NEW! The 101 Rules of Internet Forums for Metal Bands

[Kate Bush Rules!]

1. Your user name should be one of the band's song titles, or should at least contain the word "shred" if you want any e-respect.

2. Dare you admit to enjoying mainstream music, you shall be flamed, nay, GRILLED!

3. You must pray to Thor (for black metal, replace with appropriate god/effigy for subgenre in question) chaque nuit.

4. Dismiss all who disagree with you as either "retards", "fags", or "newbes".

5. Claim to be more skilled at your instrument than you actually are.


add your own guys...

 

[Mr. Shred-ididle]

6. Allways put the band's forum your posting on's members next to jesus!!

7. If your on a prog forum, hate black metal coz it's "sensless noise, not music". If your on a death metal forum, hate prog and power metal coz it's "flower-happy pooffy shit". If your on a black metal forum, don't hate, but KILL prog, death, power, jazz, thrash etc... band members, simply coz their not black metal!

 

[Friend of Moloch]

8. omglolwtf!!11one1!1 (translation: master internet lingo with which to better promote your favorite band, which happens to be the indisputed best band ever by all with any intellect.)

But I don't think there will be 101 rules to this...

 

[OfSinsAndShred]

1. Your user name should be one of the band's song titles, or should at least contain the word "shred" if you want any e-respect.

I don't know whether to be insulted or laugh my ass off! lol... Okay, I have one:

9. Spend more time arguing on the forum about the band's EXACT sub-genre than actually LISTENING to their music.

 

[Kate Bush Rules!]

lol so appropriate!

keep them coming

 

[Manga-San]

10. You're so obsessed with what others have to say about a band that you just sit on your chair staring at the screen whilst constantly hitting the refresh button to see if anybody made a reply to your "What do you guys think about [band]..." topic...

 

[Friend of Moloch]

11. Vigilantly search for all the 101 rules lists for your favorite genres and once you've found them all make a list of rules for forum life... and once you've found that, make a list of rules for lists. If all lists are completed, burn them all and start over.

 

[SilentRealm]

12. You MUST check the board a minimum of 3 times per day, this is mandatory.

13. Start threads on every band-related topic imaginable, including what color underwear do the band members prefer, then when you've run out of topics to post about, repeat previous ones.

 

[Friend of Moloch]

14. Talk about forming an internet friend-based commune because of your empty life where no one can relate to you and your superior music.

 

[Zax666]

Addition to rule 1: If not, make a satanistic implication in you nickname, but never believe in satanism if so.

15. If you are on a power metal board either behave gay OR make a HUGE ammont of spelling and grammar mistakes.

16. If you are on a Prog Rock/Metal board make sure you play an instrument. Or at least sing. If not lie you're doing so.

 

[Lapazeus]

17. Refuse to admit that there are more talented players than the ones playing in your favourite band.

18. Post at least one topic saying that pop-music sucks.

19. Make infinite number of "Top 5 - Roadies etc." topics

 

[Lapazeus]

21. You MUST use oversized signatures, preferably big pictures or animations.