Self inflicted cuts

ouagadougou said:
just talk to my ex boyfriend :) he cut himself really bad last night. cause of me of course. :) how fun is that?
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Not cause of you. Cause of a defect that he has. He may want to blame you, and tell you it's because of you, but it's not your fault. He will cut and blame everyone else but himself.

That's very selfish and self-destructive. Just as much that you aren't at fault, you can't really help him either. By allowing it to affect you, if you do, you only give him reason to do it next time it suits his fancy.

He needs medical help.
 
xenophobe said:
Not cause of you. Cause of a defect that he has. He may want to blame you, and tell you it's because of you, but it's not your fault. He will cut and blame everyone else but himself.

That's very selfish and self-destructive. Just as much that you aren't at fault, you can't really help him either. By allowing it to affect you, if you do, you only give him reason to do it next time it suits his fancy.

He needs medical help.
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thank you.

i have told him to get help, many times, and i'm not the only person telling him that, but he just won't get any. he says i'm the only person he can talk to, so he uses me as his therapist. it has been going on since we broke up a month and a half ago, on a daily basis. and it is kinda my fault, since i left him and made him lonely. he keeps texting me about his loneliness and sadness and depression. he says he'd be happy again if we could just get back together. he constantly makes me feel like shit and i've asked him to stop many times.

:erk:
 
It's not your fault you left him lonely,he was already lonely and is one of those people who needs others to comfort them and can't find any happiness by themselves.
Tell him to fuck the hell off from you if he makes you feel bad,he's a fucking asshole who deserves to be beaten until he's bleeding.
 
Ouga... i'll tell you one thing... nothign is your fault, and if he is trying to make you feel like shit, than tell him to fuck off... to tell you the truth, the first serious relationship that I was kicked out of, I did he same thing to the chick... it was fucked up of me, but I can tell you, he is just trying to guilt you into thinking it was you who fucked up in the relationship, and if he guilts you enough, he will get back together with you.... he just does not know yet that it will be a lot harder, and the possibility of a real freindship is made impossible by the road he is goign down.
 
ouagadougou said:
thank you.

i have told him to get help, many times, and i'm not the only person telling him that, but he just won't get any. he says i'm the only person he can talk to, so he uses me as his therapist. it has been going on since we broke up a month and a half ago, on a daily basis. and it is kinda my fault, since i left him and made him lonely. he keeps texting me about his loneliness and sadness and depression. he says he'd be happy again if we could just get back together. he constantly makes me feel like shit and i've asked him to stop many times.

:erk:
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It's NOT your fault that you don't see him as someone you want to be with. That's life, and that just happens. What he IS doing is using any friendship that he might have with you, and using it to hold you hostage.

It's not your fault he's lonely, and it's not your fault that you decided to break up with him. It's his fault for making you think that, and it's his fault that he does nothing but use this as a false pretense and bring you down, trying to make you feel responsible for HIS problems.

He says HE would be happy again, but would you? Your concern as a friend is only to wish him happiness, not sacrifice yours for his. He is being selfish and apparently doesn't really care how he makes you feel, as you say he constantly blames you. If you really made him feel that way, any normal person would not want to be back in a relationship like that. Especially with someone "as horrible" as he would tell you that you are to him.

If he's local to you, you really need to tell his parents or inform the authorities. Continuing a relationship with him, or anyone with such problems, on ANY level is not a good idea. Things can only get worse, not better. Having you around as a reminder of what he wants, and you being around for him to still obsess over will only cause him more pain the longer this stretches out.
 
thank you everyone *dishes out hugs*

xenophobe said:
It's NOT your fault that you don't see him as someone you want to be with. That's life, and that just happens. What he IS doing is using any friendship that he might have with you, and using it to hold you hostage.

It's not your fault he's lonely, and it's not your fault that you decided to break up with him. It's his fault for making you think that, and it's his fault that he does nothing but use this as a false pretense and bring you down, trying to make you feel responsible for HIS problems.

He says HE would be happy again, but would you? Your concern as a friend is only to wish him happiness, not sacrifice yours for his. He is being selfish and apparently doesn't really care how he makes you feel, as you say he constantly blames you. If you really made him feel that way, any normal person would not want to be back in a relationship like that. Especially with someone "as horrible" as he would tell you that you are to him.
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yea, true. thank you :)

If he's local to you, you really need to tell his parents or inform the authorities. Continuing a relationship with him, or anyone with such problems, on ANY level is not a good idea. Things can only get worse, not better. Having you around as a reminder of what he wants, and you being around for him to still obsess over will only cause him more pain the longer this stretches out.
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yea, you're right about that. i will keep my distance. and i hope he will too. well, he hasn't called me, nor texted me in 2 days, so we're making progress :p

i wouldn't wanna tell his parents, though. i'd feel stupid doing that, since he is 24 :p
 
ouagadougou said:
yea, you're right about that. i will keep my distance. and i hope he will too. well, he hasn't called me, nor texted me in 2 days, so we're making progress :p

i wouldn't wanna tell his parents, though. i'd feel stupid doing that, since he is 24 :p
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Well, if he keeps on bugging you and keeps on cutting himself, you may need to.
 
I used to do it a year ago, it wasn't for attention, as I kept them hidden. I felt it was just some stupid teen thing and I stopped because I just told myself how dumb it was. I did it for a bunch of reasons, and this year (especially since I've stopped) I feel a lot happier.

manuelgv, I wrote a paper on this (cutting, suicide, depression) if you want me to send it to you (via email) I can do that.
 
ouagadougou said:
thank you everyone *dishes out hugs*

yea, true. thank you :)

yea, you're right about that. i will keep my distance. and i hope he will too. well, he hasn't called me, nor texted me in 2 days, so we're making progress :p

i wouldn't wanna tell his parents, though. i'd feel stupid doing that, since he is 24 :p
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tellin his parents is probably the best plan, if he was what i call a "genuine" harmer then he'd get really upset @ first then thank you in the long run. elsewise, he's being a knobend and telling his parents might snap him out of his wallowing in self pity.

and it is NOT YOUR FAULT

also, barnolde, good 4 u bein strong enough 2 snap out of it, i wasnt so lucky bt its sorted now. i wrote an essay on harming from my point of view, but i dunno if it'll be of any use. msg me if u want it

kisses n pixiedust
 
he just mailed :eek: the mail was something like "OH MY GOD ULLA i am so sorry! oh shit i hate myself so much for treating you like that! i shouldn't have! i should die for being such an asshole. i'm not asking for forgiveness, and i understand if you hate me now. sorry, i crossed the line. i just had to try my best to get you back, cause i love you so fucking much. but now i realize i did the exact thing i shouldn't have done. sorry ulla, good luck with your finals"

i mailed "it's ok. and thanks."

:eek:

i am VERY sure he's gonna leave me be now.
 
If he doesn't leave you hand me his home address and I'll go over there since like 4 of my friends plan on going to ye old world this summer and we'll beat him up
 
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