Stupid Reviews

Onder said:
Let's post stupid or plain wrong reviews, comment on them and fight with each other as always. You're not allowed to agree with each other. You can only fight till death and internet honour.

I'll start.

Yours truly,
Onderp
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You are a gold finder :) The review you posted is one of the most amusing I ever read, or the quintessence of stupidity. I'm gonna look for some funny shit, too.
 
Onder said:
Yeah but that's why the scale is 0-100, not 30-90. That's why sites choose the average rating. I understand why people rate something 0 if they just don't find any quality in the music and if they exaplain why it's offensive (as the Pantera disser did). I find it more explicable to rate something zero than to rate something 100/100 tbh.
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They're both extreme decisions, however a 0 is more telling of someone that can't make any objective assessments .
 
I thought the first review Onder posted was quite hilarious, but don't you think he was just being comical? I didn't get the feeling that he was being serious.
 
-CyanideChrist- said:
I thought the first review Onder posted was quite hilarious, but don't you think he was just being comical? I didn't get the feeling that he was being serious.
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I hope the one on Illus that JAGE posted was sarcastic, but who knows these days. I don't know the guy who wrote the DSO review but guys apparently do.
 
Pretty sure Kruel's DSO review was entirely serious. His forum posts there don't indicate otherwise, and he's given out several amusing 0%'s. This one is pretty funny too.
 
Master_Yoda77 said:
Any given review on MA is going to be shitty.
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+1000

So many people wasting so much time when writing 10000 sentences on why they think an album sucks, in the end the joke will always be on them miserable fucks.

There are shitloads of stupid "reviews" everywhere. Its when you read stuff like that you end up thinking twice about freedom of speech. RYM got some idiots too:


The user soulfly86 has the worst of the worst:

Morbid Saint - Spectrum of Death

0.5/5
A complete mockery for whiplashed retards. This dual-chord riffing fest of an album will hopefully cause a few broken necks so as to make more room for nature.

Eb E Eb E Eb E Eb E Eb

Carcass - Necroticism - Descanting the Insalubrious

0.5/5
I must say that this particular album is greatly overrated by all my current metalhead RYM friends, with the exception of Hippocampus, who seems to clean his ears more regularly (read: listens to a significantly lower quantity of bands which cloned each other over several generations, thus still discerns audio poo from music).

Here, Carcass enters their death 'n' roll era, one characterized by their losing touch of anything deeply metal and its replacement by emotional, directionless rock music disguised as death/grind.
 
I really hate when someone gives a review on m-a with a total score of 0-20% and they make the fucking review 10 paragraphs long to justify it. Surely if the album evoked that much thought... there's something there more than straight negativity.
 
0% reviews are generally intended to draw attention to the reviewer himself rather than the album, I notice.
 
^I also prefer Slaughter of the Soul over The Red in the Sky Is Ours. But I can see your point when comparing the reviews.

Dodens Grav said:
0% reviews are generally intended to draw attention to the reviewer himself rather than the album, I notice.
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Spot on.
 
Avigrus said:
I just hate it when someone gives an album 0% - people that hate a band and review the album just to give it 0% and reduce the average rating - i suppose it's the same as fanboys giving 100% but it still fucking shits me.
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To be honest I dont know if I have heard any album ever that would deserve a 0% rating. Even the most appalling stuff I have heard could probably garner a few percent. In general I feel that places such as metal archives (and imdb when it comes to films) attract people who are extreme in one way or another. Either they want to really praise the album or they want to bury it.

In a way I can understand fan-boyism. Some people feel a strong connection to a band and they cant escape that - and really why should they? If they love it they love it. I have a harder time understanding the people who hate certain bands but also takes time to listen to the album, writing a hate filled review and then give it 0%.

Really Im not hugely into being a fan boy but I can recognize that kind of feeling. I never, however, feel hate towards any band and I dont think I ever have. Its just alien to me.
 
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