The new chat thread - now with bitter arguing

There is only but few words that I could share regarding work experience since I've had my first reasonable job in December of last year. Of course I, like all young students of my time, worked a few ungrateful, sad, boring and ridiculously salaried customer service job. I've spent three years of my youth selling paint to your everyday "I'm a handyman-good neighbour-happy dad" man. Before that, I packed groceries and just before I signed a contract with my first real employer (being the government) I was selling cheese. Now it's been six months that I'm sitting in an office, working for Statistics Canada, which is and I'm proud to say it, the only non-politicized agency of the gorvernment. Along with five co-workers, I'm responsible for a monthly survey poetically titled the Monthly Survey of Food Services and Drinking Places. This means that I spend most of my time at the office doing phone calls in order to gather mostly financial data but also the occasionnal insults, boring jokes, weather chit-chat, Korean, Chinese, No speekee inglish, government rant, statcan rant, and etc...

When at work I think about work. I will do what I have to do, with mild initiative and the desire to actually accomplish something. I wouldn't say I'm devoted, far from it. The second my 8 to 4 is over, I disconnect myself entirely from work, I go on with the other matters of my life.

Of course I also take the time to socialize with my co-workers, all ranging between 21 and 35 years. This I must say is easing the passing of each day. Our somewhat young team manages to keep the energy high from monday to friday afternoon and prevents us from falling into apathy.

From what I've experienced during the past six months I'd say that I see my work with some sort of a mild interest and try not to have it leak into my private life. I only try to do what I'm being paid for and do it right. Even if I sometimes sympathize with Dilbert's vision.
 
@rampy: eh well, didn't know you were doing sample surveys - they amount for about 40% of my job (the rest is research). statistic canada has an awesome reputation in the field. i'm trying to remember the name of some of your colleagues, whom I see every time at the International Association for Research on Income and Wealth. too early in the morning to recall names, but there is one guy, probably of American Indian descent, who is a big name in the study of child poverty. i will no doubt recall his appellation later in the day.
 
Only few of the higher ranked employees I've actually met. In my divison only, which counts for about 10% of the whole staff of Statcan, we are 600 happy public servants...My chief of division is Mel Jones but I doubt he ever left the country. As for the others, I've most likely heard names but that's as far as it goes.
 
totally ot wrt work, but:

on saturday night i attended a party and of course there just had to be a late-night discussion on relationships. someone (a woman someone) claimed that there is such a person as 'the love of one's life', which i countered on grounds of mere common sense, starting from their probability to be chinese or indian. :p

now, aside from jokes, i do tend to dismiss the notion of 'soulmate' as excessively soppy, eventhough in other matters i am quite the romantic. i have believed the idea for quite a while, but then came to the conclusion that probably there are a few people - and i'm not talking about in the whole wide world, i'm talking about 'in your circle of friends/colleagues/acquaintances' etc with whom a relationship could be started and, with the correct amount of attention and dedication, continued.

on further reflection, i figured out that i had been implicitly basing my reasoning on the idea that after all we are attracted (also in a non-physical sense) to several people, and once attraction is there then relationships are mostly a question of being sensible.

only it might not really be true, in the sense that there are situations in which impressions are just different, and even if you - like me - stubbornly refuse the cartoonish idea of 'teh 1' it is still unlikely to win the probability game, as in 'wow, this guy/girl really fits well with me', twice or thrice or seven times in a row. which brings us back to the idea of 'teh 1', even if it's based on heuristics rather than theory.

i just don't know, really. any opinions?
 
A soulmate is a person who is incredibly similar to you (mentality-wise). As your personal tastes become more complex and more numerous, the tastes of your would-be-soulmate(s) also become more complex and more numerous. Then, the probability to find a soulmate is inversely proportional to your level of mainstreamness. The weirdest you are, the hardest you'll have it to find someone you really feel a connection with.
 
I often claim that I don't necessarily believe in soulmates, but I have to call bullshit on myself.

I mean, just look at me. Why do you think I fight so hard to keep things together when a problem arises? Regardless of whether it's fate or heuristics, I truly am afraid as to what will happen if I were to lose her.

~kov.
 
Actually, I think "normality" is a bloody construct. It doesn't really exists. Once you get to know someone "normal", you realize it's just a mask of him that fits this "normality". As far as I know, we're all troubled, insecure little creatures with extravagances of our own.

So, I've taken an open approach when it comes to relationships. Sure, you'll find immense apparent differences when you're introduced to someone who doesn't seem to fit your "type". But get to know that someone more closely, and you'll be surprised at what you find, even if it's not what you're looking for; it's a rewarding experience nonetheless. The few people I've been involved with have been complete opposites and I've learned a lot from each of them. You just have to keep reaching to others. The most you can get to know, the better, of all kinds.
 
Tomorrow I'll be leaving to Estonia for a work-trip. Which would be a nice change of pace - had I not been so sick and tired for the past couple of weeks that I have a shitload of undone work waiting for me. So, I already know that during the whole five days we'll be in Estonia the only thing I can think about is the work back home.

Anyways, better news is that I got my ticket for Sauna Open Air - a certain Swedish band happens to play there and I'm going to see them. :headbang:

-Villain
 
@myself and re: my life


i will not overreact
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^Now, what exactly does that mean?


Regarding the question of soulmates and all that if I can here take the time to chip iun my two cents, here they are. Teh soulmate is a stupid idea, An harlequin fantasy in fact, nothing more. However it's unconceivable that any woman could go perfectly with any man. So once the conclusion is reached that both extremes are nothing but illusions, we have to come to the only possibility. Some people can go together and in order to know if, i.e, lady x could be the one, I would have to either give it a shot or at least spend a lot of time with lady x.

I definitely have a more elaborate view on the idea but it seems fatigue impairs my ability to write down these thoughts. I might give it some more time later on, maybe this weekend.
 
@rampy: it means... well, it basically means that the guy i mentioned above made a good decision - we were scheduled to see each other this weekend, only he thought that we'd end up in each other's arms and canceled the trip. he was very noble and said that he didn't want to make promises he can't keep, such as 'i am going to leave my wife', because he didn't know if it was the case, but he was afraid he would make those promises nonetheless, so it was better to stay on the safe side.

i totally agree with him in a rational sense - as i said before, i don't want him to leave her because of me. if he has to leave her for reasons concerning their relationship, then we'll see what happens with us afterwards. then again the whole resettling process would take 2-3 years, something we are both strongly aware of and discussed, and he said he has no intention to ask me to wait 2-3 years for something that may never happen. so he renewed his declaration of love, but didn't want to put both of us in a tight spot, and renounced the trip. he seems to think that we may indeed have a future, but he is prepared to risk the possibility of me finding someone else, for which i commended him repeatedly.

i will not overreact meant exactly that - i will at least try not to. he was right, he made a good decision. the fact that i am currently horrified by being on this forum rather than having dinner on my terrace with him is very emo and should be kept quiet. i will not overreact. :/
 
The following message was posted today at
http://www.darktranquillity.com:

Pre-festival update - May 18, 2007

As the splash page implies, things are indeed looking victorious!

"Fiction" has been out for a few weeks now, and as no-one can have failed to notice, the response has been truly phenomenal. In all fairness, we're used to our albums reciveving rave reviews from fans and critics alike, but the reactions to our new little baby have exceeded everything we've experienced before - a lot of people even have dubbed it our best album (at last we could dethrone the 12 year old "The gallery" from that spot).

Here in Sweden, the feedback has been nothing short of fantastic. #1 and #2 in the soundchecks of the two leading metal magazines (Sweden Rock and Close-up) and great reviews in all the major newspapers and tabloids - not to mention good chart positions, healthy sales and a general thumbs-up from the metal community.

Promotion activities have been manyfold and weird. Apart from the usual tons of interviews, Mikael and Martin B. recently graced the premises of MTV Nordic to appear in the morning show "Mycket mer än müsli", in which they discussed the new album as well as playing some poker.

Gig-wise, we'll have our busiest summer ever, playing the three most prolific Swedish festivals (Hultsfred, Arvika and Sweden Rock) as well as heading out all over europe. Touring plans for the autumn are starting to take shape, and as soon as we know anything definite, we'll let you in on the information.

---

:headbang: :kickass: :worship: :Spin: :D
 
@LBRH
I tried to find the video clip form MTV (eh?), but failed in my search. Perhaps the show hasn´t been aired yet...
As for the summer festivals, I´ve been to Hultsfred two years in a row without DT showing up, and now they do. Hultsfred has gotten incredibly expensive though, so I was lookning for another festival. Arvika immedietly cought my attention, with DT, In flames and Within Temptation performing this year. The festival starts on the same day as the metallica gig in Stockholm though, so I wont be able to get there. Now I think I´ve settled on a festival called "Peace and love", a sort of city festival that has lots of different genres represented, and also focuses more on politics and seminars when there arn´t any bands playing. DT played there last year, and are naturally not going to show up two years in a row.

Seems like I have to put my trust to that European tour they´ve mentioned.

On a completly different issue, Devin Townsend had a press conference where he stated that he will never tour again with SYL or the Devin Townsend Band, although he still will continue to make music and release it. I think this is really sad, I was so looking forward to see him perform live :cry:

http://www.metalunderground.com/news/details.cfm?newsid=26130
 
@hyena: Maybe you should look at it this way: if he doesn't even know what he really wants then it'd be best not to go with him. The fact that he was likely to leave his wife for you indicate exactly that he has no idea what he really desire, or he wouldn't be in such a situation. It might be the case that he'd leave you after a few years for someone else.

Try turning life into a game of yes/no questions, it'll help you decide better for yourself and for anyone you care about.
 
well, call hero, open valhalla's gates, all this crap.

i was teh bold and declared to individual mentioned in previous posts that i have to "move on". such statement was very gracefully, if very painfully, received: he said that my letter was "beautiful", which confirms that i have a flair for leaving guys to their own devices in an artful way, and also said that he was devastated, and wouldn't stop dreaming about being with me... but wouldn't mention it anymore, that is if i wanted to keep on communicating at all.

i am HUGELY unhappy. feels like tearing my right arm out. it's horrible and of course, since i have feelings and all, now all i'm thinking about is: where can i again find a guy who is simultaneously enthralled by discussions on neoplatonism and my progress in benchpressing? you know, most guys don't give a shit about neoplatonism and find benchpressing un-feminine, and while it is possible to cover each field separately, the covering of both (and the remaining 3,465) along with "he likes me without any effort on my part"... no, not going to happen.

why oh why oh why oh WHY?

to those who are asking themselves why i let him go while i so obviously didn't want to - although he says different, i don't think he's going to leave his wife. there's religion and conscience and financial issues and location and whatnot and anyway i cannot wait two to three years, which was a conservative estimate of how long it would take us before being together. which makes no sense, since i can just sit on my patio and wait forever, and what is going to come is exact nothing, and i want to cry in my pint of lager but i've had two already and tomorrow i need to go to work, and UNFAIR UNFAIR UNFAIR, not to mention that i hurt him in the process and am hating it. :(
 
If love has to come at such a price, is it really worth the trouble of compromising?

1.Yes, then bear all the unfairness for now till the end of loneliness. (I'm guessing that's why you want to be in a relationship so badly.)
2.No, then go and find something else to entertain yourself.