The Emptier
t3h b3aSt0rZ
i used to think all women lived in africa and their breasts went down to the ground and you had to order one and you chose how big their boobs were
Stupid/funny shit you did when you were a kid
- Thread starter Dead Winter
- Start date
Lord Foul
I don't spank men
I used to play with chemicals and explosives a lot as a kid, having easy access to both fireworks and assorted substances used in photography and spelunking. Never blew myself up, so I'm not sure how stupid it actually was.
I also recall an incident where a friend and I were fishing on a lake in a metal boat during a lightning storm.
I also recall an incident where a friend and I were fishing on a lake in a metal boat during a lightning storm.
Nikki
Member
Det Som Engang Var
Viking Bastard
I was never that crucial, but I was also like that. I always liked burning shit too. Almost burned the house down one time.
I also used to like to go bug hunting and make a little bugtopia out of a fish tank. Not too stupid, in retrospect, except I would put any and every bug I could find (Rolly Polleys, Worms, even roaches) into it. And then I decided to play god and microwave them. But that thing didn't belong in the microwave and I fucked it up somehow.
And then I believed in god until I was 8. That was funny and dumb.
fading
Graphic Designer
When I was 8 I was up early one morning I was bored and wondered into the kitchen and found some matches. I opened the box and started messing around with them trying to light one. When I finally lite one I didn't know what to do with it so i tossed it into the trash. I quickly blew out the flame. I thought that was cool. So I struck another match and tossed it into the trash and watched it burn a little longer and blew it out. This was getting exciting, for an 8 year old. So I struck another and threw it into the trash. I watched it burn for even longer and blew and blew and blew, it wasn't going out. Then I was grabbed from behind by my mom and she grabbed the trash can and threw it outside and put out the fire with the hose. I was in so much trouble. But it was so cool, for an 8 year old.
My parents always regulated my sugar intake as a kid, so I once got up really early (on purpose this time, not just for Saturday morning cartoons) and decided to climb on top of the counter and retrieve the sugar bowl from the top shelf in the cupboard.
I ate half the bowl of sugar then went back to bed.
I also once called my mom a "bastard", just teasing her as I was trying to tell her to get into the pool...I didn't know it was bad or what it meant. She yanked my ass up and yelled, "Where did you hear that?!?!?"
I said, "Ummm...I heard Uncle Tom say it a few times...I thought it was like 'dangit' or something." I think I got my uncle in trouble...oh well.
He's the one who taught me how to swear, although I first mispronounced the word "shit" because he had somewhat of an accent and would say it like "shet" or something. So I used to think that "shet" was "shit" and that "shit" was a perfectly normal word. Fast forward a year and I'm at a new school, on the first day of school, first grade. For some reason the word "shit" got brought up and I was like, "WTF? Who cares? It's not a bad word!!!" So I went up to the teacher and said, "Miss Donnis, tell everyone that SHIT isn't a bad word!!!!!!"
Principal's office. First day of school.
I ate half the bowl of sugar then went back to bed.
I also once called my mom a "bastard", just teasing her as I was trying to tell her to get into the pool...I didn't know it was bad or what it meant. She yanked my ass up and yelled, "Where did you hear that?!?!?"
I said, "Ummm...I heard Uncle Tom say it a few times...I thought it was like 'dangit' or something." I think I got my uncle in trouble...oh well.
He's the one who taught me how to swear, although I first mispronounced the word "shit" because he had somewhat of an accent and would say it like "shet" or something. So I used to think that "shet" was "shit" and that "shit" was a perfectly normal word. Fast forward a year and I'm at a new school, on the first day of school, first grade. For some reason the word "shit" got brought up and I was like, "WTF? Who cares? It's not a bad word!!!" So I went up to the teacher and said, "Miss Donnis, tell everyone that SHIT isn't a bad word!!!!!!"
Principal's office. First day of school.
Oh it gets worse.
I haven't told you about the time I farted in the principal's face. It was shortly after the "Tell everyone that 'shit' isn't a bad word" incident.
I know right about now you're calling me a liar because it all sounds so far-fetched, but I swear on my life and the life of all my loved ones that everything is true. The irony of it all was that I was a really, really, really sweet kid; everyone's parents loved me and loved having me play with their kids. I was always very polite, had impeccable table manners and diction, respected my elders with yes/no sir/ma'am after everything, yet I found a way to write I LIKE HOT WOMEN AND COLD BEER, curse at my first grade teacher on the first day of school, and then fart in the principal's face shortly thereafter.
If I can borrow a quote from one of my friends, "Chris, you are a social anomaly."
I haven't told you about the time I farted in the principal's face. It was shortly after the "Tell everyone that 'shit' isn't a bad word" incident.
I know right about now you're calling me a liar because it all sounds so far-fetched, but I swear on my life and the life of all my loved ones that everything is true. The irony of it all was that I was a really, really, really sweet kid; everyone's parents loved me and loved having me play with their kids. I was always very polite, had impeccable table manners and diction, respected my elders with yes/no sir/ma'am after everything, yet I found a way to write I LIKE HOT WOMEN AND COLD BEER, curse at my first grade teacher on the first day of school, and then fart in the principal's face shortly thereafter.
If I can borrow a quote from one of my friends, "Chris, you are a social anomaly."
The Emptier
t3h b3aSt0rZ
~Lynn~
Bah...
About the same age I found my sisters box of tampons under the sink. My dad walked in the bathroom wondering what the hell I was doing when i had the whole sink filled up with them. Hey they were pretty cool to an impressionable 5 year old. 
Super Mahrio
Deeply Horrible Person
I had bad ADD as a kid.
I really cannot recall a really stupid thing i did as a child. Itll come to me though..
I really cannot recall a really stupid thing i did as a child. Itll come to me though..
Enemy242
Member
My mom said I was quite crazy when I was a kid.
First when I was a baby I guess I decided it'd be cool to take the toilet paper from the bathroom when they weren't looking, and throw/roll the roll down the huge hallway and probably other places leaving them a great mess to clean up, awesome.
Then my mom would take me on planes a lot and I'd be a gigantic douche. Instead of just crying like other kids I'd flail and kick and yell and bitch. Once she said we were flying and I was not having it so I just randomly decided to take out a magazine and proceed to chuck it over my shoulder hitting a guy who was drinking a bloody mary, and spilling it all over his white pants. Of course since I was a kid I probably didn't care at all, I probably didn't even notice, I'm sure it made his day.
edit: there are a lot of other ones like I got kicked out of preschool (yeah, getting expelled from preschool wtf) but I don't remember any specifics, just that my friend and I were so bad they couldn't take it any more and expelled me and I had to go to a bunch of different ones until I found a hippy one near russian hill I think and even they had to put me on time out in a different room all the time.
First when I was a baby I guess I decided it'd be cool to take the toilet paper from the bathroom when they weren't looking, and throw/roll the roll down the huge hallway and probably other places leaving them a great mess to clean up, awesome.
Then my mom would take me on planes a lot and I'd be a gigantic douche. Instead of just crying like other kids I'd flail and kick and yell and bitch. Once she said we were flying and I was not having it so I just randomly decided to take out a magazine and proceed to chuck it over my shoulder hitting a guy who was drinking a bloody mary, and spilling it all over his white pants. Of course since I was a kid I probably didn't care at all, I probably didn't even notice, I'm sure it made his day.
edit: there are a lot of other ones like I got kicked out of preschool (yeah, getting expelled from preschool wtf) but I don't remember any specifics, just that my friend and I were so bad they couldn't take it any more and expelled me and I had to go to a bunch of different ones until I found a hippy one near russian hill I think and even they had to put me on time out in a different room all the time.
Shpongled
Member
- Aug 30, 2001
- 13,483
- 88
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swallowed a spike.
Awesome! ^^
The most stupid thing i ever did was testing with my bare hands if grandma's electric stove had cooled off already ...
It was more the stuff i said.
3 yrs old, first year pre-elementary school, had just finished my first fingerpaint-project about fathers'day and was on my way home.
In the elevator i took a look at the results of my project, pulled my mom's skirt and i asked: " Mama, who is my father? "
I often called my parents by their names or mommy/daddy but a father was obviously a stranger to me.
My mom, totally surprised and feeling really awkward because an old madam was staring at her as if she shagged the whole neighbourhood:
"John, Jóhn is your father! "
" Papa? "
" Yés, papa! John is your daddy and also your father. "
Even the old madam looked relieved, after i puzzled out my first identity crisis.
I was about 5:
My mom and i were in a mall, when a man with a silly walk passed us by.
Complete in awe i pointed at the man: " Mama look, that mister is in a good mood, he dances while he walks! "
Back home she explained to me the mister had suffered from Poliomyelitis ...
When my Dad married my step-mom, I was 3. I was chatting with the minister's daughter (she was my age) , and right in the middle of the ceremony, in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear, I said, "Isn't this the silliest wedding you've ever seen?" Apparently, it was a winner...
I then, proceeded to "help" pick up after everyone. I went around and emptied everyone's left over drinks. Oh gods was I fucked up, drunk!
I then, proceeded to "help" pick up after everyone. I went around and emptied everyone's left over drinks. Oh gods was I fucked up, drunk!
You are welcome to think what you want, however, I was born in June of 1967, the wedding was in February of 1971. This is the story that has been repeated over and over for nearly 40 years, by my parents and grandparents...
