Just found out my grandmother died

FML.
Crying right now.
The last time I cried from being sad was in December.
I know I wont be able to cry at the actual funeral though. Funerals just make me totally numb, I don't feel anything. Not happiness, not pain, not grief, not shock, not loss.
Yeah, I accept in my rational mind there is the loss, but my emotional state doesn't register it at all at funerals.
Then the days after the funeral, all the emotions just totally set in. The sense of loss just kicks in and I become an emotional wreck.

Thanks for being so supportive guys, it's stuff like this that makes me love this forum

I always end up going through the same exact thing, funeral's just another day, and the coming week or so afteron is just HELL.

Stay strong, bud. Know that she truly is in a better place :)



(Bold: That's why I'm sayin! :headbang:)
 
That sucks man.. and i can totally relate to that funeral thing, but for me it takes a few days before i get a "punch in the gut".
Im not a cryer though, but i get completely depressed and down.. anyways, my condolences.
 
My thoughts are with you Harry, its really hard to lose a grandparent. :( Stay strong dude.
 
Sorry to hear it bro. My grandmother died out of nowhere too , she was in good spirits one week and the next she was dead from cancer... fuckin blows
 
I know how it is, my condolences. All my grandparents are gone. I was close to my Dad and lost him a few years ago. . I'm not a Buddhist but this helped me when he passed.

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The Mustard Seed

The reputation of Buddha Shakyamuni had spread far and wide. Not only was he renowned as a great, compassionate and fully enlightened human being, but also as a skilled teacher and a miraculous healer who could even bring the dead back to life.

One day, a woman approached him after a teaching begging that he do something to restore her dead child to her. The Buddha listened patiently to her plea and saw how great was her despair. He said to her, "Mother, if you bring me just one mustard seed from any household in which no person has died, then I shall revive your child."

The woman was greatly encouraged by the Teacher's words. She traveled from door to door throughout her own village, but could not find even a single residence in which no one had died. She went out of town, wandering to this hamlet and that in search of the tiny seed that the Buddha had requested. Days later, muddy and footsore, she returned to the place where the Buddha and his followers were passing the rainy season.

She was ushered into the Teacher's presence worn out, but not discouraged. "Master, try as I might, I could not locate the token you requested as an offering. But I have come to understand that death visits every household and eventually, every single one of us. I would like now, to 'enter the stream' and work towards the liberation that the teachings provide."


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This thread is our search for the mustard seed.