Haha. Stolen from a bulletin I saw on myspace:
If 10 or more of the following symptoms apply to you, you may be suffering from a disease called "Poseuritis". Contact your local Metallurgist for a diagnosis immediately.
1. You think Iron Maiden are "Glam".
2. You think singers who actually sing must be gay.
3. You think a band is "more Metal" than another, just because they are "heavier", which in your mind, just means detuned guitars fed through gain-cranked solid state amps, and lots of screaming.
4. You think Hot Topic is a cool store.
5. You think Pantera's debut album was "Cowboys From Hell", and have no clue that they were a pure Glam band before "toughening their sound".
6. You claim to be a huge Pantera fan but when asked what you thought of Terry Glaze, you look confused.
7. You don't know that Pantera (1990-on) were basically an Exhorder tribute band.
8.. You claim to love Slayer, but bash any bands that wore make-up, had fantasy lyrics, hit high notes vocally, wore spandex, or tuned to "E", and do not know that Slayer started out as Dragon Slayer, who wore make-up, wore striped and matching spandex, tuned to "E", covered Deep Purple, Judas Priest, and Iron Maiden songs, and whose vocalist (Tom Araya) hit high notes akin to Rob Halford.
9. You only know Rob Halford's name because it made big news when he announced he was gay.
10. You automatically assume that because somebody listens to oldschool Metal, that they are balding and in their early 40's.
11. When somebody says they like a lot of 80's Metal, you think they mean bands like Poison, Winger, Ratt, and Warrant.
12. You think Cannibal Corpse helped create Death Metal.
13. You think Dimmu Borgir and Cradle Of Filth are prime examples of true Black Metal.
14. You deny the fact that Venom not only coined the term, but also created Black Metal.
15. You think Metallica is still a good band.
16. You think that nobody knows who Celtic Frost, Bathory, Hirax, Mayhem, and Angel Witch are, simply because you, nor your teenage "Metal" friends know who they are.
17. You can't see the difference between Metal and Nu-"Metal".
18. You claim to despise Rap but most of the bands you listen to are what some call "wiggers".
19. You say Metallica are your favorite band, but you think that either Rob, Jason, or Cliff were Metallica's first bassist.
20. When a true Metalhead refers to you as a "wigger", you respond with, "I'm not a wigger, yo!".
21. You think you are Death Metal but you have no clue who Possessed, Celtic Frost, Hellhammer, or even Death are.
22. You think Six Feet Under are one of the best Death Metal bands.
23. You think you are an "underground Metalhead" because you listen to a lot of Relapse Records bands, when half of them are just lesser known Nu-"Metal" bands.
24. You claim to be Hardcore but you have no idea who Suicidal Tendencies, D.R.I., The Cro-Mags, or Minor Threat are.
25. You have more band shirts than albums.
26. You wait for MTV, the radio, Headbanger's Ball, or your poseur friends to introduce you to good bands you aren't familiar with.
27. You think pants that actually fit are "gay".
28. You think of Green Day, Rancid, and Offspring as Punk bands.
29. You think Roadrunner Records only got better in the mid-late 90's.
30. You like DOD pedals.
31. You think Metal began in the 80's.
32. You think Ozzy is the "Godfather Of Metal" when in fact, Tony Iommi and Geezer Butler wrote 95 f Black Sabbath's lyrics and music in their heyday.
33. You think Black Sabbath sucked.
34. You have no clue who Ritchie Blackmore or Michael Schenker are.
35. You think all fans of Iron Maiden are stuck in the 80's.
36. You have no clue what "Prog" means.
37. You actually like new Slayer.
38. You don't know that Def Leppard's first two albums were actually Metal.
39. You think that any notes/chords past the 6th fret, or first octave of a guitar are "gay".
40. You have spiky hair with frosted tips.
41. You consider yourself a huge fan of Machine Head, but have no idea who Violence are.
42. You think that Metalheads aren't supposed to like music that's not Metal.
43. When hearing an album and liking it, you refer to it as "phat".
44. You used to be an "alternative" or "thug" guy.
45. You think there is no festival more Metal than Ozzfest.
46. You think Hit Parader and Metal Edge are doing a good job at keeping Metal alive.
47. You think "Chaos A.D." and "Roots" are the best Sepultura albums.
48. In your mind, the more piercings and tattoos you have, the more Metal you are.
49. The only Black Sabbath songs you can think of are "Paranoid" and "Iron Man".
50. Most of your albums were bought at the local mall.
