1.) The military will give me a sweet assed job. I have a college degree, and Im either going to join the Airforce or the Navy. They'll put me to good use.
Yeh, good use as in another pawn
2.) forces me to get in shape. I've been working out 4 days a week for the last 3 months, and my goal is to be in tip-top shape by May.
Yeh, they'll get you in shape alright, most likely in the fetal position on the floor as you're shot at or maybe in the shape of a casket
I hear Iraq and Afghanistan are nice this time of year
4.) I want a job that pays well (the US defense budget is ridiculous and I want my fucking piece of that pie)
There are other good jobs out there that don't require you to risk your life, that's what I learned. I mean you're not guaranteed combat but it is a possibility. The military likes to trick you into thinking they'll set you up for life but the real think is that is only true if you survive the shitstorm they put you through and by that time you're too fucked up mentally to care anymore. Trust me, I almost joined the military when I was 16, thank god I didn't... luckily I was physically shown the error of my ways by my dad but
I wanted to kill some fucking terrorists back then, but as a poor working class motherfucker I fell for all the bullshit.
5.) I want to meet new people. Im tired of being a townie hanging out with the same boring people day in and day out
Again, there are other ways to do that. I mean yes, signing up for some pussy job in the military will make that happen but it won't be all leisure, and you'll get harassed a lot by the real soldiers
6.) I want to prove to the ex-cunt that I'm better off without her.
Joining the army to piss off you ex, yeh that'll show her, specially if you end up dead. Good idea
!
No. Not everyone in the military gets shipped off to the middle east...and even if I am, I'll be in the airforce or the navy (far away from "the shit".) Im a super pussy and have no intentions of getting myself shot at in the name of a bunch of bullshit i don't stand for.
If that's true then the army isn't for you, no matter what you think.