Stupid cats

[azistenostora]

I really don't know what to do with them. In my area I seem to be the only one who doesn't have any, I can't stand them, I am more a 'dog person'.
So all the cats from the neighbourhood decide to use my garden as a toilet.
Sometimes I get so annoyed that I feel like shooting the fuckers with something.
Question: what can you do to chase them off (so they ideally never return)?
I tried everything from throwing bricks at them -clarification: throwing bricks in a figurative way, not the literal sense - to spraying them with water (I even made one jump into my pond once lol) but they don't seem to get the point. Ideas?
Oh yeah, getting a dog is not an option at the moment.

 

[~BURNY~]

Cats are generally fairly clean, they don't normally put their turds all over the place so my suggestion would be to throw a brick at your own face.

 

[azistenostora]

With all due respect, you should see my garden. They might be clean, but they still have to crap somewhere. And hitting their turds with the lawn mower is not a pleasant experience either.

 

[ratsapprentice]

Having animal shit everywhere is a fucking pain, but throwing bricks? really...?

Just get a cheap super soaker if it's really that much of a problem.

 

[paladin shredder]

motion sensor sprinklers

 

[Skinny Viking]

Cats are creatures of habit and complete, self-centered assholes. I know, I have 2

Doing the things you're doing won't help because they need to convince themselves that they don't want to go in your garden

Only suggestions would be spraying the perimeter of your garden with lots of lemon juice because they hate citrus smells or tossing lots of catnip in your neighbor's garden

The citrus might help, might not. Other than that you're boned. One other idea would be to check into those motion activated noise repellers. They set off a high pitched noise that only they can hear when they cross the motion detector. I don't think they're expensive so maybe you can check online or at your local pet store for something like that

Good luck and remember, on top of everything else, cats are also VERY vindictive animals

 

[DaveBlack]

aquire the urine of a very large animal and spread it around your yard.

 

[azistenostora]

Let me clarify, the 'throwing bricks at them' was more in a figurative sense. Of course I wouldn't throw bricks at anything living (I would be too scared I could actually hit them lol).
Hell, I even pick fucking spiders in the house up and put them outside instead of killing them.
That doesn't change the fact that I hate cats for crapping all over the place. I guess I am more annoyed with the fact, that old grandmas have about 10 of them and let them wander around. Whats the point in that?

 

[MindMunch]

-Pepper
-Sprinkle the area with 2 liters of water mixed with two spoons of strong mustard. There´s also many solutions on the market for this task, many of them with citrus odors
-ammonia also seems to repel them

cat piss stinks as hell.

 

[Schlumpfkralle]

Mh, Valerian could work? Spill some of it somewhere away from your garden.

 

[timmy_522]

Cats are generally fairly clean, they don't normally put their turds all over the place

generally, as in if the owner is responsible enough to keep the damn thing indoors. They are a threat to native wildlife and the sanity of your neighbours, and cannot be as easily contained within a yard as say a large dog could. I had cats all throughout my childhood and three years ago got a Golden Retreiver, now i could never go back to a cat. My dog is able to respond to both verbal and non-verbal commands, and isn't a complete asshat like most cats are. Dogs have masters, cats have servants.

OP try citronella crystals, dunno who would stock them locally maybe a vet or hardware store.

 

[Flat Fifth Fury]

We have a problem with feral cats in our neighborhood and we have aquired a powered coyote/fox urine called Shake Away that we get from critterrepellant.com. Stuff works. The cats to not like this stuff. Sprinkle some around the perimeter of your yard and kitties will leave you alone.

 

[DanLights]

I've always been a dog person, and I type this with a cat sitting on my lap, purring like a motherfucker. My mother's cat, who I'm keeping for a month till she comes back to take him away, but I might just tell her to fuck off and get a new one, both my wife and myself love having this harry bugger around.

 

[Clockwork]

 

[SocialNumb]

lol^

 

[onqel]

1) Make the cat come to you
2) Fasten a note to it, if it's wearing a collar, with a note saying something like "keep the cat inside, he's eating my rat poison"

 

[Sunny84]

Lol, my dads front garden seems to be the literal dumping ground for felines around our area! Our neighbours gardener's planted some plants (apparently meant to be unpleasant to em), that didnt work. Then tried "tiger poo", that didn't work...might just have to take a piss around the fron of the house meself, sure my folks will love that!

 

[azistenostora]

^ where did he get tiger poo from? I heard that lion piss is meant to keep them away but it's kind of hard get hold of where I live.

 

[DanLights]

Stupid cat is probably youtube video of the year for me

 

[Sunny84]

^ where did he get tiger poo from? I heard that lion piss is meant to keep them away but it's kind of hard get hold of where I live.

Dunno mate, he got it off next door's gardener after the plant didn't work. I'll ask next time I see him (I'm up in Newcastle so chances are there'll be a UK supplier or some shit)