Today I catnapped a kitten from the apartment complex ring of snot nosed brats. Upon first ponder, I harbored guilt in my breast, but this moral burden was lifted once I saw these kids chasing and pinning the critter to the ground as it squirmed for dear life. Fucking thing chowed down 3 full servings of cat food in one sitting. Neighborhood whore, fun to play with, but not good enough to take out and dine. I made an honest pussy out of her, and can't wait to overhear this Lord of the Flies gang of grade schooles call out "kittie kittie kittie" tomorrow afternoon. Fuck Kids! This thing adores me, and nobody will stand in my way of love!