Males and Females

HamburgerBoy said:
What's amazing is when the AC is off and it's warm and stuffy in the bedroom and you've just woken up from an amazing erotic dream buried under two layers of covers when you make love to the several pillows strewn about over the period of an hour, and by the time you're done you just go back to sleep from heat exhaustion as you stew in a puddle of your sweat and semen.
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somehow i didn't actually read this till just now

also
eeiiww
 
I hate the smell of human body odour during sex. Accidentally pulling their hair with my arms or palms is annoying too. I know some women like that but I've never slept with one of them and I doubt they like it accidentally and unexpectedly. Sex isn't as good as I spent my teenage years fantasizing about, that's for sure. The wetness of a vagina is also kind of weird at first.
 
So I had to sneak into the stable manager's room and look her surname in the files but I found it. Then I searched for her first name on the internet and I found it thanks to knowing what faculty she's on. I messaged her on FB and she will have a beer with me as she realizes my unbounded bravery. I'm afraid this won't work out though because she's pretty much a horse chick II and she has her own horse too. And it's called motherfucking WEDDING DAY! How alarming is that.

EDIT: And I don't know if I've ever said this, but I fucking hate horses. I don't know if I can hide such gargantuan hatred for long.
 
Anybody ever have friends try to set you up with somebody? My buddy's gf just got a new job a month or so ago and is now trying to set me up with her new friend whom she works with. I guess she's been telling her about me and showed her a couple pictures. She's told me very little actual information about the girl, however. I know she is 19, and doesn't listen to metal. And apparently she is cute, I can't say because I haven't seen her or a picture of her. That's about it. Party at her house Friday so I am meeting her then. I feel like success is unlikely.
 
SentinelSlain said:
Sex isn't as good as I spent my teenage years fantasizing about, that's for sure. The wetness of a vagina is also kind of weird at first.
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You're either bad at it or you've been with bad partners. Also, I agree. Not really a big fan of the wetness factor.

wandering_taco said:
Anybody ever have friends try to set you up with somebody? My buddy's gf just got a new job a month or so ago and is now trying to set me up with her new friend whom she works with. I guess she's been telling her about me and showed her a couple pictures. She's told me very little actual information about the girl, however. I know she is 19, and doesn't listen to metal. And apparently she is cute, I can't say because I haven't seen her or a picture of her. That's about it. Party at her house Friday so I am meeting her then. I feel like success is unlikely.
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I set one of my friends up with a girl he's been with for a few years now, but I only did that because she was into me and I didn't want her. Fortunately he doesn't know that.
 
It's becoming really difficult having a girlfriend and not having a job. How do I cope with the stress of the combination of these two things?
 
wandering_taco said:
Anybody ever have friends try to set you up with somebody? My buddy's gf just got a new job a month or so ago and is now trying to set me up with her new friend whom she works with. I guess she's been telling her about me and showed her a couple pictures. She's told me very little actual information about the girl, however. I know she is 19, and doesn't listen to metal. And apparently she is cute, I can't say because I haven't seen her or a picture of her. That's about it. Party at her house Friday so I am meeting her then. I feel like success is unlikely.
Click to expand...

I've heard about these situations many times and have come to the realization that it's the only chance I have of acquiring a sexual partner (assuming I had any friends to set me up of course).
 
wandering_taco said:
Anybody ever have friends try to set you up with somebody? My buddy's gf just got a new job a month or so ago and is now trying to set me up with her new friend whom she works with. I guess she's been telling her about me and showed her a couple pictures. She's told me very little actual information about the girl, however. I know she is 19, and doesn't listen to metal. And apparently she is cute, I can't say because I haven't seen her or a picture of her. That's about it. Party at her house Friday so I am meeting her then. I feel like success is unlikely.
Click to expand...

I'm setting up my friend with a girl I know on Saturday. She doesn't want me yet she wants to go out with me so I told her we're going to have a beer with my friend to make it interesting. What she didn't know is that that friend of mine has spent the last 14 days persuading me to hook them up. I can't wait to see him try shit because he's normally shy with women and the girl doesn't really like sex or getting drunk. It should be really entertaining. And I'd be surprised if she liked him.
 
wandering_taco said:
Anybody ever have friends try to set you up with somebody? My buddy's gf just got a new job a month or so ago and is now trying to set me up with her new friend whom she works with. I guess she's been telling her about me and showed her a couple pictures. She's told me very little actual information about the girl, however. I know she is 19, and doesn't listen to metal. And apparently she is cute, I can't say because I haven't seen her or a picture of her. That's about it. Party at her house Friday so I am meeting her then. I feel like success is unlikely.
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When you first meet her tell her you recently started taking Chinese Viagra and now "it like I have giant Panda in pant"

Works every time bro
 
It'll be great if you meet her and she is not or you are not into it and then you're stuck at her house. Have an "out."

Wetness is such a gross word. There is no non gross way to talk about it. So I just pee.
 
whiskey funeral said:
You would.
Also, your signature is horrendous.
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:lol:
SentinelSlain said:
I hate the smell of human body odour during sex. Accidentally pulling their hair with my arms or palms is annoying too. I know some women like that but I've never slept with one of them and I doubt they like it accidentally and unexpectedly. Sex isn't as good as I spent my teenage years fantasizing about, that's for sure. The wetness of a vagina is also kind of weird at first.
Click to expand...
i can smell the difference between a female's body odor and a male's body odor, that's how i know i'm not gay, a male's body odor is a little disgusting, but a female's body odor is fantastically intoxicating

i know short-haired women who purpousfully keep their hair short enough that accidentally pulling their hair doesn't happen

sex in real life is never as good as the sex in porn, it's "fantasy" the same as romance novels, superhero genre, or fantasy/sci-fi novels

the "wetness" of a vagina is neccassary for the female to get her pussy fucked without pain, also most straight men love the "wetness of a pussy"
Onder said:
So I had to sneak into the stable manager's room and look her surname in the files but I found it. Then I searched for her first name on the internet and I found it thanks to knowing what faculty she's on. I messaged her on FB and she will have a beer with me as she realizes my unbounded bravery. I'm afraid this won't work out though because she's pretty much a horse chick II and she has her own horse too. And it's called motherfucking WEDDING DAY! How alarming is that.

EDIT: And I don't know if I've ever said this, but I fucking hate horses. I don't know if I can hide such gargantuan hatred for long.
Click to expand...

so
you hate horses
you're attempting to fuck a girl that loves horses
on her wedding day

WTF???
 
wandering_taco said:
Anybody ever have friends try to set you up with somebody? My buddy's gf just got a new job a month or so ago and is now trying to set me up with her new friend whom she works with. I guess she's been telling her about me and showed her a couple pictures. She's told me very little actual information about the girl, however. I know she is 19, and doesn't listen to metal. And apparently she is cute, I can't say because I haven't seen her or a picture of her. That's about it. Party at her house Friday so I am meeting her then. I feel like success is unlikely.
Click to expand...

I've wished my friends would do this before. Especially about a year or two ago when I was going through a series of terrible first dates.

I'm so glad I moved out of Colorado Springs.
 
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