funny stories of me being stupid with weed

i have a couple good ones

1) my friend makes a waterbong out of a mello yello bottle, a hollowed out pencil, gum, and a bottle cap... we have fun with it out in our rehearsal space for a few minutes, then break out the pipe... i take a few hits off of it and i go in to call this girl i was fucking, cause i basically wanted some...they kept chugging... anyway, 10 minutes later, my friends run in and my best friend (the one who got busted in the previous story) has a broom... here is where it goes crazy... he starts attacking me with it, and everytime he hits me, he'd start humming confutatis from mozart... apparently they were tripping out there and they thought they heard my dad come home and he started hitting the door and hummnig that... it was classic.

2) my friends and i start getting baked off of this metal hitter... say 5:00pm... well we go until about 8:00 and we get so hungry that we go up the road to get food... we get back and we were still fucked... we smoked all the way there and back too, we sit down and my dad comes in my room and says what are yall doin... one of my friends had 2 ladders also, he was passed out on my bed... anyway... my dad says "it stinks in here, you need to clean" and walks out like nothing happened... there is a person passed out in the floor... and he walks away... :LOL:
 
neal said:
i'll probably be visiting seattle in the next few months, lets do it!

Dude you just let me know! I got some purple cushe right now. I'll save some for the occasion!
 
LadyValerie said:
You should do heroin on it. Then you can be like "I'm fucking needled!" or something. I'm quite high myself 8)

Unfortunately I'm not really much of a heroin type of guy, but I like the idea!
 
dead_fetus said:
Dude you just let me know! I got some purple cushe right now. I'll save some for the occasion!
sweet, cushe/kush (whateva) is fuckin chronic! a good friend of mine just moved up there for a few months to work on some network security blahbidy blah whatever so im going to try to take a few days off around a weekend and come up for 4-5 days or something. we'll have to hook up and smoke and drink and listen to metal and be merry!
 
I have an interesting related story to share -

A few years back when I was still in my first expermintive stages with drugs, me and a few friends decided to get completely and utterly wasted in "tyler's" (as we'll call him for the story) basement of his parents house (devoted mormons). So we set up the night, planned it all out accordingly. We get there, watch a movie, then his parents go to sleep. Thats when we go down to the basement (which was totally unfinished) and start lighting up. So I take a hit, my friend takes a hit, and Tyler takes a hit. Tyler starts choking. This was some weak utah shit, orangey tasted, and he was choking. I nearly died of laughter. So a after a while, all the weeds used up and I have a nice buzzing high going on, I was semi-pleased. But I needed more. So I decide i'm going to go down the street to a guys place I know who sells, shitty schwag, but it was cheap. On my way (I was cutting through peoples backyards, jumping fences, etc. Seemed like a good Idea at the time) I run into this one 3 story house. I stare at it for a while, and then i look behind me. An outdoor bar. Jackpot. I look through it, all kinds of sweet sweet alcoholic pleasures. Stoli, JD, all of my friends :p

So I bring a few bottles of these back, instead of wasting the money for the shitty schwag.

Go into the basement, pull out ma boys, and start partaking. I give them everything but the stoli to do which what they wanted. The stoli was mine.

So i'd say about an hour of this goes down, getting increasingly drunker, and drunker, and drunker, until all of sudden, without a word, tyler goes upstairs.

The only thing on my mind was "WTF?"

So we sit downstairs, waiting for tyler to come back downstairs, 30 minutes pass, and nothing. At this point I was freaking, and I go upstairs silently, and I hear voices from the living room. "WTF?". SO i go into the living room and there he is, crying with his parents sitting there. Needless to say, I started laughing. "OMG, hahahaha etc." Him and his parents stare at me, or maybe my bottle of stoli.

They ensue conversation with me. Asking me how I was and the such. And I answer them with ease, atleast I thought. So then they ask me to go downstairs for a little while.

Wake up in the morning on a swimming pool raft, half way down the stairs. Covered in puke and water and a broken empty bottle of stoli.

I had no clue what happened, so I walk upstairs, headache and all. I see his parents sitting there, and I ask them what the hell happened. apparently it went down like this:

On my trip down the stairs, I fell down almost all of them, summersaulting into a closet door at the bottom. After recovering I found the pool raft thingy in the closet, and thought it to be a good idea to start rafting down the stairs. So I inflated it, finished off my fifth of vodka, and begin to start going down the stairs in a floaty raft thingy. Then from what I understand, the other person, who was in the basement still, was getting a wee bit annoyed by the amount of noise I had created. He started throwing golf balls at me, missing with all but one, which hit me in the stomach. The puking ensued. All over the stairs, and a little bit on the cement in the basement (when they told me of this part I was gagging on the puke smell in my own clothing). So after that, they kept asking me for a phone number so they could call someone to take me home and I kept telling them that "the debutant won't allow it", who was this debutant? I dunno. But apparently thats all I could speak of. So at this point I go out back, and I grab a hose, and I bring it inside, and I start spraying down the stairs with water... They say I passed out shortly after.

Best part of all of this? All they did was ask me to leave and said they'd clean it up...

Morale of the story, if you get completely wasted and fuck up a mormons house, they won't give a shit.


I musta been high when I wrote this because when I say "we'll call him tyler for the sake of the story" or whatever... the kids name is actually tyler. :lol:
And that was a bit past the ol experimental stage. God damn I hate reading the way I tell stories.
 
Oh, and I forgot the best detail of that story... The reason the kids parents woke up was because my friend was getting a blow job from some chick (can't recall her aspect in everything) in the bathroom next to their room, and then violently (and loudly) puked all over his dick. I still call him vomit dick.

I guess I was cutting details in order to cut down on length? God dammit that was a shitty storytelling job on my part.