the quotes thread

[Bambi]

with all the rampant twatosity on this board recently we need a good quote thread to get things back on course. No bloody byronic weepomatic quotes or quotes from lyrics either, Sporting quotes recieve a 10%discount.

Prince philip can give yis all a lead:

One whiners:
Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed.

On Canada:
We don't come here for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves.

On Russians:
The bastards murdered half my family.

On Wimmen:
I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing.
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

On chinese:
If it has four legs and it's not a chair, if it has two wings and it flies but it's not an airplane, and if it swims and it's not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.

On Aborigines:
Do you still throw spears at each other?

 

[Allan]

with all the rampant twatosity on this board recently we need a good quote thread to get things back on course. No bloody byronic weepomatic quotes or quotes from lyrics either, Sporting quotes recieve a 10%discount.

Pity, I could come up with a quote or 2 from the guestbook at the Anathema site that would bring much amusement .

All I can think of now is your regular Simpsons thing.

"The first step towards faillure is trying"

Oh and lets get all serious, just for the fun of ruining Bambi's thread:

"No law can be sacred to me but that of my nature"

"It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in sollitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of sollitude" -Emerson


Much to my own dissapointment I can't think of any worth sports quotes, I'm sure they'll come .

 

[Dhatura]

Our most famous sports quote:

But WHERE HAS DAMON HILL DISAPPEARED??? (excited commentator)

 

[Achernar]

Several sportive quotes from Portugal:

A player from FC. Porto - "We were standing on the edge of an abyss but fortunately we stepped forward"

Another guy from the same team by that time - "We had some bad moments, but we made a 360º turn and now everything's alright."

 

[cedarbreed]

Another guy from the same team by that time - "We had some bad moments, but we made a 360º turn and now everything's alright."

Here, we have a famous ice-skater, Fabrice Candeloro, who, when asked which question he'd like to be asked, answered : ' what's the size of my dick for instance ... '

 

[Achernar]

 

[Allan]

Danish coach Christian Andersen once totally ignored tha commentator's question and said: "You know what, this is our first season in the Superleague and with 8 (or sth) games left, we're clear of relegation, that's world class and I'm gonna get drunk tonight".

Liked him ever since

 

[berkleyblack]

hotrod says....

"Bah Weep Granah Weep Ninny Bon"

universal greeting!

 

[Falconspirit]

A Life is worth nothing, but nothing is worth a life.

 

[Allan]

Having passed exams and written essays on "Heart of Darkness", I thought it might be time to actually read the thing, stumbled across this, for some reason I thought it might fit this forum.

"It's queer how out of touch with truth women are! They live in a world of their own and there had never been anything like it and never can be. It is too beautiful altogether, and if they were to set it up it would go to pieces before the first sunset. Some confounded fact, we men have been living contentedly with ever since the day of creation, would start up and knock the whole thing over."

 

[pistol_pete]

anything Claudio Ranieri says is always good.

 

[Su Jacko]

I've got to do a page of Groucho quotes!!!!
"He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot"
"Quote me as saying I was misquoted"
" Military justice is to justice what military music is to music"
" I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book"
"One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know"
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read"
"Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honour; which is probably more than she ever did"
"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members"

and a bit of Oscar Wilde
"In love, one always begins by deceiving oneself, and one always ends by deceiving others, that is what the world calls romance"
"Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about"
"There is only one class in the community that thinks more about money than the rich, and that is the poor"
"I can resist everything except temptation"
"We really have everything in common with America nowdays except, of course, language. "
"Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat"

and at last Mae West
"Good sex is like good Bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand"
"Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried"