Jealousy

[Hitori]

SOME jealousy is ok though, to a certain degree. if i date someone and just dont give a fuck if he is out with another girl or whatever, thats a very very bad sign indeed.

as for mourningstar's question at the top of this page, um, yes, im jealous of other things too... like when i feel left out with my friends. but not too often, and my levels of jealousness have decreased considerably.

 

[Commence Destruction]

Hm, interesting topic. Unfortunately, I've had some jealousy issues, however they're usually warranted to some extent....but as someone said jealousy comes partially from insecurity, and me...well, what can I say? I have a low self-esteem, and really don't know what people see in me when it comes to relationships, so I have to grapple with this, and end up taking things that are said the wrong way, and this causes problems. Then again, when my main issue with jealousy comes in is when someone I'm currently with tells me, "I need to go see "X person"" or "I need to quit talking to you and ignore you for a while to go see "X person"" when I know that "X person" and they're pretty much a worthless shitbag that's a waste of life. That aggravates the living hell out of me when someone I've cared for ignores me to go talk to some worthless asshole.(especially if I've helped them out in the past as a friend because of that person fucking them up emotionally, which has happened before several times) At that point, jealousy kicks in and I'm pissed as hell. Well, I suppose you just have to try to focus jealousy positively, or at the least, keep yourself from doing something too extreme. My rant kind of lost it's structure I suppose, so I guess I'll stop here...heh.

pretty weird, that sounds somewhat like my fucking story from this past year, except cut out the ignoring part.

 

[The Devil's Steed]

Yeah, I guess. You know, the whole "I need some time away from you to go see my friends" type of thing? I don't mind if the people are decent though, I understand, but if it's somebody that I fucking hate with a passion then I'll be pissed.

 

[xenophobe]

Jealously isn't necessiarily warranted in any cases, but it's a natural emotion that everyone experiences, short of those with some kind of natural or medical condition that would preclude them from having it...

I understand that being a bit jealous can lead a healthy person in a healthy relationship to being a better person, and also show a loved one that you care. This is mainly only a positive thing in the beginning of a relationship, maybe the first year or two. To have a long-term relationship where jealousy frequents IS destructive... I made most of my points on that on my earlier post.

If you're REALLY in a healthy relationship, seeing your girlfriend give one of her best guy friends a hug and a peck on the cheek shouldn't even give you a second thought.

The normal reaction might be to be a bit jealous. The healthy reaction would either be pay it no mind, or discuss it with your partner. The unhealthy reaction would be to have the negative feelings and assocations from this happen, but letting the other know how they feel. The damaging (and most common) reaction would be to think that something is going on behind your back and seeing the reasons why you are right, keeping it to yourself, and letting it build up until you have a mental breakdown of some sort (crying, being extremely combative, or physically harmful).

Most everyone feels and copes with these feelings. Many of them deal with it successfully. But in the long term, jealousy does nothing. I've been through it several times on either side of it, and witnessed it 2nd hand more times that I would imagine.

I've never seen a healthy couple (very very rare) who are committed and trusting, and individually straight enough to have it ever come into their lives. The point when it does, one or both partners ARE doing something unhealthy in a relationship, therefore it being a healthy or good thing isn't true.

 

[mourningstar]

@xeno: i could really sign every post of your's in this thread!

 

[Lolita Vampiriá]

I couldn't date an extremely jealous person. I want to go out with other people too, i.e. with my friends who are men and if he couldn't accept it, our relationship wouldn't work.

Me being jealous? If there would be a reason but I trust my bf and believe when he says that there's no one else than me so I let my bf meet his girlfriends too if he wants to. [One is his bandmate.]

 

[ante]

@Psychonaut: well done!

"I talked with my friend and he said he was going to fuck her"

but atleast you know who they are now and you haven´t lost anything because that is not a friend......


I had the same experience where my friend started to date my gf whom I had relationship with over 4 years, I passed her house and his car was parked outiside etc etc and finally she broke up and I was jelouse like fuck! but it got me stronger....if a woman I´m dating wanna run away with someone else, then I dont wanna be with her either,so fuck off then! I can meet someone better