Blurry_Dreams
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Males and Females
- Thread starter damnromulans
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Master_Yoda77
Juggalo
The Ozzman
Melted by feels
Satanstoenail
My Larpstyle determines my Derpstyle
TechnicalBarbarity
Poser Disposer
Blurry_Dreams
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if everyone thinks Ice-T's wife is nasty-looking
how about someone posting pics of the women that everyone thinks looks sexy
Blurry_Dreams
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all this shit should have been in the whining and bitching thread
Blurry_Dreams
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The Ozzman
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Thanks for pointing that out after the argument ended you fucking retard.
Anyway:
Blurry_Dreams
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Blurry_Dreams
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Blurry_Dreams
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Dak
mentat
Literally everything she is claiming as a single mom are most certainly opposite the facts of her actual existence. Women who write about themselves for public consumption almost exclusively engage in lying to themselves first, and secondarily to others as a matter of process.
Einherjar86
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The Ozzman
Melted by feels
Einherjar86
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Dak
mentat
I suppose you believe in granting everyone the benefit of the doubt? I thought you were quick to note that we are good at telling stories about ourselves, which may or may not have any relation to the truth. It takes a particular sort of narcissist to make a living/spend significant time writing about their own experiences, and narcissists are the worst sort for lying to themselves. I could say men too, but men simply write far less about themselves in relation to women. It's another manifestation of the things vs people orientation.
TL;DR: I'm not saying all women lie to themselves. I'm saying the sort that write for a living about themselves almost certainly are/do, and I'm pointing that out because the ratio of "writers about themselves" appears by my vast RSS feed to be heavily skewed towards women.
Einherjar86
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All people lie to themselves, yourself included. It isn't limited to people who write about themselves, and people who don't write about themselves can most certainly lie to themselves more than those who do write about themselves. I know this seems alien to you, but many writers are intensely self-reflexive, self-critical individuals. They're at least conscious of the fact that they do lie to themselves, and interrogate the landscape of that psychology. I'm not sure if you think you don't lie to yourself... but if you do think that, then I'm sorry but (wouldn't you know) you're lying to yourself.
We lie to ourselves in ways we don't even realize, which of course raises the question as to whether or not we're actually lying. I would consider myself at least somewhat familiar with the current literary marketplace, whatever that might mean, and I think it's safe to say that all writers--male or female--lie about themselves, and present those lies in print. But most good writers also reflect on the ways they lie, which makes their prose infinitely more interesting, and women writers are often some of the most reflexive. I wouldn't assume that Ben Lerner's 10:04, or Plath's The Bell Jar amount to factual reports of their authors' lives, but I guarantee they reflect on what it means to report events "factually."
You basically just made a blanket statement about women writers that isn't untrue, but that's because it's not limited to women writers. It applies equally to male writers, and in fact it applies to every fucking human being on this planet.
Dak
mentat
Carl Rogers, a guiding figure in clinical psychology from the humanist tradition, conceptualized the notion of the real self and the ideal self, and the conflict between these two. To simplify one outcome, he asserted that psychological dysfunction increased as the congruence between the real self and ideal self widened. We have a variety of ways we can narrow the perceived gap between the real and the ideal selves: we can improve our real selves towards our ideal selves, we can truly adjust our ideal selves closer to the real selves we are and/or can realistically achieve, or we can pretend to do variations of the previous two options. Factoring into the real and ideal self-conceptualizations are social feedback and norms across Bronfenbrenner's (social) ecological model.
I'm providing these models as a reference point to how I understand behaviors broadly, while recognizing that neither model is perfect. As a writer, I do recognize that those who consider themselves writers are likely self-reflective and critical. That doesn't necessarily make a writer good or honest. It is certainly possible that the author referred to in that video isn't even lying to themselves, but instead operating on the misery loves company principle. I could be wrong on both accounts, but I certainly wouldn't put money on the author being the self-presented epitome of relational happiness.
It may be true that lying to oneself is true of all persons to varying degrees, but all persons are not writers who specialize in writing about themselves, nor are all persons narcissists. I'm making a specific claim about the Venn overlap of people who are women who write about themselves as a matter of livelihood or hobby. I recognize that my claim isn't 100% (hence the original "almost"), but it's based on where the overwhelmingly greater risk lies.
Einherjar86
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I do not understand, based on what you posted, how you can say that women writers are at greater risk of being narcissists (if that's what you're saying). I would say that it's actually not even close to 100%. As far as narcissism in writing goes, men have the monopoly on that, historically speaking. And no, that's not just because there were once more men writing than women; narcissism is far more rampant in male literature. This doesn't mean there aren't female narcissists, but the men outweigh them when it comes to writing. David Foster Wallace even had a term for it: Great White Male narcissism.
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