Song Parodies

[Dark_Jester]

After talking to Mikael on the chat session this evening I decided to revive my making on song parodies. If anyone has any songs they want done, or wants to add their own, feel free

First up, a remake of 'Punish My Heaven':

We are the gnarled old fingers
That stroke our bearded chins

The strangeness of awakening
In a bizarre underworld
Breathlessly waiting
For the weakest excuse to fight
As the orcs fail to show up
And the demons never call
The enemy forsaken me
My desperation grows

Bring me a knife
an axe, a sword, a boomerang
And then again, while you're at it
Polish my weapon!

We have survived
By picking fights with ogres
But charging at minotaurs
At breakneck speed I know
Will probably be my fall

If I had wings, would I fight with pigeons
If I had horns, would I just be full of bull?Answering machine messages are heard
From mages and ifrits
Saying 'sorry mate
couldnt make it'

Bring me a knife
an axe, a sword, a boomerang
And then again, while you're at it
Polish my weapon!

The charge of a minotaur
Charging back was probably a mistake
I challenge the universe
It's the choice between that and learning to spell

I could have been a lawyer I guess
A safe job with a nice end
But did I had to be a viking, although why I'll never tell
I curse Valhalla behind me
As a new thought finally sinks through
Why the hell am I doing this?
As I hear my death knell

Give each orc that stood me up
A lifetime or two in hell
By Grolm's beard
I'll do it myself as well
And as coherent thought commands me
to brush my goddamned hair
To a job center I will go!

 

[Dark_Jester]

And Undo Control:

there were words of lust
in these arms of a stranger
thought i knew her though but now cant seem to remember
so im thinking thoughts of madness
that ravage my wrecked braincells
in this the happy hour

women drugs and alcohol
women drugs and alcohol
women drugs and alcohol
women drugs and alcohol

I used to be known for excellence
Now I can't even spell it
Its not only an addiction
But an ever-growing need
Now the room is really spinning
I throw my weight on the other side
The otherside

(Chorus)

Im slippin around like its mid-December
Balancing on the verge
I love this girl, and this stranger here
And that guy who was in 'Westminster'I'm outta control
Beyond all proportion
But it's been a great night,
So pour me another

(Chorus)

The mother of hangovers
Has now entered
In return
I stumble out blindly
Into the night

I'm outta control
Beyond all proportion
But it's been a great night
So pour me another

 

[Dark_Jester]

Day to End:

waitin for this song to end
the end nowhere in sight
im goin out of my mind
close the doors, prevent the sound to enter

coz im turnin the volume down
this song is just so monstorous,
a filler in between
taint the album
the trauma born inside

all the songs you could just write
tread water again
take this song away
feels as though
this one track
never seems to end

coz im turnin the volume down
this song is just so monstorous,
a filler in between
taint the album
the trauma born inside

 

[Dark_Jester]

Iced Earth - Dracula:

Do you believe in 'roz'
Do you believe in conspiracies?
A true story like this, comes only once in a thousand headlines.
In JFK I believed...they took it from me
I wanted its closure, I wanted its peace

When I close my eyes,
I can see Roswell it comforts me
When I close my eyes,
Truth cuts like a knife

The Triangle is rife! And the cynics I defy!
My sworn enemy, its true hear me!

Is this my reward for reading News of the World?
The words I've absorbed, although my toes curled?
To laugh at me a disgrace I'll set fire to your place
To say there was no Lidburg baby, a blasphemy!I avenge with falsehoods, the aliens in my life
The Order of the Illuminati, I don't have a human wife

There are far worse things awaiting man than death
If you don't believe what I have seen
I'm spreading my heresies
Like the one about the werewolf wild
The human race will see, they will serve my need.

[Pre-chorus]
I avenge with falsehoods, the aliens in my life
The Order of the Illuminati, I don't have a human wife

[Chorus]
I am the Conspiracy god, a relentless prince of lame
Renouncing the press on its throne
My name is forever stained

For 'true' stories I shall avenge
I defy the cover-ups that damned me

 

[Dark_Jester]

In Flames - Only for the Weak

I can't tolerate this headache
Cause I find it so annoying
I can't find my happiness
And every time you laugh, I feel so
(feel so)
ANGRY!
I FEEL SO ANGRY!

Am I forced to go and see a vet
Coz the NHS is crap, even though its free
In my strange old mind
I'll take the advice that you gave to me

So give me the prescription...its only for the week
Don't give me your sympathy, just give the morphine to me!

I've lost the ability to look at the clouds
Coz this headache sets me writhing
I'm stuck in this dark room all day
Coz everytime I turn on the light, I go
(I go)
Blind
I GO BLIND!!!

Am I forced to go and see a vet
Coz the NHS is crap, even though its free
In my strange old mind
I'll take the advice that you gave to me

So give me the prescription...its only for the week
Don't give me your sympathy, just give the morphine to me!
I need it now, so don't be late!

And so I hear your voice again
You're making me angry, you bastard of a man
Can't you see that I'm not very well?
Shove it you nonce just go to hell

So give me the prescription...its only for the week
Don't give me your sympathy, just give the morphine to me!

 

[Dark_Jester]

In Flames: Cloud Connected

People like you
You have broadband
You like to download
AND YOU PIRATE MY SONGS!

It's in my dream
There's just one question
I should be thrilled
But I hate your damned kind!

Sick and tired
Of all these restraints
This is the queued song
I'm bringing down

I've come to realise
You download bunnies are a plague
You said you shared but you lied
Now when least expected, disconnected

You seem to be
So overrated
How come we fail?
With all that is given?

You crossed the line
You search for my name
Queue time expands
But you broadband bastards are willin' to stay

I've come to realise
You download bunnies are a plague
You said you shared but you lied
Now when least expected, disconnected

More to come soon

 

[Steve]

*rep*

 

[Malaclypse]

DJ you rule (sometimes )

 

[Tebus]

Haha... awesome.

 

[Siren]

Hours Passed In Exile

What if:
a) some engines are destined to failure
b) some wheels are never meant to steer
c) someone never sees
d) the door never opens
e) somehow our cars are different

Though I never claimed i can drive
give to me the benefit of doubt

I brought you green lights
that you put out
I passed with yellows
for I cannot live without
I came with madness
but this your fragile heart can't bear

What of the times in service
what of the hours passed
what if car-crashes seem too trivial

You can never tell me I'm wrong
a ticket i've payed so long

I brought you green lights
that you put out
I passed with yellows
for I cannot live without
I came with fastness
but this your fragile heart can't bear

So what if repairing takes forever
so what if time is meant for losers
so what is left is but a shatter
and what is broken can't be whole

What is broken can't be fixed again

 

[Steve]

 

[Northern Lights]

D_J, 'tis wonderful!

 

[Wolfman Von Jones]

Ben,

You and your thread both suck a large amount of penis. Please delete it, and go eat some asbestos .

Nick

 

[Dark_Jester]

Thanks Nick, you festering sore on the face of humanity, your words of biting criticism once again show your insane levels of jealousy for me and my abilities. One day, you might be able to play on my level.
Maybe

 

[Dark_Jester]

Iron Maiden - Run to the Hills

White man sailing across the sea
Motion sickness brings him misery
Throwing up over the side
Projectile so forceful it caused us to hide.

We thought he was sick we thought him unwell
This seems to be his own personal hell
For many months the crew has sought
Oh will we ever reach port?

Sailing through storms and the crashing of waves
Repairing a mast that our lives will save
Emptying water out of the holes
In the stern that threatens our souls
Throwing men in liferafts and possessions in sacks
Thunder and lightning and oceans attack

Run for your pills sail for your lives
Run for your pills sail for your lives

Water blue covers the shipwreck wastes
Hunting and killing the lame
Stealing the treasure and drowning the men
The only survivors are left insane
We lost all our whisky and lost all the gold
Ensnaring the young and claiming the old

Run for your pills sail for your lives

 

[Salamurhaaja]

 

[Hiljainen]

 

[Siren]

Ben you rule

 

[Naku ist krig]

I try also, though Ben has better ones:

Amon Amarth - Down The Slopes Of Death

Behind the slopes of bed he hides
The eighth ball pounds like drum
Nudity reigns the crumbling man
Liberation has begun

Field of babes greets his eye
He smells the excitement
Of man´s nightly crusade
It can drive a man to nearest shop

All enemies flee his spear
Doesnt bow just stands erect
Big Daddy rides out on fields and hears
When mount sounds the alarm

But on the field waits his fate
Foretold in ancient times
A beast with smelly yellow teeth
And blazing horny yes

Tomorrow he won´t use his shelter
This man who´s broke
His child will avenge his stinginess
And social-workers call

He knows what is to come
No use to try and hold
What is to be, let it be done!
What is to be, let it be done!

Today he'll use his final thing
but the damage is already done
His gadget doesn´t mind at all
and speeds like a mule

Behind the wall of neighbor he hides
The heart pounds like drum
When kind-ladies try to find him
Alimonies have begun

Into the south to the next town he rode
All eight balls got it alright
Red shade on his cheeks now reigns
New act has begun

 

[Dark_Jester]

RealHazardude: Nice one, I like it, come join my parody band

Siren: You're in (urine?) too