Stupid/funny shit you did when you were a kid

[Dead Winter]

I was about 8 years old when my hometown had a "Kid's Day in the Park" or some bullshit like that. My stepmom took me and my three cousins to go see what it was about. There's this big wall in the park, and they covered it with paper to allow kids to write whatever they wanted; draw, write, paint, color, etc., along with other arts and crafts.

They gave me one of those Marks-A-Lot markers to go write something on the wall. I didn't know what to write, so I of course took a big whiff of the marker because they smell AWESOME, and proceeded up to the wall/mural. All the other kids were writing bullshit like "Children are our future" and crap like that, so what did I write?

I wrote in big, black letters: I LIKE HOT WOMEN AND COLD BEER.

I remember my stepmom being very angry with me and yet trying her hardest not to burst out into laughter, so she grabbed me and the other three and we ran home. My dad found out and he wanted to yell at me but he couldn't keep from laughing and just brushed it off.

Thought of that today and figured it would be a good topic to start.

 

[Tide In Mind Out]

When I was no higher than the bathroom sink I used to lick the screws that held the sink legs together. Not sure why...maybe I had an iron deficiency. I still remember how it tasted. I guess that's more weird than stupid/funny...

 

[Shpongled]

hahahaha excellent story Chris! You were a fucking awesome kid!

 

[Dead Winter]

Haha thanks! I was sitting at Burger King tonight and we were talking about stupid shit we used to do when we were kids, and I had forgotten about it when it popped in my head I couldn't stop laughing. I could hardly tell the story I was laughing so hard.

I was seriously embarrassed at the time, though. I thought it would just be funny, but all the other parents and people there gave me the "you little shit" look.

My stepmom was asking me, "Why did you do that Christopher?!?!?!", in between stifled fits of laughter. I said, "Uhhh, I just thought it would be funny...I'm only 8...don't you think it's funny?" She said, "Well, yes it's funny but you shouldn't do things like that!"

I was like, "Why not?" I think it embarrassed her more than anyone else because when she saw it, she was like, "Ok boys, time to go...NOW!!!!"

I was soooooo scared my dad was gonna yell at me and ground me, but he just calmly asked why I did it and explained that 8-year-old boys shouldn't write I LIKE HOT WOMEN AND COLD BEER in the park on Kid's Day. I think my stepmom told him to go easy on me because she saw how embarrassed I was.

Now looking back...it was awesome.

 

[~Lynn~]

I don't know how young I was, five or six, but I was sitting in the lawn kind of by the road playing with something. Anyhoo a cop pulls up prolly to see why I was close to the road and I called him everything but a white man. My sisters were supposed to be watching me, I guess the cop put handcuffs on me and marched my butt up to the house. I sort of remember the cop reprimanding my sisters about the whole deal.

 

[Dead Winter]

Hahahahahahha!!!!!! That's AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Shpongled]

Goddamn Chris it just keeps getting better LOLOLOL!!!!

 

[Brooks]

Haha thanks! I was sitting at Burger King tonight....

I thought this thread was supposed to be about stupid shit you did when you were a kid...

 

[Dead Winter]

We all slip from time to time.

You have to realize that they just opened a new Burger King here last month. Before that they didn't exist here, so you're talking at least three years since I've had a Whopper. McDonald's? Meh. A Whopper from BK? Yeah, I'll take the hit.

 

[Brooks]

I bet they're stocked with Italian cuties, too.

'American Embassies' (as they like to call 'em) overseas almost always hotspots of the pop scene, going right against the dens of iniquity they are over here.

Dublin's BK was filled with HOTTIES.




Sorry, back to the stories!

 

[WhiteBeastofWotan]

Actually I'd rather hear (better yet, see!) more of these HOTTIES.

 

[-Syl-]

i ate worms with a neighbour kid
i used to pour wax on my hand - regularly
i used to sew up my fingers - a lot of times and i don't know why
i pulled a chicken head on my finger. it was my puppet then i gouged out its eyes - gross!
and once almost burned down the neighbour's loft and if it would had succeeded we would have burned alive there with my friend
i was about 8-10 years old

i think maybe i was an introverted kid

and if we were alone home with my brother we ALWAYS made handball fights with socks. (and i was an adult when my brother told me that he let me win sometimes, hah!)

 

[ShadowsWithin]

I bet they're stocked with Italian cuties, too.

'American Embassies' (as they like to call 'em) overseas almost always hotspots of the pop scene, going right against the dens of iniquity they are over here.

Dublin's BK was filled with HOTTIES.




Sorry, back to the stories!

thats funny cause the London BK was full of fat people so it was like home.

 

[Shpongled]

I used to take the milk straws from the lunchroom in like 5th grade and then use scotch tape to affix a needle into one end of the straw. Then, I'd re-purpose one of those ball point spring loaded click pens and turn it into a little firing device that would shoot the straw needle up into the ceiling of the classroom. I haven't tried making one since then, I wonder I could still remember the process. Obviously the teachers HATED it haha.

 

[-Syl-]

And here is a story from the communism.
It was in 1983 I used to sing in one of the most famous child choirs in the country. We had to learn the russian hymn in russian language for a recording (vinyl of course hehe). And even we got much money for that.
That was the time when everyone hated everything which was russian. So. I told that I don't know the lyrics just because I was a rebel (I thought at least), and of course I knew it but... I was stubborn and resistant and I used to run against the walls with my head. (and that didn't change...)
And I was the only one "rebel". Meh.

 

[Kvlt Wench]

And they didn't send the KGB after you?

 

[-Syl-]

And they didn't send the KGB after you?

Haha, no. Just all the teachers and my parents were very-very mad at me. I remember one teacher asked me to learn it and she tried to talk with me seriously about it, but I said NO. I was only worried about that I lied. (and it's funny but I still do know almost the whole hymn in russian, hehe)

 

[Dead Winter]

I bet they're stocked with Italian cuties, too.

'American Embassies' (as they like to call 'em) overseas almost always hotspots of the pop scene, going right against the dens of iniquity they are over here.

Dublin's BK was filled with HOTTIES.




Sorry, back to the stories!

You know, now that you mention it...aside from all the fucking kids in there, there really are quite a few hotties in there every time I go (which is once a month, maximum). Not only that, the people working there are even hotter than some of the customers (obviously some of them are Eastern Euros, so it's a given they're hot).

Granted, it's new. McDonald's here is full of college kids and distraught parents. Italians seem to really, really like Burger King more than McDonald's (not that I can blame them...I prefer BK to McD if I have to eat fast food), but I wonder if it's just a novelty thing or if it will last. They're doing great business, though...they definitely won't shut down. I don't think it will be all the rage after a while, and they don't seem to do much during the week, but I think it's here to stay.

It's kinda funny to hear people go on and on about BK here, like they just discovered the fountain of youth or something. Italians really have to get out more. "OMG have you tried the new BK?!?!? Holy crap it's waaayyy better than McDonald's!!!!"

"Well, no shit, Sherlock!!! Did you think every fast food place tasted like McDonald's or something?"

Now if we could only get a Taco Bell...........

 

[Dead Winter]

i pulled a chicken head on my finger. it was my puppet then i gouged out its eyes - gross!

That's some serious "behind the Iron Curtain" shit right there.

We had Transformers and G.I. Joe growing up in the West, what did you have?

We pulled the heads off of chickens, gouged out their eyes and made finger puppets with their neck cavities.


There's just too much awesome going on here.

 

[Swabs]

I was stubborn and resistant and I used to run against the walls with my head. (and that didn't change...)

wat