Note on current state: halfway through first DB, quite dizzy. This beer is complete magic. The woman was going through old photos and found some of my old dog (died 5 years ago at the ripe old age of 17) and I got a little emotional, but I'm still sober enough to rebound quickly. Hopefully she hid the pictures well for when I'm alone tonight.
EDIT (the time stamp thingy says this post was created 2 hours ago):
Never have I had just one beer that has knocked me so thoroughly onto mine ass. I just awoke from what must have been at least an hour's worth of passedoutedness, only to run spinningly to the kitchen in order to chug as much water as possible along with inhaling every bit of pretzeled snack within reach of my daring fists. There are many hours left in the evening that I could drink more, but I know that nothing will recreate the massive buzz I had shortly before passing out. I could not move, but my mind was wild, even if a bit blurry. Any further attempt this evening at drunkedness will surely lead to a full stomach, headache, and thoughts of "why couldn't you be like your brother?!" to the next brew of choice. Thankfully I purchased two bottles, until next time!