Surrounded by death.

[Opet]

This year started out great. In January I went on one of the best vacations ever to Colorado and skied and had the time of my life. I didn't see any of this coming.

In June it all started. Mom died from heart disease. What a horror show. Flew to Florida to be with family and went through her things at her home there. Came home after a week and thought that nothing could seem worse than that.

Then <kaboom> the Trade Centers went down and the world freaked out really bad for a few months. Everyone started whispering about World Wars and shit. Now that seems quiet. I didn't believe that things could seem worse after that too.

Then my grandmother died from cancer in November and the women I work with, a train killed her son right before Thanksgiving. Also, my boss's wife was diagnosed with something called Wagener’s Disease (spelling?)

Now, Christmas is coming, holiday stress is everywhere you look. My brother is coming to visit from Florida (which is stressful to me believe it or not) and just yesterday my boss's wife died from heart failure after the disease got the best of her at home.

I'm like...totally emotionless. I mean I feel like I've run out of emotions. I'm thinking again, that things can't go anywhere but up from here. There's just shit stacked around me on all sides. I feel like I'm walking on broken glass. Everyone I talk to or look at is talking about deaths and shit. I was sending out some letters to everyone in exchange for their cards they've sent and every time I started to write, I'd think of who this person lost and all of a sudden I didn't know what to say.

Well, that's all. Just wanted some room to vent. The creepy part is I know that things could get worse than this, it's just that I hope I have some time, unlike how it's been lately, to deal with it. Last night I'm trying to get to sleep and my heart wouldn't slow the fuck down. I thought I might next! sheeesh!

"Cloak of autumn shroud.
I gaze, dim ricochet of stars.
I reckon it is time for me to leave.

 

[MetalManCPA]

Opet - I know you can see this through, but based on the events listed, you've had what sums up to a crappy year.

As you've probably noticed from my prior posts, my 2001 will be flushed on 12/31/01 -

1. dealing with daughter with major depression (and other various symptoms that attach themselves to depression)
2. 09/11/01
3. changed jobs - new company - sounded great. Was finally going to do computer work, and get out of the accounting world. Lets just say that all turned to shit, and I'm back at crappy accounting again

Granted, death hasn't followed me just yet, but the essence of a shit year is with me too. I'm just plain tired. I wake up, and have no idea what the day will bring. I'll have a drink for you (a nice scorpion bowl or two), and toast your well being. Plus, I'll look south and yell a great big HI (you're not that far from me)

 

[Opet]

Yeah...the words "It's been a sucky-ass year." has been spouting from my mouth all too much lately. :s Whatcha gonna do? I know I'm not alone when I say things have been sucking lately. I guess that's why I mentioned it here. Cheers to your Scorpion Bowl with my Dewers and Coke.

I hide the scars from my past.
Yet they sense my (mute) dirge.
This is when it all falls apart.
White hands grasping for straws.

 

[Lina]

i'm sorry opet. that's a lot to deal with. and i'm so sorry about your mother -- i don't remember you even mentioning it on the board back then. well, i hope you can keep plugging away. remember, the board is therapy!

 

[Opet]

Lina: remember, the board is therapy!

That it most certainly is.

 

[Russell]

Aaaaaaaw, that sucks Opet I don't know what good me apologising will do, but hey - sorry!

I've had a year of extremes. Some of its been utterly shite, some amazing

I second Lina on the board being therapy

 

[warsofwinter]

Sorry to hear about this ,,,, my year hasn't been to good ,, bad enough for me to miss my first gig to see a psychiatrist ,,,damn .

For some reason everybody i've been talkin to has had a bad year this year ,,,,no that i've thought about it alot of people ( here and in my life) are having a bad year ,, my father's company (citi financial) is undergoing some (something don't know the word) and he has had to fire around 15-20 in just his district this year ,,,, my life is pretty much as fucked as it should get,,,, but it always somehow gets better ,,, my mother is always stressed out and she's always workin long fuckin shifts at the 4 different hospitals ,,,,,one of my best friends is sooo depressed it's unreal and it bothers me because when I'm around him it makes me feel worse ,,, and everytime I try to talk to him he doesn't listen to me and he freaks out at me ,,,,, my other friend got himself into acid and he's turnin into a very different person basically ,,,, I could keep naming them but I won't ............searching my way to perplexion ahhhhhhhhhhhh....


It will get better ,,,,

 

[Obyeybyeogone]

I haven't had a good year in my life yet, and a few bad ones. I'm overdue to be happy. *waits*

 

[Russell]

Originally posted by Oyo
I haven't had a good year in my life yet, and a few bad ones. I'm overdue to be happy. *waits*

Ooh ooh ooh, does it work like that?

 

[Obyeybyeogone]

Probably not, but I think a coincidence of me having a good year is likely to happen soon enough, it's been long enough, just one good year would be nice to be able to look back on and say "That was a happy year."

 

[Scytheman]

Damn that's a though year Opet...my sincere condolences...

 

[ricochet]

I don't even know what to say to you, Opet. I have never lost anyone close to me so I can't really emphathize with you. My mom has been upset lately because her neighbor died of a heart attack, and my mom was very close to her. I think one thing that made her so sad was that the neighbor was only several years older than her. This year has definitely been a bad one for many people. Hopefully, your 2002 will be much better. If nothing else, you'll hopefully get to see Opeth in support of the new album. That's something to look forward to.

 

[Jayde]

Hey, I'm really sorry. And if I knew you better I'd say ::hugs::. But I don't so, I won't, because alot of people freak out about that. When people talk about things like this I don't know what to say so I ramble. But I won't. All I'll say is that I've very sorry and I hope it'll get better from here.

 

[Sadistik]

Opet, my heart goes out to you...I don't know what good words'll do, but there you have it...


my year's been wierd...big transitions...Many of my friends lost it last year during freshman year (from going overboard with the partying) and didn't return...My mother who has been recovering amazingly well from chronic illness just had a relapse...mY grandma has breast cancer...the girl I was falling in love with is now ignoring based on trivial differences...my roomate is a goddamned asshole who I am seriously ready to kill...

on the lighter side, my grades are good, and I'm working on music projects with a friend...some good stuff written so far...

 

[S4R]

Opet, time and fellow Opethians heal all wounds we are all here for you.