ITT we post funny pictures...

I would totally break both his arms and legs of this old bastard if he talked to me like that. man, my disrespect for religions just raised on a whole new level. Their kids should be taken away from them.
 
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http://montreal.en.craigslist.ca/muc/2486576470.html

I SHRED IRONICALLY

Do you play in an indie band? Do you say to your indie friends that "shredding" is only for "unsophisticated lower-middle-class metalheads," even though you secretly wish you could MELT FACE like Yngwie Malmsteen or SINGE HAIR OFF like Tony Iommi? Are you too ANXIOUS to suggest a SLAYER cover at your next band practice because you know it'll ruin your hard-earned indie-darling street cred? If the answer to these questions is YES, YOU MUST KEEP READING.

I was a metalhead in high school. Dimebag, Kerry King, and Dave Mustaine were my gods. These days, though, I know "what's up" and wouldn't dare display my guitar prowess in my TWEE MINIMALIST ART ROCK MUSIC COLLECTIVE -- I'd be the laughingstock of Mile End! BUT WAIT. Isn't there something we can do to express our true selves?? THERE IS NOW.

Using my own ingenious formula, YOU can achieve the Epic Rock you've always secretly wanted -- all the while making sure your pretty-boy friends know you're aware of how "uncool" BEING AN EXCELLENT GUITARIST generally is these days. For a nominal fee of 10 BONES, I will visit your recording session to lay down the most DISGUSTING, DELICIOUS, OVER-THE-TOP GUITAR SOLO YOU HAVE EVER HEARD. My guitar may explode or disintegrate due to the ridiculous speeds at which I play. I am not liable for YOUR ENTIRE RECORDING STUDIO BEING BURNT TO THE GROUND. But seriously, I will melt you. Drop me a line for more information.

Ironically Yours,

Adam Finchler
Experienced Ironic Guitarist
Master Shredders, Inc.
Montreal, QC