Males and Females

Well she assumed that going to bars = me meeting and/or hooking up with other women, which I honestly didn't and had no intention of doing at the time. She had no real reason to think I was doing anything other than the fact that I was going to bars. Standard paranoid irrational jealousy.

Also, an update that I forgot to mention. The guy turned out to be some hipster that gave her his number a few days after we broke up. They weren't in consistent contact until she randomly decided to text him last night. Her reasoning was that she was sick of feeling heartbroken over me so she decided to text him. Other than her neglecting to talk to me much, we haven't been on bad terms since I went to visit her so I'm struggling to understand what caused her to do that. Not only does that make me regret having gone to visit her but it gives me all the more reason to call it quits since there is clearly no efficient way for me to get her to come to terms with our situation and maintain a subtle relationship.
 
ObscureInfinity said:
Well she assumed that going to bars = me meeting and/or hooking up with other women, which I honestly didn't and had no intention of doing at the time. She had no real reason to think I was doing anything other than the fact that I was going to bars. Standard paranoid irrational jealousy.
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My ex (not the long-distance one, my first one) was like that. "I don't want you going to bars or parties without me, you'll do something stupid!" It sucked.

Consider this a bullet dodged, man. Bullet fuckin' dodged.

Death Delirium said:
I can't recall any decent expirience have had with a female. I'd rather be alone. Fuck them, not with my dick either.
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Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks.
 
Well it's funny because I didn't really realize how controlling she could be until much later on. We met while enrolled in college and she was never very jealous or controlling at all. I first noticed it back in April when we went to visit friends at our old college campus. Me and my friend took a drunken detour across campus and didn't come back to the house we were staying at until around seven in the morning. Naturally, she went ape shit about why I was out so late. She never used to be like that but we had also been living together in West Virginia where we didn't really have any friends to hang out with for several months. Either way, it amazes me how much of a 180 her personality did after almost a year and a half of dating her. I guess it's only natural for someone's true colors to be revealed as you get closer to them. That isn't to say that I'm excluded from that aspect of being close to someone but it makes relationships seem like a major set-up for disappointment.

Sorry for rambling. Just needed to get all this off my chest.
 
Don't apologize dude, this is the thread to ramble about that stuff.

And yeah, it's amazing how someone's personality can totally change the closer you get to them. My first ex started to show her true colors about 4 months in... her jealousy started to spiral out of control, because she thought I had a crush on one of my best female friends. It grew to the point where the girlfriend totally destroyed the friendship I had with this girl. Now, that's all been repaired, but I consider this a bullet dodged. A learning experience. No tolerance for crazy, irrational behavior.
 
Well I admittedly started out being the jealous one in the relationship, mainly because it was my first and I didn't really know how to react when I had feelings like that. We ended up having a total role reversal about a year and a half into our relationship though and she became really self-conscious and insecure all of a sudden (also a thing that had changed in her personality since she had initially struck me as a very confident woman).

Towards the end of our relationship and up until now, I haven't had a very difficult time dealing with jealousy. Every now and then it will hit me and piss me off but it's not usually a thought I really dwell on anymore. If anything, our break-up has really given me a much more apathetic attitude about what she does when I'm not around. There is still quite a bit of confusion but it's nothing that I haven't been able to deal with. I suppose the relief of being free from what was, more or less, a nightmarish relationship is enough to outweigh the feelings of loss and jealousy. That isn't to say that those feelings aren't present but they have been made easier when I have less to worry about when it comes to the major drawbacks of being in a relationship.
 
Why do some women feel like they NEED a man to shower them with affection in order to feel good about themselves? I'm sure there are men out there who are like this too but I've known quite a few women (including my ex) who feel like they NEED to be in a relationship in order to feel good about themselves (or to sleep around if that isn't possible). I can't speak for the rest of men but I majorly value my alone time and am perfectly comfortable with not having a significant other (which is perhaps why I was single until I was 20).
 
Because some people are fucking insecure, self conscious, codependent fuck heads who cannot find their own self worth on their own...They need that validation from someone else.

So im in love with a chick whos half way across the states, just went through a divorce and has two kids...Spent a week with her the other week and it was fucking incredible. But she comes with a lot of baggage that Im not sure Im willing to take on at this point in my life...Fuck.
 
I may even go as far as to say that the point in my life where I felt the most insecure was when I was in a relationship. Everyone is flattered when someone finds them attractive but I've never understood how it could get to the level where you crave that kind of attention.
 
Most insecure in a relationship? How does that work? Sounds like the wrong type of relationship(s)...

I feel like men for the most part desire independence and solitude and women desire dependence and community in a relationship. Thats been true for me. Very few relationships Ive been in, a woman is ok with giving me my reflective space without being too needy and insecure that I might be doing stupid shit (as stated earlier). The women who do give me that space tend to be the ones that I try to have be around.
 
When you come from a wealthy suburban family who takes care of you and forgets to teach you important life skills, it becomes difficult to live with a significant other who was taught independence from childhood. I also have pretty bad ADD so there was a great deal of frustration on her part about my lack of focus which led to countless fights. She was also very brutally honest and could be very demeaning when criticizing my behavior, lack of decision making skills, and general lack of direction in life. She was constantly critical of me and it had a major effect on my confidence after a while.

Neither of us had a whole lot of money throughout the course of our relationship but she took it upon herself to make me feel guilty for not doing many romantic things for her. That also, of course, has to do with the fact that she was my first girlfriend and that I was oblivious as to how to go about being a boyfriend. Naturally, she made me feel like I wasn't doing my "job" correctly.

Without going into detail, our sex life was complicated from the start. She has had a lot more experience than I have which made me feel in-confident in some cases. A worse aspect of our sex life, however, was some deep sexual insecurities I have that also made our sex life complicated. It got to the point where she became impatient with me which also affected my confidence.

I have a very out-of-control temper that has led me to say things to her that I regret and am somewhat of a mistake-prone person in general. That isn't to say that I am unable to work those issues out for myself but the constant guilt of things I said to her was overwhelming at times and obviously had a pretty huge affect on how our relationship turned out.

So yeah, basically I felt like the biggest piece of shit when I was in a relationship. I guess I am glad that it's over in a lot of ways and feel more secure now that I'm not too close with someone. I'm certainly not jumping into another relationship anytime soon.
 
I enjoy the early stages of a relationship (or a short-term partnership, which I've done more of) because it is much more flattering for someone you don't know that well yet to be smitten with you. The initial excitement and wonder is honestly the best part of expressing feelings for someone.
 
i've said it somewhere in this thread before but i'm too lazy to find it and quote myself

your sexual relationship should be every bit as easy and natural and efortless as your non-sexual relationships

your sex-partner should be just simeply
"your best friend + sex"
anything other than that and it's just not worth the effort
 
bitcjes always get me too drunkj before blast off. Some virgin girl sucked me off then kicked me out for being too drunk and throwing up in her bath and trying to wash myself with her toothpaste.

Oh well. Life battles onwards into countless struggles against pussydom.
 
SentinelSlain said:
bitcjes always get me too drunkj before blast off. Some virgin girl sucked me off then kicked me out for being too drunk and throwing up in her bath and trying to wash myself with her toothpaste.

Oh well. Life battles onwards into countless struggles against pussydom.
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Someone is going to be looking at the ole' regret-O-meter tomorrow.
 
Went to a Industrial/Noise club last night...God damn those women are fucking hot.

Gothic_cyber_club_chick_by_AgonyInEcstasy_thumb.jpg
 
So I couldn't emotionally handle it and caved this morning. I ended up texting my ex everything I wanted to say to her. She didn't give me a whole lot of feedback and eventually deleted and blocked me on Facebook (and I assume she did the same with my number). That's probably what needed to happen since I've always had a hard time keeping my thoughts to myself with people I'm close with. I wish I had had the will-power to refrain from talking to her but I guess it doesn't really matter anyway. I just hope that she doesn't have the nerve to try and get back into contact with me.
 
More or less, theres people "dancing" all sorts of fucking ways....But, thats the general gist of it.

This is the club. Used to be way better and underground years ago, now its slowly being engulfed by scene kids and hipsters.

 
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