Stupid shit you've heard drunk people say

Feraliminal Lycanthropizer

Feraliminal Lycanthropizer

.
Feb 29, 2004
771
0
16
LAND OF MANSEX
Inspired by people who make other people go straight edge.


"When I look into this mirror, I dont see me, I see...this song"

"Fuck the French" (every five minutes, like its a new catch phrase)

"That bitch from Otep is hot"


"I love you. I love you all. really. no really, I do. Seriously."

"Some say the devil is dead, the devil is dead, the devil is dead..." (he sang the whole song to himself in a corner)



 
"See if you think about it, it must be hard iving on unemployment benefits. I mean, £90 every two weeks.That's gotta buy you your food, pay your rent, your electricity and maybe at the weekend a bottle of cider if you're luck. And that's the problem with this country, too many fucking handouts for lazy bastards"

He went from liberal to conservative in mid sentence...

"See if all cows are female, where do baby cows come from?"

"Who invented the door?"

"What's bigger, Scotland or the Isle of White?"

All by my bassist.

And NOTHING could make me go straightedge. I'd have to start going to gigs and waving my elbows and fists about in the pit like an inconsiderate ASSHOLE!
 
chaotic said:
"Who invented the door?"
Click to expand...


HAHAHAHAHA thats a good'n. And the edge thing was a bit of a hyperbole. But I get really cynical when it comes to people acting like this.

"you know who rules the world? The Jamaicans do."

"Hey do you want to go spin some vinyl?"- person
"sure"- me
"What? Why? I wouldnt. God, youre so stupid" -same person


These arw from last night. I dunno. It made me laugh.
 
When I'm drunk danish becomes much easier to understand, I don't know why though.

"Have you ever seen the shell of a pistaggio (dont know how to spell it) nut? Is it crooked? See, I've never seen it, have you?"

"It is not me who created this fuckin society, it was Hitler!

Something I've noticed with drunk and crazy people is that they seem to be obsessed with Hitler and Jesus. Anyone knows why?
 
the same is true of irish and scottish accents, the drunker you are, the easier they are to understand....

"robert smith invented punk rock"

"yeah, i can climb that"

"my head feels like it's full of mustard"
 
TheLastWithPaganBlood said:
Something I've noticed with drunk and crazy people is that they seem to be obsessed with Hitler and Jesus. Anyone knows why?
Click to expand...

it might be because talking about hitler isn't very politically correct or its not a rejoicing subject so when someone is totally conscient of what he wants to say, he avoids talking about him. even i feel kind of unsure as to pronounce his name to many people. whereas a drunk dude will not think about the words he'll spit out, and because everyone is deep inside obsessed by hitler, thats one of the subjects they might suddenly talk about because they dont give a shit about mesuring their words.
whereas for Jesus, i dont really know, i didnt yet found a "made up out of the spot" explanation like i did for hitler :grin:
 
Celtik Militia said:
it might be because talking about hitler isn't very politically correct or its not a rejoicing subject so when someone is totally conscient of what he wants to say, he avoids talking about him. even i feel kind of unsure as to pronounce his name to many people. whereas a drunk dude will not think about the words he'll spit out, and because everyone is deep inside obsessed by hitler, thats one of the subjects they might suddenly talk about because they dont give a shit about mesuring their words.
whereas for Jesus, i dont really know, i didnt yet found a "made up out of the spot" explanation like i did for hitler :grin:
Click to expand...


Uhh thats not really what I would call it.... When people are drunk they seem to think they are talking something astrial or enigmatic. All the stupid crap we've listed, feels like theyve discovered something out of pandoras box. Its just senseless delirium and mindbabble.

this gem is one that i just had to post, this guy cracks me up:

"This is like how the italian Fascists set their students to work on the building of computers, but when the war began they threw out all their work(setting computer science back maybe 30 years in the process) and started designing sheaths for the Italian armies bayonet's. Il Duce knew that while personal computing would grow again, if they did not act that instant sheaths would probably be developed by the japanese. This, Mussolini felt, would be a catastrophe. "el nips-a, they a-gonna put a smilin-a cat on-a it!" Remarked the dictator, though his prescience he knew what a danger that could be. If the Imperial japanese where able to develop the horrible power of the hello kittie scabbard they would soon rule, not only asia, but the world."


 
"Me and drink are gonna Joe."

(people started laughing)

"Heyyy! Wuts so funny?"
 
LastPagan, Danish IS easier when you're drunk. If you want to speak it really clearly, speak Swedish with one finger stuck in your mouth. Sounds just like danish, especially if you are from Scania!
Anyhow, my quote from any drunk is any post of Patric's, or my husband, who holds his alcohhol very well, but occasionally says things like "What does this button do?". Since the kids and I know him so well, we duck. Everyone else gets maced/splattered/hit etc. Then there's Johan. He's been known to set fire to his beard. Mind you, he set fire to Santa's beard when he was, like, two years old. I'm pretty sure he was sober then.... Then there was the time he broke his own nose. Oh, wait...he was sober then, too....Never mind.:grin:
 
Johan and Ted fared pretty well at Tomek's bach social, but Wesa, (sp?) fell off the cooler he was sitting on a few times, and needed to be helped back inside. Any silliness they said was in a language i don't speak...
 
not to sure about if this guy was drunk but he said the stupidest thing i ever herd.
this guy got fired by his boss right... "you're fired!"
asshole replys... "You cant fire me! i work for you!"
......
.......





=\
 
Feraliminal Lycanthropizer said:
"Hey do you want to go spin some vinyl?"- person
"sure"- me
"What? Why? I wouldnt. God, youre so stupid" -same person
Click to expand...

:lol: I like this one a lot.


TheLastWithPaganBlood said:
Something I've noticed with drunk and crazy people is that they seem to be obsessed with Hitler and Jesus. Anyone knows why?
Click to expand...

It's not only the drunk :D


Btw, my aunt's husband once set his whole face on fire, not only his beard (if he had any that day) -- he wanted to show off to his kids with some kind of a fire-spitting show. Dunno if he was pissed or not.
 
One time this chick called me why she was drunk and having sex and continued to tell me while having sex that I had a bigger penis then the guy she was fucking. She called and left me this message three times in one night, I recorded it off my answering machine and played it for all my friends, we laughed the girl later.
 
I've got a good one from last night, this guy staying at my hostel was dressed up all gay to go out, gelled hair, designer jeans and shirt, you know the type. And he's telling this other dude shit like, "I'm so ready to get on the dance floor tonight, if you're not there I'm going to drag you up on stage, I'll make the DJ put on some Timberlake, etc." But wait, it gets better, this morning we find out the same dude fell off a stage at one of the clubs and broke his arm in two places, I fucking laughed all morning, I'm still laughing
 
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