Males and Females

[Manic Ferocity]

I'm not sure how many of you paid attention to my post about the horrible break-up I had with my ex but I felt like I'd post an update on my situation.

I've tried several times to sever all contact but to no avail. Every time I tell her that we should stop talking, she takes it as if I am punishing her. I went four days without responding to her and I eventually caved when she started to express suicidal thoughts. I want to give her time to get over me but she keeps expressing how she doesn't want that to happen and hopes that I can get myself together so that we can continue where we left off. She keeps pressuring me into coming to visit her and I've caved twice. The visits went somewhat well but were pretty awkward.

I went to visit her last Thursday for three days and it went better than the first visit but the repercussions have been awkward. Lately, she's been going from acting like she normally does to very minimal responses. A couple nights ago, she asked if I was worried about her dating other people. I told her that I was but wouldn't hold anything against her if that's what she decided to do. I proceeded to ask her if she was asking me this because she wanted to date someone. She denied it and told me that she asked the question to see if it was something I was worried about. Also, she asked if me and her had a chance even if she did decide to date other people. I told her it wasn't impossible and she assured me that what she was saying was hypothetical. I thought it was kind of a weird thing to randomly bring up but I didn't think much of it at the time.

I got very minimal responses from her yesterday until later on in the evening when I made an extra effort to talk to her. We talked for about an hour and then she abruptly said she was going to bed. I wasn't too bothered by it until an hour later when I saw her on Facebook. I tried talking to her and asking her why she was still up with no response. I also noticed that she had added another guy.

I'm not stressing out too much about this but it looks to me like she met someone else she's interested in. I would be more accepting of this if she had just been honest with me about it but it seems as if she is trying to keep me on the sidelines in case it doesn't work out with someone else. I could be wrong but either way, maybe it's time to stop talking to her and force myself to bite the bullet when she acts desperate to talk to me. Any advice?

 

[divine_torture]

Drunken post:

So I've not bothered mentioning my love life considering the terrible results of my last 2 girlfriends (one took my son, the other almost had me murdered by bikers and such), but I have been interested in a couple women of late. Not as many as I could choose from in Denver because I was a god damn pimp there and here I'm no one, but still, a couple possibilities.

Option 1: The girl at the liquor store: She works there and OBVIOUSLY likes me, to the point that it is almost embarrassing when I go in there haha. She always takes a break when I come in to talk to me, and we get along pretty good. She's fairly attractive, as well.

Option 2: An old friend from when I lived here before moving to Denver. She lives about an hour away, though. However, unlike option 1, her and I "get" each other quite a bit better. Similar views all around. And she's gorgeous.

However, neither girl knows of my past as a criminal, drug addict, etc... I was a high profile criminal in Denver...like FBI watching me high profile. I did some nasty, terrible things. Neither girl has been through that and I feel we are cut from different trees. I dunno...I have seen and done things they haven't. I'm not used to "normal" girls. I'm used to the criminals and drug addicts I was with before. I'm concerned that my views on many things (as well as my attitude and such) would cause problems regardless. I feel like a stranger in my new life, and even more so with women.

 

[Zephyrus]

We talked for about an hour and then she abruptly said she was going to bed. I wasn't too bothered by it until an hour later when I saw her on Facebook. I tried talking to her and asking her why she was still up with no response. I also noticed that she had added another guy.

HERE BE DRAGONS. Don't start getting paranoid over Facebook. It means nothing. Trust me, I've been there and it will drive you batshit crazy.

 

[Manic Ferocity]

Haha well in this case, the paranoia is justified. I just received a text from her saying that she was going to be honest with me in that she met a guy that she's interested in. He has a girlfriend though, apparently.

I told her that she could/should see other people so that alone doesn't bother me (well maybe mildly). It's just annoying that two days ago, she was saying that she didn't want to be with anyone else but me. It's a classic example of telling me what (she thinks) I want to hear.

 

[damnromulans]

ObscureInfinity, my advice is give up because since you are getting butthurt about Facebook and letting her know you're butthurt, she has dismissed you as an unattractive beta psycho. Sorry.

divine_torture, perhaps trying pure women would re-educate you on what's "normal" in the non-addict world?

 

[Manic Ferocity]

Let me remind you that this wasn't just some girl that I dated for a couple of months. We had been dating for two years and she has had her fair share of jealousy over something as stupid as Facebook when we were together AND when we split up. Pathetic, yes, but it wasn't anything new. I'm not the only one chasing and it would be a stretch to call a simple question about why she didn't go to bed when she said goodnight chasing to begin with. After dating someone for two years, it becomes a lot more painful when they lie to you.

Seeing a newly added guy at two in the morning on her Facebook page just validated my suspicions that something was up. I'm not even angry with her because she met someone else but I AM upset about her telling me that she had no interest in dating anyone but me a mere two days beforehand. It's frustrating and annoying that she felt the need to stretch the truth, especially when it came to something that was important to me.

 

[damnromulans]

Let me remind you that YOU ARE NOT TOGETHER so all of this is pure insanity.

 

[Manic Ferocity]

It is pure insanity but it could have all been avoided if she had just agreed for us to both take a step back from each other so that we could move on. Instead, I got frequent false reassurances that she absolutely wasn't and could never be interested in anyone else.

 

[damnromulans]

So why don't you just ignore her? She's jerking you around and trying to keep you "in orbit" in case her other guys don't work out.

 

[Zephyrus]

Dude, I've had a post-two-year break-up before. You cannot expect women to behave rationally after something like that happens. You expected too much of an unstable person and it dragged you into the very trap Laura just described, and turned you into a paranoid FB stalker. Claiming she did the same thing is no excuse; it only proves that you have been infected with her Furies.

This new guy is a classic rebound, and it's a quick fix to get over you. I suggest you look for someone else if the alternative is claiming to be in the stronger position yet your obsession over the matter betrays the opposite truth.

 

[Manic Ferocity]

I guess I am just going to make the bold move of refusing to talk to her then. I'm half tempted to tell her that I won't just be there to take her back if her other romantic interests fail but I think that would just prolong the jealousy and resentment. We've already had enough discussions as to how to go about our situation and continuing to talk about it would get us nowhere.

...and krampus, bear with me, this was my first relationship.

 

[SentinelSlain]

I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall asleep, cos I miss you baby and I don't wanna miss a thing.

FUcking Russian girl. I need to get my czech simcard and right that little doll. She was sweeter than any other girl in the world. Life is cruel and my stupidity never ceases to punish my better self. Fuck. If only I had her in my bed right now. OR arms.

 

[damnromulans]

It's shit. Breakups are always shit. You learn from every one though. It will get better!!!

 

[arg]

pfff such a poser :3

that's me on the right but cut myself out cuz i look retarded

 

[King Richard]

It is pure insanity but it could have all been avoided if she had just agreed for us to both take a step back from each other so that we could move on. Instead, I got frequent false reassurances that she absolutely wasn't and could never be interested in anyone else.

Your ex is a fucking psycho energy vampire. Cut her out of your life completely, and now. That's your only option. If she offs herself, that's her own problem and is not your fault in anyway.

/coldhardtr00f

 

[SentinelSlain]

I've banged hotter girls for free tbh.

 

[The Butt]

I went to visit her last Thursday for three days and it went better than the first visit but the repercussions have been awkward. Lately, she's been going from acting like she normally does to very minimal responses. A couple nights ago, she asked if I was worried about her dating other people. I told her that I was but wouldn't hold anything against her if that's what she decided to do. I proceeded to ask her if she was asking me this because she wanted to date someone. She denied it and told me that she asked the question to see if it was something I was worried about. Also, she asked if me and her had a chance even if she did decide to date other people. I told her it wasn't impossible and she assured me that what she was saying was hypothetical. I thought it was kind of a weird thing to randomly bring up but I didn't think much of it at the time.

STRIKE ONE! Don't say there's a chance if she dates other people! You just gave her a free pass to date another person then come back to you as a last resort.

I got very minimal responses from her yesterday until later on in the evening when I made an extra effort to talk to her. We talked for about an hour and then she abruptly said she was going to bed. I wasn't too bothered by it until an hour later when I saw her on Facebook. I tried talking to her and asking her why she was still up with no response. I also noticed that she had added another guy.

I'm not stressing out too much about this but it looks to me like she met someone else she's interested in. I would be more accepting of this if she had just been honest with me about it but it seems as if she is trying to keep me on the sidelines in case it doesn't work out with someone else. I could be wrong but either way, maybe it's time to stop talking to her and force myself to bite the bullet when she acts desperate to talk to me. Any advice?

Do what feels right man. If you feel that it's time to stop talking to her, then it is time. She seems like she wants to have her cake and eat it. Show her that you're not a last resort dude!

 

[Manic Ferocity]

STRIKE ONE! Don't say there's a chance if she dates other people! You just gave her a free pass to date another person then come back to you as a last resort.

Well, more specifically, I told her that we would have to ease our way back into each other and just see how things go. I tried to stress that it would be a while before I'd consider wanting to date her again. I certainly wouldn't welcome her back with open arms the minute she broke it off with someone else.

Do what feels right man. If you feel that it's time to stop talking to her, then it is time. She seems like she wants to have her cake and eat it. Show her that you're not a last resort dude!

Haha, the irony is that she always hit ME with the cake analogy and I don't even currently have any other girls on deck (although that could change tonight if I don't drink myself into an alcoholic coma). She basically used that against me to try and guilt me out of going to bars, parties, etc.

Agh, now I'm getting riled up. She has the nerve to say I want my cake and eat it too when SHE jumped at the first opportunity of guy attention. Bunch of shit. Well, the good news is that I haven't responded to her since I posted on here that I was going to ignore her. I see no good reason to keep in contact with her right now so I'm probably making the right decision.

 

[The Butt]

Well, more specifically, I told her that we would have to ease our way back into each other and just see how things go. I tried to stress that it would be a while before I'd consider wanting to date her again. I certainly wouldn't welcome her back with open arms the minute she broke it off with someone else.

Well, I'm not gonna tell you what you need to do, but in your position, what I would do personally, is if she even expressed interest in wanting to date someone else I'd be sayin' "go for it, I won't be here when you come back though".

Haha, the irony is that she always hit ME with the cake analogy and I don't even currently have any other girls on deck (although that could change tonight if I don't drink myself into an alcoholic coma). She basically used that against me to try and guilt me out of going to bars, parties, etc.

Agh, now I'm getting riled up. She has the nerve to say I want my cake and eat it too when SHE jumped at the first opportunity of guy attention. Bunch of shit. Well, the good news is that I haven't responded to her since I posted on here that I was going to ignore her. I see no good reason to keep in contact with her right now so I'm probably making the right decision.

Wait... she used the cake analogy on you, when you didn't even have any other women in mind? Wut.

Good on ya man. Fuckin' good on ya for continuing to ignore her. Go to this party or bar tonight, or whatever it is you're doing, pound a couple drinks into ya, and work some magic with the ladies. Do it.

 

[CF87]

I can't recall any decent expirience have had with a female. I'd rather be alone. Fuck them, not with my dick either.