say something about ... yourself!
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Viking Bastard
perfecterror
Member
@Shpongled: So sorry to hear about Spike. he looks so beautiful in the photos, I know he had an amazing life. RIP Spike.
Enemy242
Member
ugh, my best friend is a girl and we've been friends since I was like 13 and I've always had a crush on her but for the past couple years or so my feelings have gotten pretty intense. It fucking sucks because we're pretty fucking alike, think the same and know each other so much we often know what the other is going to do/say, have a lot of the same interests (or if they're different can still talk/share in them), have tons of fun when we talk (literally every day) and hang out, can share anything and get along ridiculously well. I also think she's really attractive so all those combine to the point where I'm really into her and care far too considering the situation (she thinks of me as that extremely close friend, like a brother and doesn't have an attraction to me).
I wish I could just turn the feelings off because talking to her, hanging out with her and just knowing she's always there is a great feeling and being friends with her is a huge part of my life and I'd hate to see it ruined by awkwardness or me blurting out how I feel and stuff like that.
What the fuck can I do to make that stop? It's affected my relationships with girls because whenever I think about asking someone out I feel like it'd be a jerk thing to do considering in the back of my mind I know I really want to be with her. Not only that but it's starting to just get me down in general because I know I want to be friends with her but it's getting so much harder as we get so close it's basically like we know each other completely and I like or at least can appreciate most aspects of her personality. This horrible feeling just randomly pops up in me when I'm talking to her and I feel like a jerk also because I judge all her boyfriends so much (probably because I'm secretly jealous and tbh they all do treat her not the way she should be treated) yet when I'm hanging out with her a lot of the time I feel none of that and just have some of the best times I've had.
Guys or girls, whoever can help, what the fuck can I do? Today I kinda ignored her/didn't talk to her but not in a cold shoulder/jerk way, just a sort of I'm busy and not around way but even then I still get reminded of her because I'm so used to talking to her. Have any of you girls had this problem with guys you know have feelings for you but you don't etc? Is there any chance she could someday be into me? I do fill out a lot of things she likes/wants in a guy but she just isn't interested or is too much of a friend. How can I make this stop? I'd appreciate any help but I know it's a long post (it's a serious fucking deal for me haha) so if you don't want to help that's cool but again any help (especially from girls who can relate) would seriously be amazing.
I wish I could just turn the feelings off because talking to her, hanging out with her and just knowing she's always there is a great feeling and being friends with her is a huge part of my life and I'd hate to see it ruined by awkwardness or me blurting out how I feel and stuff like that.
What the fuck can I do to make that stop? It's affected my relationships with girls because whenever I think about asking someone out I feel like it'd be a jerk thing to do considering in the back of my mind I know I really want to be with her. Not only that but it's starting to just get me down in general because I know I want to be friends with her but it's getting so much harder as we get so close it's basically like we know each other completely and I like or at least can appreciate most aspects of her personality. This horrible feeling just randomly pops up in me when I'm talking to her and I feel like a jerk also because I judge all her boyfriends so much (probably because I'm secretly jealous and tbh they all do treat her not the way she should be treated) yet when I'm hanging out with her a lot of the time I feel none of that and just have some of the best times I've had.
Guys or girls, whoever can help, what the fuck can I do? Today I kinda ignored her/didn't talk to her but not in a cold shoulder/jerk way, just a sort of I'm busy and not around way but even then I still get reminded of her because I'm so used to talking to her. Have any of you girls had this problem with guys you know have feelings for you but you don't etc? Is there any chance she could someday be into me? I do fill out a lot of things she likes/wants in a guy but she just isn't interested or is too much of a friend. How can I make this stop? I'd appreciate any help but I know it's a long post (it's a serious fucking deal for me haha) so if you don't want to help that's cool but again any help (especially from girls who can relate) would seriously be amazing.
ShadowsWithin
Member
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Viking Bastard
Obviously I'm no ladies man, although I have gotten a lot better since I was introduced to PUA.
But coming from a dude with a lifetime of experience with female "friends", I can say the chances of her having that kind of interest in you are slim and none, especially given how long you've been friends. Telling her is usually a bad move too, it usually causes them to greatly reduce contact, although it won't seem like it at first.
It's a bad position. I'm grateful for the female friends I have, but I no longer let any woman put me in that position. Oddly enough, the last time a girl told me I was "like a brother to her", I told her I didn't want to be around her anymore. And bam, attraction, and some action.
But coming from a dude with a lifetime of experience with female "friends", I can say the chances of her having that kind of interest in you are slim and none, especially given how long you've been friends. Telling her is usually a bad move too, it usually causes them to greatly reduce contact, although it won't seem like it at first.
It's a bad position. I'm grateful for the female friends I have, but I no longer let any woman put me in that position. Oddly enough, the last time a girl told me I was "like a brother to her", I told her I didn't want to be around her anymore. And bam, attraction, and some action.
Liverslapper
w00t
You want some tips on how to get a lady in Houston? Treat her like shit. They like dem hardc0re bitchez.
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Viking Bastard
...You mean it's not like that in other places?
God, it's so true. Every single woman here wants to be treated like shit. I really need to move. =/
God, it's so true. Every single woman here wants to be treated like shit. I really need to move. =/
Shpongled
Member
- Aug 30, 2001
- 13,488
- 91
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Andrew your post is threadworthy. It'd probably get a lot of replies with good advice and maybe some (potentially cruel) jokes and then once it served it's purpose would deviate to pork chat. It would have "epic" written all over it.
Come on man, do the right thing for all of us. Make this a thread!
Dreadful
When Man& Machine Collide
Just to check and make sure my facts are right or wrong: Is the reason a girl likes a dude (who ignores them) because they want what's a challenge to have, something that's a bit harder to grasp hence more "value," a guy who has the sack to stand up and say "no" to them and put himself before them, being ignored makes them feel less the "controller" of the relationship and more the girl in the presence of someone powerful?
Enemy242
Member
I doubt i'd ever be able to be with her especially after this long and I'm completely happy being friends with her because she's an amazing person, I just want to somehow block out any feelings beyond being close friends if that can't happen because they're fucking everything up. if i don't get any ideas i guess i'll just try to distance myself from her for a while and see if that helps at all, if not i'm just fucked.
nah, if anyone has any advice/experience with this and wants to help me they could respond here and i'd really appreciate it; a thread is a little bit too much of a spectacle whereas here if no one can/wants to help it'll just fade into the giant thread but a whole topic for it is a little too much haha
nah, if anyone has any advice/experience with this and wants to help me they could respond here and i'd really appreciate it; a thread is a little bit too much of a spectacle whereas here if no one can/wants to help it'll just fade into the giant thread but a whole topic for it is a little too much haha
Shpongled
Member
- Aug 30, 2001
- 13,488
- 91
- 48
That's exactly what I'm saying! You'll get the advice and we'll get the LOLs
Seriously though, I don't know what to tell you about your situation. I think it might be like quitting smoking. The first step is actually wanting to quit. The analogy would be that in order for you shake those emotions you need to genuinely want to never be with her. As long as you ultimately want to be more than friends with her, you'll have those feelings.
p.s. What happened with the chick you asked out from your gym or whatever?
Enemy242
Member
Yeah I guess that's the problem, I love being her friend and just having her in my life but a part of me wants to be more than friends and that part is just consuming the other parts and pushing them. I want to shut it out but I don't know if that's even possible, I don't believe you can choose who you have feelings for so even if I want to be just really close friends my subconscious is always going to push for something else. Ugh.
In regards to the other girl,I had asked her out and she said she was down and we were talking for a while but then she said she couldn't make it for a reason that I forget, then when I asked her another time she said she was sick etc. I planned on asking her out again but this was around the time of finals and I was so busy (and she was really into school so I'm sure she was extremellyyy busy) that I didn't have time to do anything and being the 3rd time I'd be asking her out I got kinda discouraged. Now I can again but it's been so long that I'm worried it'd seem weird and I'm basically making excuses not to do it. I know it's really fucking lame but I'm nervous about rejection since it was hard to ask her out in the first place and then have it fall through those times was bad as well.
I almost feel like I should go back to just not trying to meet people because it was so much easier when I didn't worry about any relationships; I don't ever talk about this kind of stuff and if there's one thing I DONT want to do it's turn into "that guy" who's constantly posting about his personal failures and such all the time haha
In regards to the other girl,I had asked her out and she said she was down and we were talking for a while but then she said she couldn't make it for a reason that I forget, then when I asked her another time she said she was sick etc. I planned on asking her out again but this was around the time of finals and I was so busy (and she was really into school so I'm sure she was extremellyyy busy) that I didn't have time to do anything and being the 3rd time I'd be asking her out I got kinda discouraged. Now I can again but it's been so long that I'm worried it'd seem weird and I'm basically making excuses not to do it. I know it's really fucking lame but I'm nervous about rejection since it was hard to ask her out in the first place and then have it fall through those times was bad as well.
I almost feel like I should go back to just not trying to meet people because it was so much easier when I didn't worry about any relationships; I don't ever talk about this kind of stuff and if there's one thing I DONT want to do it's turn into "that guy" who's constantly posting about his personal failures and such all the time haha
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Viking Bastard
Morbides
Member
- Dec 8, 2007
- 3,370
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Also, RIP to my buddy Spike. He belonged to the founder of our jiu-jitsu club and lived at the dojo. He was one of the most awesome cats ever. He played rough and generally drew blood on all the new friends he'd make, but he was always a sweetheart and very loyal to those of us that he'd see every day at the dojo. We found him in a closet after practice last night with his legs spread out and his face buried into the corner. He was still alive but it was obvious what we had to do. He was 17 years old and had just about as exciting and adventurous a life that a cat can have. Lame way to end the night for sure. This month has been pure shit.
RIP Spike
RIP
:/
@Andrew: Whatever you try won't work in the beginning. Needs time. Really all there is to it.
Oh what a weird December this has been. Guys, get well!
Liverslapper
w00t
Dead_Lioness
Godless
+1 ...and a doggie :/
Sorry about this crappy week and Spike, Kev Kev
*C&H hug*
Jace_Mereel
Freakame, Freakayou!
Krigloch the Furious
Pants full of poo
WhiteBeastofWotan
Apostitutes!
This deserves to be posted here, too. And look! It's my fishy, Boch!
Rancors love belgian sours.
