Males and Females
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KafkaX
Mr. Self Destruct
Whats everyones view on flirting?
It bugs the shit out of me when im dating a chick and shes flirty with dudes...Because the dude is thinkin, "fuck yeah, im gonna fuck this chick". We all think like that, theres no denying it. I think women find flirting more playful and harmless than men.
It bugs the shit out of me when im dating a chick and shes flirty with dudes...Because the dude is thinkin, "fuck yeah, im gonna fuck this chick". We all think like that, theres no denying it. I think women find flirting more playful and harmless than men.
Krow
Garbage Connoisseur
My relationship has a look but don't touch policy that's worked pretty well. I admit I will flirt with other girls, hell, unaware that I'm even doing it. If something is going too far, say something. If you get a "you're a jealous controlling psycho" type response, tell her to kick rocks cunt. I don't think being agitated by another guy attempting to fuck your woman is a bad thing and I've had (and currently have) girlfriends that agree with it.
Jimmy... Dead.
contemplative curmudgeon
As far as dating goes, fuck it. Let her flirt. She knows what she's doing to you. I say go as far as saying "get em tiger" "I hope he has a big dick too" haha. Don't let her have that pussy power over you. Let her use it and make her realize it doesn't affect you. Remember she can get dick any time she wants so the hunt means nothing to her. If she wants you she'll be forced to actually try something different and use some skill like you do. Besides if you're just dating it's open to all possibilities.
Funerary_Doom
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
My dance teacher has a huge crush on my boyfriend for years and she flirts with him all the time. I really don't mind, tbh. It's flattering for him and makes him feel good and I trust him.
I actually like flirting more with women than with men,though. Not that I'm attracted to women but I've always been too much of a whimp to flirt with guys. With women it's all fun and games and with guys it's serious business. One time my friend was bar tending and she kept directing these two Russian guys to me, and it was really annoying but they were tipping her well so I was friendly with them and engaged in conversation. I don't think I was flirting but I guess they thought I was and when one would go to the bathroom the other would ask for me to come home with them. And though I'd politely decline they were getting kinda aggressive so I just left the bar. :/ bottom line I ain't flirting unless I know the dude and that's how we play around because my luck is awful.
I actually like flirting more with women than with men,though. Not that I'm attracted to women but I've always been too much of a whimp to flirt with guys. With women it's all fun and games and with guys it's serious business. One time my friend was bar tending and she kept directing these two Russian guys to me, and it was really annoying but they were tipping her well so I was friendly with them and engaged in conversation. I don't think I was flirting but I guess they thought I was and when one would go to the bathroom the other would ask for me to come home with them. And though I'd politely decline they were getting kinda aggressive so I just left the bar. :/ bottom line I ain't flirting unless I know the dude and that's how we play around because my luck is awful.
KafkaX
Mr. Self Destruct
This is good advice. Can you elaborate more on the bold?
We are just dating as of now, so I should just let it go, but jealousy is part of my character flaws that im working on.
Jimmy... Dead.
contemplative curmudgeon
Not sure if...
KafkaX
Mr. Self Destruct
Jimmy... Dead.
contemplative curmudgeon
KafkaX
Mr. Self Destruct
Honestly it made some sense and it didnt seem like your normal BS troll nonsense. It struck me as sensible and applicable to my situation.
Jimmy... Dead.
contemplative curmudgeon
My troll nonsense is just an attempt at being funny that fails most of the time 
I don't think it translates well via texts and the context is just fucked.
Anyway..
Going out for even a decent looking girl is like a hotdog eating contest. She can eat 20 that night, but she's lazy, because she can down an easy 50. There is no challenge, therefore, no satisfaction. Meanwhile we can barley eat two. We work so hard to get a whiff or possibly a taste and constantly fail but when we succeed it's just pure win, absolute satisfaction. This is what you have to reverse. They don't know rejection the way we do, and when you reject their power over you they don't know how to handle it. They become like any poor dude at a bar that gives up right away and that's when you be as direct as possible and tell the truth, not what they want to hear, fuck the BS it's a waste of time. Make her work for you too. And in my opinion it's not playing games, it's playing the game smart.
That jealous feeling you get is only because you're trying to control something you can't (her body); ya have to get over that, she's fucked other dudes, so what? She'll fuck another dude again and again (possibly you) but it won't mean anything because it's too easy. What we have to do is get their mind and persuade her with a different way of thinking. Which means you have to kind of not give a shit and at the same time show interest, it's a fine balance. Ya gotta deal with the fact that you're just an option, but what kind of option? Are you like every dick she can get that's overly nice, jealous, controlling etc. or are you your own man that is in complete control of himself and capable of guiding a relationship, because when it comes down to it, it's all on you. She doesn't want the gold, she wants the guy with the gold. She's doesn't just simply want to win, she wants a winner.
I don't think it translates well via texts and the context is just fucked.Anyway..
Going out for even a decent looking girl is like a hotdog eating contest. She can eat 20 that night, but she's lazy, because she can down an easy 50. There is no challenge, therefore, no satisfaction. Meanwhile we can barley eat two. We work so hard to get a whiff or possibly a taste and constantly fail but when we succeed it's just pure win, absolute satisfaction. This is what you have to reverse. They don't know rejection the way we do, and when you reject their power over you they don't know how to handle it. They become like any poor dude at a bar that gives up right away and that's when you be as direct as possible and tell the truth, not what they want to hear, fuck the BS it's a waste of time. Make her work for you too. And in my opinion it's not playing games, it's playing the game smart.
That jealous feeling you get is only because you're trying to control something you can't (her body); ya have to get over that, she's fucked other dudes, so what? She'll fuck another dude again and again (possibly you) but it won't mean anything because it's too easy. What we have to do is get their mind and persuade her with a different way of thinking. Which means you have to kind of not give a shit and at the same time show interest, it's a fine balance. Ya gotta deal with the fact that you're just an option, but what kind of option? Are you like every dick she can get that's overly nice, jealous, controlling etc. or are you your own man that is in complete control of himself and capable of guiding a relationship, because when it comes down to it, it's all on you. She doesn't want the gold, she wants the guy with the gold. She's doesn't just simply want to win, she wants a winner.
KafkaX
Mr. Self Destruct
Excellent explanation. Gave me some more food for thought about myself and the relationship.
Thanks for putting the BS aside for a moment and helping a brotha out.
Thanks for putting the BS aside for a moment and helping a brotha out.
KafkaX
Mr. Self Destruct
Totally.
I mean thats not really what Im getting at. The topic was really about flirting and getting other people's opinions about that, and it digressed into fucking someone else, but I agree with you V.
On a seperate note, I think this all stems from being a bit wobbly in my stance in this relationship because while this chick claims to be into me, she rarely tells me. Weve been dating for about 2 months and yeah we hang out and do shit, and we talk a little each day, so those are signs right there, but my main qualm is she doesnt ever tell me. So theres a vaccum there.
Now shes expressed that shes guarded and jaded from past bullshit, but shit really isnt improving on her end which makes me feel like my efforts could be used on someone who acknowledges and appreciates what I do, and expresses the worth in it. And can reciprocate from time to time, that would be nice.
Im the kind of person that is open with the person im seeing, hell, with everyone in general, so they know exactly where they are at with me and how I feel. She is not. I constantly have to be asking where shes at, because she doesnt tell me shit. But Ive given up those questions because I dont want to be that guy who suffocates and keeps asking. Shell tell me when she feels like telling me. It would just be nice to know whats up.
Blah. End of rant.
I mean thats not really what Im getting at. The topic was really about flirting and getting other people's opinions about that, and it digressed into fucking someone else, but I agree with you V.
On a seperate note, I think this all stems from being a bit wobbly in my stance in this relationship because while this chick claims to be into me, she rarely tells me. Weve been dating for about 2 months and yeah we hang out and do shit, and we talk a little each day, so those are signs right there, but my main qualm is she doesnt ever tell me. So theres a vaccum there.
Now shes expressed that shes guarded and jaded from past bullshit, but shit really isnt improving on her end which makes me feel like my efforts could be used on someone who acknowledges and appreciates what I do, and expresses the worth in it. And can reciprocate from time to time, that would be nice.
Im the kind of person that is open with the person im seeing, hell, with everyone in general, so they know exactly where they are at with me and how I feel. She is not. I constantly have to be asking where shes at, because she doesnt tell me shit. But Ive given up those questions because I dont want to be that guy who suffocates and keeps asking. Shell tell me when she feels like telling me. It would just be nice to know whats up.
Blah. End of rant.
Vimana
Member
- Mar 2, 2007
- 11,671
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Just talk to her about it. Tell her you don't feel like she's open enough with you. If she responds badly to that, then that's a sign that you shouldn't be with her.
That is unless you've talked to her about it a lot before.
Edit: In my experience, it's just generally not a good sign if you're wondering whether or not you'll be intruding upon your significant other. Should you really have any anxiety about telling someone anything when you're supposed to share the most intimate connection you're capable of with them?
That is unless you've talked to her about it a lot before.
Edit: In my experience, it's just generally not a good sign if you're wondering whether or not you'll be intruding upon your significant other. Should you really have any anxiety about telling someone anything when you're supposed to share the most intimate connection you're capable of with them?
Eligos
Problem Yet to be Solved
I'm with Krow and Cammy when it comes to my own relationship, but we entered into this thing under the premise of a jealousy-sterile environment. So sometimes I'll grab someone else's ass, whether it's just a joke or by request. And sometimes she'll lean over and whisper into my ear that the person we're kicking it with would be prime threesome material, and we'll have some short banter over it. So the pressure's off there, because we both really enjoy our sex life and know that we wouldn't drop what we have to move on to something else in a dishonest or miscommunicated fashion.
But in your situation, Cody, I'd probably have a similar outlook to yours. Communication and empathy are the foundation of your confidence in this relationship and you're not getting what you need, so you should probably talk to the girl about it to see if you can shift that paradigm.
But in your situation, Cody, I'd probably have a similar outlook to yours. Communication and empathy are the foundation of your confidence in this relationship and you're not getting what you need, so you should probably talk to the girl about it to see if you can shift that paradigm.
Dak
mentat
Onder
Active Member
- Apr 10, 2006
- 11,389
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Ok so the response was very positive. I just returned from her place.
Her place is a lonely little house on a top of a hill above a quiet village near Prague. You have to go through a forest to get there. She has a garden with trees and a grilling place and shit and a view of a river and the opposite hills. Best place ever.
That sounds really nice. Did you grab-ass?
Cody - How flirty are we talking?
It does take some warm-up time to get over the "pretending not to have feelings" hump, but if you're talking daily, hanging and banging, and dating, she should be able to read the situation and make it obvious that she is into you, even without an explicit proclamation. It seems like you're a pretty intuitive guy with good social skills, so it's not like you can't pick up on signals.
Jealousy sucks. It's my least favorite emotion because I can't control it!
Cody - How flirty are we talking?
It does take some warm-up time to get over the "pretending not to have feelings" hump, but if you're talking daily, hanging and banging, and dating, she should be able to read the situation and make it obvious that she is into you, even without an explicit proclamation. It seems like you're a pretty intuitive guy with good social skills, so it's not like you can't pick up on signals.
Jealousy sucks. It's my least favorite emotion because I can't control it!
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