Many years ago, I used to review movies on a regular basis at several anime and sci-fi forums. I thought I'd share with you a review from my archives. The trailer for this film was posted on page 1 of this thread.
I'm sure this is something Sara would get a kick out of.
Six-String Samurai
HSX Films/Palm Pictures, 1998
Directed by Lance Mungia (
The Crow: Wicked Prayer)
Rated PG-13 for martial arts violence, mature situations and mild language.
"Don't touch my guitar, man. Don't even touch my guitar." - Buddy
Cast
Jeffrey Falcon as Buddy
Justin McGuire as the Kid
Lex Lang as Death
Buddy: "Who are you?"
Death: "Death."
Buddy: "Cool. You here for me?"
Death: "You and every other rock 'n' roller out to claim my throne."
Synopsis
In 1957, the Soviet Union nuked America and turned the country into a wasteland. The last safe haven in America was a city called Lost Vegas, ruled by King Elvis. Forty years have passed since then. Elvis has died. Sword-wielding, guitar-picking warriors all over the wastelands embark on a perilous journey to be crowned King of Lost Vegas.
On his way to the city, a lone rockabilly named Buddy saves a kid from a bunch of primitive thugs. Despite having to put up with the kid - who does nothing but moan and scream, Buddy must continue his quest to become the King, even if he has to face the Russian Army or Death himself and his heavy metal minions from hell.
"Don't let the four-eyes reach Vegas alive!" - Death
Lowdown
B-movies - you've seen one, you've seen them all. Many of them are poorly scripted, cheaply produced and reek of horrible acting. But then, once in a while, there comes a B-movie that's so good, you can't get enough of it. Take, for example,
Six-String Samurai: a loose parody of
Lone Wolf and Cub and a satire of American pop culture.
"Nice tuxedo. Nice tuxedo to die in!" - Pin Pals leader
Jeffrey Falcon, who has spent most of his career as a white jobber in Hong Kong flicks, does a great job playing Buddy (a parody of the late rock legend Buddy Holly), who packs a sharp katana and plays a mean six-string at the same time. The acting is extremely cheesy and the script is full of one-liners that really stick to your head. You even have a host of laughable baddies for Buddy to use his katana on, such as the Pin Pals (a trio of bald bowlers), the Cleavers (a cannibalistic suburban family), a bunch of fallen Cosmonauts and the Windmill People (mutants living underground).
"I ask you to kill one single guitarist, and what do I get? Dead bald guys. You four have failed me for the last -- nice shoes." - Death
For the soundtrack, The Red Elvises capture the essence of the film with rock 'n' roll mixed with ska, surf music and Russian folk. It's amazing how their music flows with the fight scenes.
"Cross that line, kid, I'll cut your little teddy bear in half. Last kid that crossed that line, I had to summon up the Spinach Monster with my rock 'n' roll magic. The Spinach Monster grabbed him, pulled him underground and made him eat spinach all day. Rumor has it, kid...he's still there." - Buddy
If you're looking for some cheap thrills, pick up
Six-String Samurai. You won't be disappointed.
Rating: 
1/2
"You come all this way without sayin' squat. And you are tryin' to tell me that a '56 Chevy can beat a '47 Buick in a dead quarter mile...I liked you better when you weren't sayin' squat kid. Go to bed." - Buddy
DVD Extras: 1/2
When you rent or purchase the DVD, you get the theatrical trailer and two music videos by The Red Elvises. This band really kicks ass!
Mesh-head: "If I were you, I'd run!"
Buddy: "If you were me, you'd be good lookin'!" (Snaps fingers)
Links
Official Six-String Samurai Soundtrack Homepage
References
The Internet Movie Database
