The Bragging Thread

[Saparmurat_Niyazov]

This is a (semi) serious thread, no trolling!
Here's your chance to be narcissistic, stroke your own ego, toot your own horn, you name it. Brag away!

Here, I'll start: I have an IQ of 132, a 7 1/2 inch penis, and as shown in this photo, am extremely handsome:

 

[Valerie]

In my last life I was an Australian red-back spider.

People love my hair. My sister is a master hair stylist, with huge clientele and every time I walk in her store to visit, every single person in there has to come up and play with my hair. Stylists, clients, everyone. I have random people walk up to me and ask me about my hair

I have seen a lion. And not one of your crap ass queen of the jungle homoerotic pussy-cat lions. A real lion, with fangs and horns and wings and shit.

Im the type of person that brings a weapon to a party if im planning on fighting. I fight to win no matter what it takes.Im not afraid to yell that's my purse, i don't know you. Im NOT afraid to kick someone as hard as i can in the nuts, FROM BEHIND. Yah thats right. I would cheap shot the fuck out of any of you mother fuckers and then id stomp on your face while you were on the ground crying like a bitch.

 

[just metal]

I had foursome with three girls, none of them below average, and I didn't pay for it.

 

[damnromulans]

I live a charmed life and am naturally bright. As a result, everything either just falls into my lap or is easily attainable. Includes but is not limited to school, work, dating and musical/artistic abilities.

I don't have to shave my legs because I don't have leg hair.

I will age gracefully.

 

[JontRevolting]

I am always told that I look at least ten years younger than my actual age.I have lived life on the edge since my early teens and have a perfect criminal record.Am schooled in boxing,judo and ju-jitsu and have never lost a fight.I gave older bullies at school sound beatings.Am about to embark on a very adventurous career and never have any problems getting some poontang when required.And own a very nice house.
I hate bragging but it seems this is the place to tell everyone how resoundingly awesome I am,keeping up with the jones's you see.The embarassing part is that this is all truth,Aussies hate braggers so you can imagine how awkward it is for me to divulge this info,but this is the bragging thread.

 

[Pessimism]

Nothing to add here on my end.

I wish to see your hair Val, as awesome hair is awesome. PM's please.

 

[jussstin]

I am always told that I look at least ten years younger than my actual age.I have lived life on the edge since my early teens and have a perfect criminal record.Am schooled in boxing,judo and ju-jitsu and have never lost a fight.I gave older bullies at school sound beatings.Am about to embark on a very adventurous career and never have any problems getting some poontang when required.And own a very nice house.

All completely nullified by the fact you live in Tasmania...

...Nah just kidding. I'm just jealous of anyone in Aus who owns their own house. Fucking huge house prices mean I'm either going to be renting for the rest of my life or looking at moving into that stylish cardboard box under the Story Bridge with the beautiful 360° views of passed out bums and empty goon boxes. But that probably should go in the Whining and Bitching thread.

Nothing to add here on my end.

Same here. I should have more to brag about but once things start going great I for some reason become uncomfortable with it and then go into self destruct mode and manage to sabotage it all. I've managed to ruin great relationships by going and getting fucked up with my mates and then missing special occasions even though I promised I wouldn't. I had great marks at the start of my uni degree and was on track to do post grad medicine but then managed to screw that up by getting lazy and jaded and not turning up to exams and pracs, and then just failing shit all over the place. I'm not complaining, I kind of think it's funny, I just sort of wish I gave more of a shit, then I'd probably have something to brag about, but eh, whatever.

 

[Satanstoenail]

I have supremely good taste in everything.

 

[JontRevolting]

I did buy my house from my parents mind you at a great price fully furnished,exactly three months before 9/11 and the price of houses here nealy tripled.Luck has played a huge roll in my life so far,touch wood,all settled down with my head screwed on and a few funny tales to look back on.I have heard of the outrageous property prices in Queensland.I don't think any normal working class person would ever be able to pay off a house in their lifetime these days,especially where you live.

 

[Rumpole]

Try living in Perth.

 

[JontRevolting]

Try living in Perth.

I lived there briefly on a working holiday/piss trip with mates years ago before I bought this place,in Vic Park and Scarborough for about 6 months.Even back then from memory the rent was steep,both times the places I stayed were crammed full of tasmanian ex-pats,can't quite remember if that was due to the price of rent or just because of us all being mates at the time.But I bet it's(rent and property prices)gone through the roof,probably like here due to 9/11 but also because it's(mining,progress)booming over there from what i've heard.I used to love the skimpies at all the pubs at lunch times and a nightclub in Vic Park called the Boulevard? is that still there?.It's very isolated over there though,especially for us east coasters,even though Perth is a big city,I still got a pretty big feeling of isolation.

 

[jussstin]

I did buy my house from my parents mind you at a great price fully furnished,exactly three months before 9/11 and the price of houses here nealy tripled.Luck has played a huge roll in my life so far,touch wood,all settled down with my head screwed on and a few funny tales to look back on.I have heard of the outrageous property prices in Queensland.I don't think any normal working class person would ever be able to pay off a house in their lifetime these days,especially where you live.

Good to hear about the settling down and all. And yeah it makes you think there's something a bit wrong with the system where the average house price is so far above what a person on the average wage can afford. I don't know how true it is, but one of my mates reckons it's because politicians aren't legally allowed to have any shares or other business investments because of conflict of interest laws, so they invest all their money in property and therefore it's in their best interests to make laws and legislation to keep house prices up.

Still as much as I piss and moan about house prices, I've got a full belly and a roof over my head, (even if it is someone else's roof) and am generally pretty safe here in Aus (except for the odd bogan altercation) so if expensive housing is the worst of my worries then I should really shut the fuck up and stop complaining.

 

[JontRevolting]

Good to hear about the settling down and all. And yeah it makes you think there's something a bit wrong with the system where the average house price is so far above what a person on the average wage can afford. I don't know how true it is, but one of my mates reckons it's because politicians aren't legally allowed to have any shares or other business investments because of conflict of interest laws, so they invest all their money in property and therefore it's in their best interests to make laws and legislation to keep house prices up.

Still as much as I piss and moan about house prices, I've got a full belly and a roof over my head, (even if it is someone else's roof) and am generally pretty safe here in Aus (except for the odd bogan altercation) so if expensive housing is the worst of my worries then I should really shut the fuck up and stop complaining.

Thanx Jusstin.yeah I almost feel a sense of guilt that i got in and brought my house when I did,stories of mates struggling to even come up with a deposit,it's not right at all.I don't think your mates too far from the truth.I saw on A Current Affair recently that rich people are actually buying up big on mansions that are being left empty because no one can afford the rent,just using them as assets.Even well off people like the dude that bought the house next to me must be doing alright from rent,judging from the amount of students,i think they are that now are renting the place.There must be 5 or 6 young dudes in there.I'd have been happy just to rent but could'nt really knock back this place,I had a fulltime job at the time and it's just 5 mins walk from my old job.That's exactly right mate,as long as you've got a roof over your head and a gut full of food that's the main thing but still there's something wrong when an average person can't afford to buy their own place.

 

[Rumpole]

I lived there briefly on a working holiday/piss trip with mates years ago before I bought this place,in Vic Park and Scarborough for about 6 months.Even back then from memory the rent was steep,both times the places I stayed were crammed full of tasmanian ex-pats,can't quite remember if that was due to the price of rent or just because of us all being mates at the time.But I bet it's(rent and property prices)gone through the roof,probably like here due to 9/11 but also because it's(mining,progress)booming over there from what i've heard.I used to love the skimpies at all the pubs at lunch times and a nightclub in Vic Park called the Boulevard? is that still there?.It's very isolated over there though,especially for us east coasters,even though Perth is a big city,I still got a pretty big feeling of isolation.

I work in Carlisle, which is just next to Vic Park, parts of it are nice but others are seriously dodgy. There are a few great pubs nearby, really crusty working class ones. Scarborough is obscenely expensive now.

The resources boom has really been both a blessing and a curse for Perth. Housing and rent prices now are just beyond ridiculous now. Between 2005 and 2006 the median house price rose by $100 000. Not to mention the actual physical shortage of places to live. Perth will be totally fucked if some serious forward thinking and planning isn't done soon. It's made even worse if you think about the wealth that's been generated and we as a city (and state) have absolutely nothing to show for it.

I know what you mean about the sense of isolation, Perth is an extremely parochial place. It's almost like it's self-inflicted. There does seem to be an entrenched "us and them" mentality with the rest of Australia but also a sense of envy at the same time.

Having said that, it is a beautiful city!

 

[mutantllama]

I live in Maine.

 

[King Richard]

I'm an excellent test taker and never study, no joke. I can't even remember the last time I studied for a test. If I do homework or actually pay attention in class, I retain information easily so I don't waste my time. This angers my girlfriend because she has to study a lot.

I rule.

 

[JontRevolting]

I can't recall going to Carlisle but spent alot of time in Vic Park which I thought was a beautiful area.It's an amazing place,Perth,from the city to places that I went such as the lush greenery of Vic Park and the absolutely stunning stretches of beaches near Scarborough.Even back then I remember being stunned at the difference between the rich and poor.I don't think i've ever seen so many expensive homes and cars alongside some truely poor and destitute people.That was one thing that stuck in my mind.The pubs over there are great and I met some very awesome and friendly people whilst there.They seemed to love us Taswegians.Yeah something needs to happen,and as you say for a city to be enjoying such a boom surely the movers and shakers can see what is happening but what can be done,I have no idea.I remember hearing that it's like the second or third most isolated city in the world but it sure is a beautiful city and a place that i'd love to return to one day.

 

[mutantllama]

I live in Maine.

Oh, and I have a 30 ft penis, and I'm king of the Earth.

 

[False Joe]

God damnit edit: australia.

Stop using names like Carlisle and Scarborough. Those are our shitty towns.

 

[Dak]

Edit: postjump

30 inches? Does it ever embarress you to have such a small penis?

@FJ: They aren't talking about America.