Well fucking hell...

[dorian gray]

stars

 

[cthulufhtagn]

"favela of my dismay"




is this the winter of your discontent?

 

[dorian gray]

"favela of my dismay"

haha yeah, this slayed me too. I composed a song in my head called "favela of my dismay" afterwards

 

[skeptik]

Fuck somebody needs to revoke my license before I kill somebody. It's a dark, dank, acidic rain fallen day in the City of Agua Dulce. As I was arriving to the homestead two minutes ago, a Sparkletts Drinking Water delivery fan had cut off my normal 90yz slant post pattern route in which I normally take to the favela of my dismay. Being that I'm an impatient American who can't wait a fraction of a second for the van to pass by, I proceed to the next block and make a left on a green light, as I notice that no cars were approaching at the time. As I turn to make a left, out of thin air appears a middle aged Mexican who more than likely arrived in this country not less than a month ago. I brake in order to avoid the collision that would crumble my pocketbook like a seventh string concubine on Constantine's Byzantine man-rind. He shuffles forward out of the way of my oncoming jalopy with the agility of a gazelle on the plains of the Serengeti. Feeling like a cad, I throw my hand up to say "hello", in a silent gesture of "Welcome to my land". He in turn just smiles back grateful to be in a country that offers health care to all.

Fuck!!!!!! I've been driving for 9 years with no accidents. Now this week alone I've been in a fender bender and came inches away from committing vehicular manslaughter. Good fucking shite!!! I might have to go back to riding the subway with all the guitar heroes.

My brother hit a Mexican that was riding a bike.

 

[Demilich]

Some elderly asian woman rear ended me while I was stopped in a parking lot yesterday.

She was backing up so a 53 foot trailer could back in and drop off a delivery at a grocery store, and I was pulling out after servicing the store, I was half way out of my spot and she starts backing up. I stop, and just sit there. She backs up to within a few inches of my car, then stops. I wait a couple of minutes... nothing... the trailer can't back in cause someone ELSE is blocking his path of entry. Fuck. I'm getting impatient. Just when I'm about to try to go around this bint (but I'm still halfway out of my spot, in park and not moving), she randomly and for no apparent reason decides to continue backing up though she's already out of the way of the goddamn truck. Right into my front fender. I get out, check for damage, nothing visible on my vehicle or hers. She opens her door, I tell her to be more careful next time, and she nearly starts crying and blubbering in some seriously hurtin' Chinglish that she's sorry and she didn't mean to.

It didn't occur to me until later that immigrants can play dumb in that kind of situation to their advantage, but fuck it.



Also, last week, I witnessed a head-on collision about 3 feet in front of my car, and one of the vehicles involved spun out and stopped SO close to the side of my van that my heart skipped at least 3 beats. Fuck.

 

[skeptik]

...yeah, but did you hit a Mexican on a bike?