Males and Females

Fuck yeah dude. :kickass:

Are the dinner plans tonight?

They're a couple weekends out. We're both really busy with finals and she's gonna be out of town this weekend so it's the most convenient time. The anticipation is brutal as all hell, but I wanna do this right, yanno? The fancy clothes and the flowers the day after, all that shit. It's been far too long since I took a girl on a real date, and if there's anyone I think is worth it, she's it.

She's a vegetarian so I'm taking her to this classy joint:

http://duodenver.com/index.html

And we menfolk don't have a list we keep of foods that are off limits, no.
 
Sushi places have always been my go-to date restaurant. Doing something cross-cultural is always a good stimulus for rich conversation.
 
Can you elaborate on what you mean by off limits? Im not quite catching on to what you mean...

Sorry - I mean "unattractive."

For example salad is not good because it involves having to jam poorly cut pieces of greens into your mouth, probably getting dressing all over your face. High potential for stuck-in-teeth. And a salad is a very "loaded" menu item, your date might think you're boring because you "don't eat," etc.

Too much cheese or cream sauce or garlic/onions could suggest you have thick cheese-flavored vaginal discharge.

There is a lot of pressure on women to be in good physical condition i.e. not fat but also to eat heartily - chicken wings and steak are good first date foods if your date is not opposed to eating meat.

Source: my asshole
 
So much win in that post lol

I don't hold back on what I eat when it's on a date. I don't give a fuck. Practically anything I eat always gets in my beard so whatever.

If food in my beard doesn't make a pussy wet, it's not worthy of my wiener anyway.
 
Apparently there is a customer that comes into my work every so often that has a thing for me. I left the other night and apparently some girl came in about twenty minutes later and asked if the 'guy with the long hair who works in photo' was in. The girl who worked up front told her that she missed me by about twenty minutes. Apparently register girl was then asked if I was 'seeing anyone' to which she replied 'I dunno...'

Guess the customer was coming in because her 'friend' is interested in me...

Too bad for her that I'm not available.
 
Dude you are something else. If you dedicated as much time as you do justifying fetishes, reading Spider Man comics and collecting posts on this forum looking for a job, you could probably have one within a couple weeks.

but i already have a source of income

@Damn Romulans

seriously you're putting the cart before the horse
just talk about food with a potential date

just already know each other's favorite foods before you eat together, where he already knows which type of salad dressing you like before he sees you eat salad, where he already knows you love lasagna before he sees you eat cheese, problem solved
 
How about we show off just how picky we are (IE why we're single)? What are you looking for as "must haves" ? I have a rather extensive list here...

-European or East Asian
-Light skinned.
-Thin framed but not necessarily low body fat. Naturally smaller build with a couple extra pounds > medium build even in better shape.
-Cuter > hotter.
-"Bs" to please.
-No short hair.
-No tats/wild piercings and generally maintain a more "traditional" look.

-Mildy/moderately geeky but not over the top.
-Likes metal at least a little.
-Somewhat of a homebody.
-Nice/sweet personality, but won't put up with your shit either.
-Educated.
-Not liberal. Moderate/Libertarian/Conservative/Apolitical.
-A neutral suburban accent would be nice.
-Not a religious zealot. Church a few times a year is cool.

-Celtic-pale, like the kinda white that burns instead of tans

-blue or pure-green eyes

-"hour-glass-figure"
as in huge-boobs (natural)
small-ish-waist
wide-as hell bones-in-the hip
a lot of junk-in-the-trunk

-short hair, something like this http://s2.hubimg.com/u/266589_f520.jpg

-blue/green/purple hair, i want the girl who wakes up and suddenly realizes that she can't remember what the hell her natural hair color is

-full-color (blood-red/fiery-orange/gold) tats (black-&-white "pepper-shading" tattoos look like crap, and look masculine when on a female)

-lots of facial piercings

-refusing to do "traditional look"

-want gainfully employed girl, working as forklift operator/stocking/telemarketing/tattoo-&-piercing shop/hot topic
you know, the kind of job where tats on hands and neck and facial piercings and blue hair are totally acceptable

-superhero dork

-Juggallette

-nice and sweet in public but dominatrix in bedroom

-girl who has "street smarts" but the kind of girl that would never think about going to college in a million years

-definately liberal, as liberal as possible in fact

-the specific kind of southern accent that would be as-annoying-as-hell if coming out of the mouth of a male

-definately atheist or maybe pagan

-somewhere between 5 feet and 6 feet (barefoot) and willing to wear heels

-ultra-feminine hands

-girl who understands that when i go to sleep "i stay asleep until i get hungry" and who is willing to give me "breakfast-in-bed" even if it's just setting a box of Cheez-its on my chest

-girl who makes enough money to financialy support any kids that she/we might have

-girl who will teach her kids the story of "the Christians on the beach" http://www.ultimatemetal.com/forum/10479175-post2.html



seriously
anyone else going to describe their "perfect girl"??
 
teacher still gets fired over bikini pics
even though she "wasn't doing porn"

http://search.yahoo.com/search?cs=bz&p=Teacher fired over bikini photo&fr=fp-tts-621&fr2=ps

she says being a teacher wasn't paying very well and she was modeling "for the money"

Sprauer, who only started modeling swim suits in February because she needed the money, said she was a good teacher and that she didn't feel like she did anything wrong.


"I don't make pornography. I don't open my legs on camera. I take swimsuit glamour style photography," she said.
http://www.upi.com/blog/2013/05/09/...ign-after-bikini-photos-emerge/2531368119876/

i feel like she shouldn't have been fired because she she wasn't doing anything hardcore and i personnally know teachers who "have side-jobs" because of how little educators make
 
Collecting cans under a bridge isn't the same thing as a job.

-i have a disability check

-a crazy female "photographer" pays me to take pictures of my dick

-and i got some rich married couple to take me to lunch and buy me brand-new shoes a few months ago

also
i myself don't actually collect cans
 
^ How did you get a rich married couple to take you to lunch and buy you brand new shoes?

Do you really want to know?
i'm not doing 3somes with married couples for money anymore
this married couple just noticed me wearing shredded shoes and got me new shoes just to help me out






You hire the other hobos into doing it for you?
i personnally know people that "collect cans" for money, i just don't do it cuz i'm too lazy
i'm going to hell for sloth





I had a date lined up for today but she bailed on me. Her grandmother is dying of cancer apparently.

That's no reason to cancel a date...

:lol: