The Official "Stupid Things My Coworker Says" Thread

[Will @ work]

Today:

Her: "The Squat Team was down by my house today."
Me: "The SQUAT Team?!"
Her: "Yes! The Squat Team!"

Earlier this week:
"Will, are your shoes tied on straight?"

 

[azal]

I have one co worker that takes massive dumps every morning that infest the whole office and the worst part is that dude lives a block from the office.

GO HOME AND SHIT YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.

 

[Will @ work]

I have 2 more to post when i get home

 

[Captain Beard]

I have one co worker that takes massive dumps every morning that infest the whole office and the worst part is that dude lives a block from the office.

GO HOME AND SHIT YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.

You don't understand! YOU HAVE to shit on paid time! It's part of what makes a man! Why go shit for fee when they can PAY you to squeeze turds out?

 

[azal]

I'm ok with that....but this is a small news bureau...two rooms a bathroom and a kitchen. so when the door opens the whole place is rank for at least an hour.

I'm cool with people taking shits in big bathrooms that are seperate from the office and I'm also cool with people in emergency shitting situations...but if you know your shit stinks something nasty and you live one block away, goddammit man, do it at home.

 

[Reminiscence]

I'd like to see this become the Excrement Thread.

 

[Will Bozarth]

who cares if it does? it'll keep getting bumped

 

[BlueSky]

I'm ok with that....but this is a small news bureau...two rooms a bathroom and a kitchen. so when the door opens the whole place is rank for at least an hour.

I'm cool with people taking shits in big bathrooms that are seperate from the office and I'm also cool with people in emergency shitting situations...but if you know your shit stinks something nasty and you live one block away, goddammit man, do it at home.

Just tell him to stop that shit. Literally. Or make a fake news letter saying man stinks up office, so bad two coworkers die instantly, and leave it on his desk when he goes to take a dump.

 

[Shmu]

Stupid things? does the lies that my co-worker say every minute and he believes count?

 

[Lunar Still]

Topics discussed at work last night:

-necrophilia
-bestiality
-a woman mooing like a cow in an attempt to confuse a rapist
-Daily Rape Service
-the accompanying Rape Man
-"Jessica, I just want you to know that if I was about to kill you, I'd rape you first. Hell, probably like 5 or 6 times."

I'm so glad I'm leaving, that last bit was disturbing as all hell.

 

[Malergion]

Sounds like group therapy for sex offenders.

 

[Lunar Still]

Actually, the whole thing was hilarious, until the guy said that last line....I mean, I was still laughing, but it was pretty creepy.

 

[Anvil]

Sounds like a door factory, just with less jests about balls, homosexuality and chest shitting.