The "OMFG I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT" Thread

[Undefined]

This is a thread dedicated to the stupid shit con artists, morons and cocksuckers in general try to have you believe (usually for their own gain). Some of the shit is just so BLATANTLY stupid yet they (pretend to) believe it and try to make you do so too, so without further adieux, this is something I came across that made me go... HOLY SHIT DIE YOU STUPID FUCK, it pertains to 'psychic ability' and how to see people's aura:

HOW TO SEE THE AURA COLOURS

Many people can sense the aura and some can see it. When you have stood close to a stranger have you ever 'felt' their personality- something we sometimes call the 'human atmosphere'?

The human atmosphere? Come on, ffs ... OH WOW making up terms that sound 'scientific' or smart enough that the bullshit they represent sounds plausible is so FUN and a great tool to make people lower their defenses and buy into your bullshit. What a fucking stupid thing to say, 'human atmosphere', I'm not even going to get into it.

For example, you may have visited a married couples house and inadvertently interrupted a row. They greet you with sweet smiles and pretend nothing has happened but behind this façade you can feel a pressure like the moment before a thunderstorm.

Wtf is a row you faggot? I know you mean argument, but just say it, remember YOU'RE the mindreader, not me, but OMG SINCE I FIGURED OUT WHAT YOU MEANT I MUST HAVE SPECIAL POWERS TOO!!!1!11!!!1!!

And *ahem*

YOU DUMB FUCKER, YOU CAN 'SENSE' SOMETHING IS WRONG BASED ON THEIR BODY LANGUAGE, TONE AND OTHER BEHAVIOUR IT HAS FUCK ALL TO DO WITH THEIR AURA OMG JUST STICK A BLOWTORCH UP YOUR ASS! AND WHO THE FUCK 'FEELS' PRESSURE BEFORE A THUNDERSTORM, YOU'RE NOT A GODAMN BAROMETER SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU'RE JUST USING BULLSHIT TO DESCRIBE THINGS WHICH BAIT PEOPLE INTO THINKING 'OH LAWLZ YEAH I CAN FEEL THAT TENSE BEHAVIOUR SO THIS MUST EXIST!!'

You are sensing the emotions from their auras and this is why you know that something is wrong despite their pretence. You have experienced the projected personality of the person through their aura.

Wow, this bolded part is the sentence in which the bullshit artist thought, "HEY! Some people might be smart enough to realize I'm full of shit but if I follow up my retarded claims with a sentence telling them they are feeliing something because of special abilities and NOT logic, then they will believe it because I said so!"

Perhaps you have also at some time experienced psychic sight and seen the aura but have been too embarrassed to talk about it for fear of ridicule by non-believers.

Yes, this is the part that says... "OH IT'S OK TO BELIEVE THIS! EVERYONE ELSE SEES IT TOO THEY ARE JUST TOO SCARED TO TALK ABOUT IT AND THAT IS WHY IT'S NOT REGARDED AS ANYTHING CLOSE TO REALITY SO JUST BELIEVE IT EXISTS!"

Trust what you sense and see and stand by what you know to be true for this is a natural phenomenon.

Someone call George Lucas. "Trust in your feelings" and "You know this to be true"... give me a fucking break, DIRECT QUOTES STRAIGHT FROM STAR WARS.

Fortunately many more people today are having the courage to talk about their spiritual experiences which are proving to be more common place than would once have been expected.

Yeah, fortunately FOR YOU, hat there are a lot of people buying into your bullshit and buying what crap you're selling to help 'Guide them into this new phenomenon' or whatever the fuck your angle is. To me, having an increase in the number of stupid, gullible people is an UNFORTUNATE THING...

[/RANT]

Feel free to share other stuff you find for the lulz!

[inb4 someone posts the bible.]

 

[Altitudes]

tl;dr

 

[Swabs]

*insert bible here*

GO ON UP, YOU BALDHEAD!

FUCK GODBEARS!

 

[OvSeth]

 

[Undefined]

tl;dr

tr;oll

inb4 someone posts the bible.

*insert bible here*

GO ON UP, YOU BALDHEAD!

FUCK GODBEARS!

I still LOL'd though

 

[shredtastical]

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxmDczdjd8A&feature=related[/ame]

 

[shredtastical]

tr;oll

yes i'm double posting, joe has this habit of replying in the middle of my reply

 

[Chamet]

This dude in school once said to me that it doesn't take skill to play metal.

 

[Undefined]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxmDczdjd8A&feature=related

That can be classifiedd as hearsay unless George Bush himself put out a press release saying the same shit... although I do believe he said it He might have just been talking down to them though, he knows that the culture there is religious and to say God told me to do these things would make more sense to them and help him achieve his goal, then again I don't think he is that smart

 

[Shadowz]

I asked my friend in school if he has anything too drink. And he was all pissed and shit and just said: Who stinks?!

 

[Fetzer]

 

[Undefined]

Take it easy on the megasmilies XD

 

[eveningninja]

Weight loss secret of 2008: Eat less.

 

[Fetzer]

It's not because you can use it that it means you must use it. Remember, with megasmilies comes great responsibility.

 

[Undefined]

Weight loss secret of 2008: Eat less.

This first post of yours that amused me, ever

 

[Undefined]

It's not because cyou an use it that it means you must use it. Remember, with megasmilies comes great megaresponsibility.

 

[brightkelly]

i wonder how many people in this forum are actually christians.

 

[Swabs]

i wonder how many people in this forum are actually christians.

Hopefully none.

 

[dreams_of_eternal_hate]

i am one but i don't give a shit about the church, i do believe in something and i need noone to affirm in what i shall believe or not.
*inserts swabs bashing*

 

[Swabs]

Seriously, DO NOT get into a religious argument with me

http://www.ultimatemetal.com/forum/symphonyx/379836-sx-paradise-lost-satanic.html

Everything I will ever need to say about religion was pretty much expressed throughout that thread. Read when you have the time.

It gets quite scientific, so some of it could be difficult to understand to those "less educated". (page 7 onwards)