Question for the Guys

[nomana-nuniyan]

Have you ever been dating some girl and found out that you were just a tool, being used as a weapon by this person, against another guy? You found out that this was a chronic behavior by this girl because she was so insecure that she didn't think she could hold a man in her own right. More than that, was she, if there were problems in her relationship, not able to stand out on her own and be vunerable to a man and show her needs directly unaided by any security blankets (e.i. NOT using unspoken pressure threats in lieu of telling the truth about her feelings... and assuming she is complex enough to have needs or feelings that weren't utterly mind-numbingly trivial), because it was just to frightening for her? So her tactic was to use men as weapons against other men. Or even just look for problems with the guy that weren't there to justify her numbness, or inability to communicate, or protect her fragile insecure ego? (mind you, all this is assuming narcissism isn't the primary catalyst.)
And you were on one side or the other of this type of situation.

Have you ever been implicated in a situation like this?

Did you like this person a lot? Did you continue with it because you actually respected her?

If you were involved with some girl like this or had a female friend like this, did this person have a problem with always needing outside support from "friends" or "you" for every little irritation in their lives, like they could show no sense of dignity by standing on their own like an adult and handling it by themselves, emotionally or otherwise? Did you have difficulty respecting this lack of maturity in them?

Just wondering...

 

[Susie]

Rather serious for you this one trona, then again there was one post a while back you did and that was mmmm

 

[Ol' Dirty Bastard]

Bad Susie! Put the old pic back up.

 

[Bambi]

thats multiple questions

 

[Strangelight]

Have you ever been dating some girl and found out that you were just a tool, being used as a weapon by this person, against another guy? You found out that this was a chronic behavior by this girl because she was so insecure that she didn't think she could hold a man in her own right. More than that, was she, if there were problems in her relationship, not able to stand out on her own and be vunerable to a man and show her needs directly unaided by any security blankets (e.i. NOT using unspoken pressure threats in lieu of telling the truth about her feelings... and assuming she is complex enough to have needs or feelings that weren't utterly mind-numbingly trivial), because it was just to frightening for her? So her tactic was to use men as weapons against other men. Or even just look for problems with the guy that weren't there to justify her numbness, or inability to communicate, or protect her fragile insecure ego? (mind you, all this is assuming narcissism isn't the primary catalyst.)
And you were on one side or the other of this type of situation.

Have you ever been implicated in a situation like this?

Did you like this person a lot? Did you continue with it because you actually respected her?

If you were involved with some girl like this or had a female friend like this, did this person have a problem with always needing outside support from "friends" or "you" for every little irritation in their lives, like they could show no sense of dignity by standing on their own like an adult and handling it by themselves, emotionally or otherwise? Did you have difficulty respecting this lack of maturity in them?

Just wondering...

Loads of girls pull that shit all the time

 

[marginalé]

Have you ever been dating some girl ..

No.

 

[my dying groom]

Now there's a man with principles.

 

[nomana-nuniyan]

Loads of girls pull that shit all the time

Really? That's pathetic.

 

[Strangelight]

Really? That's pathetic.

Aye, its all too common

 

[Don Corleone]

"So her tactic was to use men as weapons against other men"


could almost be a generalisation about women. so common among pretty, beautiful women.

on the other hand the not-so-pretty, and bluntly, ugly ones are very loyal and sincere.

this is what it all boils down to.

wits and beauty. when a woman knows she has both, it's inevitable for her to become a femme fatale.

 

[nomana-nuniyan]

"So her tactic was to use men as weapons against other men"


could almost be a generalisation about women. so common among pretty, beautiful women.

on the other hand the not-so-pretty, and bluntly, ugly ones are very loyal and sincere.

this is what it all boils down to.

wits and beauty. when a woman knows she has both, it's inevitable for her to become a femme fatale.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Except for the fact that that isn't even remotely what i said. Nor is it what I'm referring to. What I said was that it was born of insecurities and immaturity. Someone who doesn't think she can hold a man. She has serious mental problems. And she is average in appearance, at best.

Remember, many average and ugly girls spread because this is all they can know of men and the only way they can get attention from men.
And I'm not talking about fuck buddies, but for anybody who will watch. this isn't femme fatalism, it's insecurity.

And I'm not insinuating that the contrary behavior to this being fidelity, but instead being on the up and up, because that's a normal, dignified, and fair way to act; about being a civilized, mature human being free of pathologies surrounding your interactions with people in real life.

Narcissism is a pathology. Having fucked up behavior in regards to other peoples lives and time is a pathology. Inability to communicate properly can become pathological in some people, this case being one. This person has a track record of not being able to hold men, with good reason. Simply, her ethics suck, if not completely absent. Nor does she see value in much of anything or anyone at all. Even her son is starting to have problems with violence because of her lack of parenting skills, her immaturity, whining, and selfishness. This is what kids do when they know they have to be steady for an unstable parent, they can become a stable parental figure for the parent, or "friend" of the parent, both of which are not good, but also can have these kinds of acting out problems.


That's the reality.


This is what I said.....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Have you ever been dating some girl and found out that you were just a tool, being used as a weapon by this person, against another guy? You found out that this was a chronic behavior by this girl because she was so insecure that she didn't think she could hold a man in her own right. More than that, was she, if there were problems in her relationship, not able to stand out on her own and be vunerable to a man and show her needs directly unaided by any security blankets (e.i. NOT using unspoken pressure threats in lieu of telling the truth about her feelings... and assuming she is complex enough to have needs or feelings that weren't utterly mind-numbingly trivial), because it was just to frightening for her? So her tactic was to use men as weapons against other men. Or even just look for problems with the guy that weren't there to justify her numbness, or inability to communicate, or protect her fragile insecure ego? (mind you, all this is assuming narcissism isn't the primary catalyst.)
And you were on one side or the other of this type of situation.

Have you ever been implicated in a situation like this?

Did you like this person a lot? Did you continue with it because you actually respected her?

If you were involved with some girl like this or had a female friend like this, did this person have a problem with always needing outside support from "friends" or "you" for every little irritation in their lives, like they could show no sense of dignity by standing on their own like an adult and handling it by themselves, emotionally or otherwise? Did you have difficulty respecting this lack of maturity in them?

Just wondering...

 

[Andy_2003]

I have a girl who is nothing like all that, she's loyal and all that, and she's pretty too, i'm lucky to say the least

 

[Andy_2003]

shame about her mother, but hey, something always spoils it

 

[nomana-nuniyan]

Yes you are lucky, Andy.

Anyways, this friend of mine was at one time involved with her, but he really couldn't get with this behavior of hers, the lies and bullshit for the long hall, and all the crap friends of hers, (not his style AT ALL), so they remaind distant friends at this point.

She would claim it was her doing when it wasn't at all, (a typical kind of self lie she does) but that's not the way things go with this guy.

He's the kind of guy that if he wants someone and saw them as truely valuable to him overall, he will have them one way or another in his life, eventually.

 

[marginalé]

Now there's a man with principles.

 

[StevenK]

guys can do it too

 

[blackeyed]

Women are the shits. End of.

 

[The Drama Stabber]

That´s just the common superficial drama isn´t it?

 

[Andy_2003]

Women are the shits. End of.

what, you mean like diarrhoea? isn't it?

 

[amusing Death:)(]

Sometimes they are really the shits...sometimes,but more than usual they are not.It's the question of your wishes.I had fucked all last summer for one of really...bitches.Her eyes,,her smile,...all this shit is really shit,when you don't understand the only reason of relationship.While i was talking about different shit ,she offered sex to the best my friends.They fucked she off.Principles and etc..It's a pity , I just didn't know ,that the only reason was sex....anal sex .The worse thing in it , which usual happens, is quarrel with a friend.All this shit means the only conclusion:the best in relationships is knowledge of its truly base.SEX-love-SEX.It's the fact.