let's play a game.

[coelacanth_M]

this game is called "i don't have my contact lenses in, i haven't slept in over 24 hours, i'm semi-hallucinating (due to the bad vision/absense of contact lenses + sleep deprivation) and i'm trying to find my retainer, so i can nap in peace: where is it?"

for clarification purposes, please keep in mind this is the type of retainer we are looking for:

wrong type of retainer:

now that we've established this,

ready?

okay, let's play!

you first.

where's the retainer?
(i can't go to bed without it or else my teeth will move around, and then my jawline will get all weird on me too.)

 

[undead_plesiosaurus]

easy: in the mommy

 

[xfer]

see: dentata

 

[coelacanth_M]

no, all wrong!

guess again!

 

[xfer]

is it translucent? maybe you're accidentally using it as a monocle.

 

[lizard]

 

[coelacanth_M]

hint: it is not in the bag, on the nightstand, on the kitchen sink (from when i went to go wash my hands) or toy piano.

 

[ChromeLife]

Its in a cage hung upon a shepards crook.

 

[xfer]

under your pillow?

 

[avi]

the car?

 

[coelacanth_M]

hahaha retainer monocle on a stick!
that is a great idea, and possibly very very suave!

however, it's pink, not transluscent.

 

[coelacanth_M]

Its in a cage hung upon a shepards crook.

that's a pretty fucked up place for it to be.

i wonder how it got there!

i mean... that person's retainer, not mine. i don't own a shepard's crook, those things scare the living shit out of me.

 

[lizard]

is it...in your mouth? you know, like when people who wear glasses push them up atop their heads, and then say, "wtg happened to my glasses?"

don't forget, dude, you're dazed and confused.

 

[TheNewChupe]

that last picture reminds me: did you leave it in someone's rear portal?

 

[coelacanth_M]

hahaha i thought i spotted the salmon-colored ridgy fucker (the retainer) on the dresser, but it turned out to be a salmon-colored ridgy plastic alien toy!

which in turn reminds me of the time that toby dropped his contact lens on the floor, couldn't see a thing, and reached down to grab what he thought was the missing lens - instead he grabbed my orange-painted big toenail. people with bad vision are hilarious.

think about how awesome it would be, to be surrounded by near-blind people all the time.

wait, no it wouldn't.

i'm sleep-deprived. i take that last comment back now.

 

[coelacanth_M]

bwaha!
that wouldn't be awesome at all.
what am i talking about!?

 

[avi]

speaking of Tobias, I bet he stole it.

 

[xfer]

i think this board is rife with psychotic sleep-deprived posting today.

AIRPLANE PUPPET ORANGE SPOON GNAGH

 

[coelacanth_M]

AHHHHHHHHHH!

that dog talking about eating the retainer...

imagine him giving you a blow-job/going down on you!

holy shitAHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

[coelacanth_M]

his ears would flop back and forth!