Sorrow comes gliding down
Wearing her scarlet gown
In the moonlight
In the dead night
Skeletal fingers reaching out
Her tears of pain
Her tears of doubt
Her fiery eyes of discontent
Sorrowful is her midnight descent
From the shadows of the darkest hour
Swooping down from the clock tower

Candlelit gloom
So close to doom
Locked inside this haunted room
The ruins of my broken heart
They try to recreate a work of art
But I fall down
Face to face with sorrow in her scarlet gown
I see her face of tears
Torn down by such sorrowful years
I am all alone.
Lost in this zone
Wearing down to the bone

I scream for help
I scream for you
My only fear is that...
my fate is true
Is there something I should do?

Sorrow comes gliding down
Wearing her scarlet gown
In the moonlight
In the dead night
Skeletal fingers reaching out
Her tears of pain
Her tears of doubt
Her fiery eyes of discontent
Sorrowful is her midnight descent
From the shadows of the darkest hour
Swooping down from the clock tower

 

[Ryan M.]

... any opinions? lol.

 

[Aletheus]

Dude I'm gonna be honest with you. I can barely read the lyrics even with a good song playing in the background, don't take it personal, but that's a whole shitload of letters I do not want in my thoughts right now Sorry mate, but I think that may be the reason others aren't commenting.

But I did reply, so yeah, good luck

 

[prometheus7]

Not bad. I think the formatting might have messed up the flow, and that threw me off.

 

[Ryan M.]

kk. Reformated... a bit... um... lol. Still don't have the sections. I have a few more.. but they are far too long. FAR too long. They are in a better format though. the MoS format.

 

[Aletheus]

Adiastasia -- the first one

 

[Craigsnedeker]

Wow great song! Reading it, I can imangine music playing out with signing to the lyrics

what does it mean?

 

[Ryan M.]

It's about a person who is alone and discontent with his life and what he has made it. Sorrow was made into a character. A woman with a scarlet gown lol. Sorrow is coming to make him consumed in his disconnectedness... and so they will become one. He will become sorrowful. He must fight against it. kind of weird. i know.

 

[Ryan M.]

Off topic @Ryan:
I am to weak-eyed to decipher
What are the band logos in your signature on the right hand side, second and third from top? Thanks for enlightening

from the bottom up....

balance of power, disciple, and adiastasia.

 

[Craigsnedeker]

Not a bad story line but I think you need something at the end, like the person being saved ya know?

 

[Ryan M.]

Yes. It actually belongs to a series and later on in the series it gets lighter and stuff. So this is an unfinished thing by itself. lol.

 

[Craigsnedeker]

oh ok

 

[OKThankYou]

ryan your lirycs are very good, a lot better than me lol i just start trying to write poems or lirycs 4 weeks ago but so far they need a lot of work lol. i wrote one about a warior called THE MAN KEVIN that is better than my others, my uncle said it is good but i don’t like it all but at least i had a twist ending i think that is very important, a twist ending. i guess ill post it lol but like i said please dont be mean im just starting out, ryans is a lot better but maybe ill catch up lol.


THE MAN KEVIN

He is so strong and braver than a lot
I cannot believe it, he great
So many strength in one man, you never see before
In the black forest of creepy death he ride
So many man never come back alive
Always he will be without some bride?
Just look at his handsome, open your eye
Oh no, here come a monster from the sky
Kevin his name, he will make it now cry
Ever and ever, his fire make it fry
And here come another, it fly so high
No monster beat Kevin, he never die
Dead monsters he make into a meat pie
I wonder if you wonder why?
Can he be tamed, he roar like a lion
A woman she miss him so she always crying
Night come and she is a fraid he is dying
The wind is real strong
Big trees in the forest come to life and look mean
Everywhere something like I never seen
Like in the lord of a Rings
I don’t know if this might be his defeat
Even Kevin has a doubt in his speak
Very scary tree men, he think he might get beat
Everywhere he look, a tree man in the dark
It alsso is raining real hard
There is one chance he have maybe for to get out
Staring in a mirror, he soon have no doubt
Now he see his soul in it and his happiness sprout
Over and over, he scream and he shout(s)
These are the power he forgot about
Off he run back in the forest to battle
Brave Kevin jump on his horse with a saddle
Victory soon will be mine he cries
I hope he is not to cocky now
Oh no, a tree come behind him in the dark
Unaware the tree cut off Kevins head!!!
So end the tale of Kevin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :zombie:

 

[Craigsnedeker]

Haha very interesting lyrics, and funny ending

Some words are wrong, I am wondering, did you translate this from another lanaugage? Just wondering

Keep it up

 

[Ryan M.]

there are a lot of missing S's! That's the problem. Good though.

 

[OKThankYou]

yeah sometimes my english is not so good lol and i get confuse by so many rules but i'm glad you liked it

 

[Ryan M.]

How old r u?

 

[OKThankYou]

13

 

[Ryan M.]

Cool. so I'm no longer the youngest active member here! I'm 15 (recent).

 

[OKThankYou]

but i have a wise beyond my years